My current social situation is barren. I'm 22, still living at home, commute to school (it's my last semester) and work at home. I've been told I'm a very good looking guy with a good sense of humor and very smart, but lack social skills and initiative. I never had many friends but all but 1 (who is hardly ever around for anything more than the occasional dinner anyway) have moved becuase of school or work, so I literally have no social circle. I always read stuff like "you need to build huge social circles." However, I've noticed everyone in my age bracket attends bars/clubs/parties and quite frankly I hate all of these places. I don't like alcohol or overly crowded hectic environments. I haven't made a new friend in years, as it is, but want to meet new people. The paradox seems to be that everyone in my age bracket hangs out in places I can never seem to enjoy or have a good time at.

Is there anyway for a guy like me to meet people without going to bars/clubs/parties?

Go to a mall, doesn't have to be night time to talk to people.

Other places you can go to:

Mall
Museum
Theater (As in the performing arts, tho make sure the show is at least a bit manly or else people may think you are gay at first glance)
Art Shows
The beach/lake
Hobby gatherings
Public trade shows
Any local city activities (tho they may be too family ordinated but you can give it a shot anyway)

I'm 22 myself; however, I love going out! My suggestion to you, try to learn to enjoy it. I'm not going to lie, I had to learn to enjoy going to clubs. It felt like I was the biggest loser there when I turned 21, because the only people I knew and was willing to talk to were my friends already. (Which can get you laid, but not often enough for my liking.) But eventually I became a very open and social individual.

While you may see bars/clubs as a completely stupid waste of money, your missing the point. You don't have to spend a dime. I sober sarge it at least 1 night a week to allow for contrast in my game. Due to alcohol, girls do things in clubs that they wouldn't do anywhere else. Also, because of the previous conditions; you can fulfill women's fantasies in a club if you find a dark corner, show them that your a guy who understands, and can give them what they need.

You are missing out on adventures and experiences by neglecting night life. If that is alright with you and your not looking for these types of adventures, then your going to eliminate a large percentage of your chances for interactions.

With that being said, if your simply unwilling to meet a new challenge and become a social being of the night, day-game is great too! Coffee shops (Starbucks has comfy chairs in close quarters, which make it really easy to talk to the hot girl next to you), book stores (go up to a girl and ask her what book she's looking for, this usually will spark conversation), clothing stores (ask for their opinions on particular articles. "Does this look good on me?"), record stores (talking about music can lead to a girls heart!), any place that you go is your playground.

I have to remind myself of the one rule I have for day game:
1) You have permission to talk to any girl you want!

I wish you the best of luck good sir!

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Crowd to Crowd

If someone doesn't like something they should not force themselves to like it, just because others are doing it. Just like not everyone is cut out for college, not everyone is "cut out" for clubs.

I'll be honest I prefer the idea of day game (and frankly I'd have thought girls do too, I mean, how often does a girl get approached in the street compared to the amount of times she gets approached in the evening? Sure she gets loads of guys perving and all that)

I will admit I didn't much like clubs and places like that (gigs were cool but trying to talk a girl while a band they want to watch is playing is not really the best tactic, in between band's sets or after the band have finished, fine, but during, nah) but I've managed to get used to them and learnt to enjoy them and am often perceived as confident. Of course my night game needs a little work, I'm not going to deny that.

There are exceptions to every rule but I think day game is better for finding a potential girlfriend and night game perhaps better if you're more into one night stands BUT this is not always true, you can sometimes make an amazing connection with a girl while in a club.

Sorry to go a little off topic, but has anyone ever picked up a girl in day game, then taken her home or even taken her for a night out and had a one night stand with her?

www.meetup.com. Find a group that does something you find interesting, and is active and you should end up with some friends...

...and some "friends."

I agree to an extent. I feel like your making an assertion that I didn't make, which is "do it because others are doing it." This not what I said, but I respect your interpretation of my statements.

Let me use working out as an example to clarify this. At first, working out sucked. I kept thinking, "Dear god, why am I subjecting myself to such a painful experience." But the real answer was that I wasn't happy with my then current physical self. So I continued to work out. Little by little I found that I enjoyed certain workouts. I began to enjoy the feeling of ripping muscle and getting your heart pounding. Fast forward 4 years. I now work out 5-6 days a week, enjoy rigorous exercise, and am much happier with a lot of things in my life due to this exercise.

