Hey guys,

I'm about average height and while I have alot going for me, I have found that I feel a bit weaker when someone taller and bigger than me trys to intimidate me. Do other guys who are not tall and buff know what I'm talking about? if so how have you overcome it?

One idea so far: its a perception that I wont be able to defend myself against them, but I know I can cause serious harm to them, so if I pick a fight with one of those guys who tries to be be intimidating and inflict some pain to them to know that I can defend myself if I so choose (maybe get my ass kicked at the same time .

Appologies to tall/buff guys in-advance it is an advantage, but it should not be end all be all...

Listen big guys are trying to do that to you on a conscious level, they know when you are intimidated, they can feel it. The best thing you can do is relax and not let them affect you when they are trying to be intimidating, that annoys them even more because they feel powerless.

The main thing is not to react to there presence. I'm a big guy and I get the reverse of this sometimes. I usually don't try to intimidate anyone, but a lot of times guys who meet me, immediately straighten their posture and try to stand tall as if they could grow and be taller than me simply by standing different. The fact that they are trying to intimidate me, especially when they are smaller, triggers something primal in me and sometimes I can't help but return the attitude. I would have probably been cool with them and not tried to put off an intimidating vibe, but when they do it first it's rude enough that I can't help myself.

If perhaps you were not as sensitive about height differences, it would not affect your demeanor around big guys, and conversely big guys would treat you better.

Example I have a cousin who is 5'8 160 pounds. An average sized guy. But he stands with such confidence and exudes such personal strength, that most people think he's at least 6 feet tall. When you have confidence and a noticeable presence, your actual height and size isn't that big of a deal. I've never seen him intimidated by anyone, regardless of their height and size.

Thanks Kalel,

I agree with you that it is a self limiting belief, because I've also known guys who are even shorter and skinnier than me and come across like your cousin does. I imagine if someone bigger than them was to try to intimidate them it would hardly phase them.

But I'm starting out and still have a long road to being able to exude this impression in a social environment. So I tend to flake out when a bigger guy tries to intimidate me when I'm DHVing to the group (without being rude to the bigger guy).

How can I get the interaction to continue without being affected?

Im 6ft 4, and never really had any height related problems with anyone, I certainly don't try to intimidate anybody whos smaller than me, but I do notice that you get small guys who think its there duty to try to out Alpha taller guys, aka "Little Man Syndrome" but if you were smaller than me and came accross natural ad normal I generally wouldnt treat them any differently than i do to any Tom, Dick and Harry...I dont think its a major thing to worry about. But if push comes to shove, just punch them in the balls and run haha.

good post. I'm 5'7 and used to be obsessed with the issue of height. it's mainly from comments my long-term ex-girlfriend made when we were together. she was 5'10 and liked to say how she loved 'little guys'. plus she wore heels and shit. i should have been thinking i was g money with a tall lanky girl but instead it fucked me up. for a while, i couldn't even go to bars because walking up to the bar to get a drink made me feel short.

But hey - judging from video I've seen of Neil Strauss - that dude aint tall. check him out on jimmy kimmel on youtube. or one of my old buddies - he is 5'1 and consistently gets hotties.

as for intimidation factor, yeah - it's a work smarter, not harder type notion...i tell myself that if i devote energy to being intimidated by dudes who are nearly a foot taller than I am at bars, i'm losing energy i could use talking to some cute girl who i'm probably taller than anyway.

i believe it's true that some girls do require a certain height guy (i know girls who think 5'10 is too short for them)...that's primal shit i can't do anything about

I'm 1'75m and below average height in my country. It doesn't really affect your game at all and it is a lot more about your attitude then your height.

Heck, I've made a 1'90m bodybuilder flake out on a set due to his inferior talking-skills. Use your brain and not your height and you see how little importance looks actually have.

- Exerio

Not true, its all about atitude....you mentioned Niel Strauss, do you think that he cant get any of those girls?

Neil Strauss wrote a book. The guy is a professional writer. But hey, I guess if you see it in the bookstore or on tv it is true.

As far as height goes. As a tall very attractive guy I promise you that girls LOVE the height. I think they love my height as much as my eyes and dimples.

You're both right.

Some women find the need to be with a man who makes them feel small and delicate, in other words feminine. These are usually taller women who don't feel feminine due to their size.
On the other hand, there are many ways to make a tall woman feel delicate and protected besides just being tall.

Still some other women have a rule about height because of how they feel they will be viewed by others. They see men as an accessory that they can show of to the world, and if you don't meet their criteria they don't want to have anything to do with you. These women are puppets of society, living the life they think their suppose to have, rather than the life they want.

Well,height is relative.I mean,I am 6'1 and I don't consider myself tall because where I come from,that is probably average height for 18 year olds,not to mention the younger crowds…My point is that is only important that you are taller than the girl,and even that doesn't matter if you have the personality.

yeahh - i realize it appeared i was contradicting myself but what Kalel mentions is exactly what i was talking about - the girls who have a rule. small minority of course...

To be honest here, height is a factor for most girls. Saying that its generally not a deal breaker with girls that are 5'5" and shorter. But the higher you go the more likely it will be. If you are a short guy just accept it and be happy with your height. I know that may sound dumb. But think about it for a sec. Girls love guys that are confident in themselves. And if you show you are comfortable with your height they will find you more appealing. Also please for pete's sake make your self "bigger" or "taller" just because there is a taller guy near you. As that just shows your lack of security in your self and height and people do notice it.

Honestly i think its not a deal breaker in any situation. Is a factor..of course it is, but by no means a deal breaker, after all it belongs to "looks" categorie and as we know looks are not enough and mean little compared to other factors

i read before thet off th cuff the most attractive feature is height . however "attractive" to me just means attention grabbing , so a realy short person will grab someones attention in a room in my eyes just as much as a 6 ft 4 , best advice would be to perfect the art of working with what you got .

best of luck

_________________
I wanto be what I was whn I wanted to be what I am now.
Except with the same lady skills

That's actually good topic, and it rises one question I am having:

Sometimes in the bars or clubs, some taller or same-size as me guys tend to - while talking to a girl or doing whatever - stand just exactly in front of me, back to me, what automatically lowers my value and also - hiding me from the public. How do you solve it, without - let's say - breaking the glass on this moron's head?