In regards to learning to like clubs, its very similar to exercising in that you are actually running social exercises when you force yourself to talk to people in clubs. At first, these exercises were very uncomfortable for me as well. But the more I do them, the more I see how much I enjoy it. My suggestion pertains to the idea that if your not happy with your current social patterns (particularly in the realm of women), then by not giving clubs a chance and finding things that are enjoyable about them, you are cutting a large percentage of women out of your scope as well as hindering your social progress. Don't like it because everyone else does, tolerate it because its an opportunity to have an amazing time with beautiful women and to further develop a better set of social skills.

With that being said, I still support day-game to the fullest:

Grocery store (Particularly Whole Foods or other health food stores because beautiful single women tend to shop at these places. A girls gotta eat healthy!), City Parks (Take a jog and talk to the hotties at the water fountain.), the gym (Good looking, hard working, ambitious women with high self-esteem tend to work out.), or even the public Library (Similar concept to that of a bookstore. Find out what they are interested in, and run with it.).

Again, good luck to you. I really do hope you find what your looking for!

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Crowd to Crowd

Now I see where you are coming from better. And like you I agree with you to an extent as well. But there is one thing I have to question. You say by not going to clubs you cut out a large percentage of women. How is that so? I agree that you do cut a certain amount of women by not going but a large percentage? I don't know where you are getting that from. If you could explain that more I can understand where you are coming from.

Well, I suppose when I said "large" I said it more as an arbitrary adjective. But perhaps its not as arbitrary as I thought. For me, night game goes from Thursday evening until Sunday evening. 4 nights a week, alloted that I don't have other things that require my attention. While you can get loads of numbers and dates from day game (often times you get many more returns on day game), I simply feel that night game is 50% of the equation because, I go to clubs to meet women. Good looking women are at bars and clubs in flocks. The addition of alcohol into the equation also leads to more possibilities for sexual tension, dirty dancing, and ONS's. Now, if you were to objectively look at the numbers of women available for conversation in day game compared to night game, I would say that night game takes the cake. You cram more conversation into less time and I personally get a high from this. Of coarse, you do get more women who remember you from day game.

Okay, another aspect here. Even on those day game returns, you want to take her to a place that you can have fun right? If your not really a night life person, you can come up with some other awesome things to do. And this is even better if she too is not a night life person. But, if you are a night life person its easier to take her out because you have social proofing at the clubs/bars that you frequent. You add a layer of "cool" by knowing the bartenders and having friends come up and say "Hey!"

This is more based on my observations and feelings, thus it doesn't necessarily apply to anyone else. Feel free to omit the word "large" from my previous statements if it suits your fancy!

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Crowd to Crowd

Okay now I understand where you are coming from.

i used to hate clubs when i was 18-20 because i didnt understand it.. then i had a friend of mine introduce me into that scene.. he was a promoter, so he got in free.. id tag along and get in free.. go to a few and when you can finally drink, it opens up. Esp if your asian or go to asian clubs, theres a higher ratio of good looking girls. I eventually became a promoter for a while and got in free. Drink a lil alcohol in your system and you loosen up to where you dont feel uncomfortable.

I don't know if this will be of any help but if there is some sort of organisation linked to the work or course you do, you should get involved with it - it's a great way to meet people. To give you an example when I moved to Leicester, where I did my lawyer training, I didn't know a single person.

Because I knew nobody and had absolutely no social base, I joined the committee of a local group of young lawyers who organise social and networking events for the junior lawyers in the region. Through doing that I got to know nearly everyone in my profession and I've made a large number of friends from it, many of whom I go out with every week. The work I do on behalf of the committee is entirely voluntary and takes up a lot of time, but it's definitely worth it. I've also met girls through doing it as well, especially as I have to contact bar owners, entertainers and so on to arrange the events.

I'd definitely recommend getting involved with some sort of local organisation - even if it's a bit geeky it expands your social network considerably, and you're bound to meet at least a few people who you'll get on with and go out with.

And if you're not up for clubs and parties etc, you can always go to bars that are quieter or go to things like seminars, music shows, conventions, art shows and so on. Unless you live in a small community or a shack out at sea, chances are there will be something in town for everyone.

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If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten...