hi guys

it's been a few months since my last relationship(went for 4 years).. i'm 20.

me and afew buddys decided to hit up a local club on saturday. one girl caught my eye, would rate her a 8. she was dancing on this podium thing.. i called her down, we danced, i got her name & digits, she's 18... we didnt speak bout anything else the club is too loud, people go there to let loose and have a good time not chat. i forgot her name and i only found her number in my phone today (tuesday).

i haven't talked to any girls since my last relationship, and i never tried to while i was with her.. that was 4 years! and since i haven't picked up any a long time i haven't really got any confidence and have gone quite shy which sucks big time.

should i msg this chick today? i dont even know her name, what should i say?? should i ask her to see a movie this fri? there's nothing really else happening in my town and there hardly ever is.

Does she have your number?


In either case... just say hi. That's how I start off new text convos with new girls, but then again I'm new at this

....Just do it today because you'll stress about it or forget about it if you wait

nope i didn't give her my number and i'm not 100% sure this is hers, she did type it in my phone, but i wasnt sure what i saved it under - i did ask for her name first but didnt hear her so i asked again and still hear her over the music.. didnt want to ask a third time

Send her a text teasing and bringing up something from that night so she can deduce it is you texting her. For example, if I met a girl at a club and while talking to her, she was ordering some weird drink (i'll call the drink 'tin can' for this example) and you teased her about it during the convo, bring it up in your first text. And always include your name at the end of your first text just in case.

So I would say, "Hey dork, have you been crushing any more tin cans lately? -Julias"

Later on, to get her name, just say you spelt it wrong in your phone and hit a bunch of weird keys and ask her how you spell it again. There may be something better, but I don't know of anything.

If you didn't get to talk much in the club, don't take her to a movie. You need somewhere you can talk and build attraction and comfort. You can't talk in a movie.

OK, here comes few tips!
1. NEVER EVER MESSAGE HER, ALWAYS CALL!! ( even if you were a little shy because you havent dated for a while, calling her shows that you have courage !! )
2. Set a time limit!! ( When you ask her out, set a time limit. This wont leave you in a awkward position if things dont go smooth, you can always refer that " you have to go because of your band rehearsal " )
3. Call her in the very next day!!
4. When you ask her out try to meet her with in the next days!!! ( If you stall too much she may start to have these "reversed" feelings )

[ Johnny B ]

_________________
When you lose, don't lose the lesson. ~Author Unknown
Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small. ~Ruth Gendler

i would consider calling if we spoke in the club - atleast i'd have something to talk to her about.. i think a txt is more appropiate? i'll txt her tomorow sometime still thinking of what to say/do.. i'd usually not have a problem doing this ..she is pretty damn hot and it is a little intimidating, i dont want to fuck it up

It doesent matter if you spoke to her or not. If you do not call her it shows how you said you feel, " immitated ", " you dont want to fuck this up ". Then you end up writing a ( safe ) message which indicates that you dont have enough courage to call her. You are not used to associate with women.
Self confident guy who has been with several women would call her because its like a everyday call to a friend. Plus, its harder to a girl turn down your persuadeing via talking then by written words.

Pointer:
- If you havent talked to her yet before meeting her, its going to be pretty awkward than just saying the first words in phone.

Note:
- Sometimes people who arent so familiar to the game comes here to this forum and asks our opinion about a stuff that they should do. When somebody here who suggests to do something that is out of their " BOX " ( stuff that is not so familiar to them ) they start to rebell against it and are trying to prove to themselfs that their way is the best. This is simpply a safe mechanism in your brain which signals to you that because its " new " than you should go with the old methods just because you dont have experience from the new styles output that it brings you.

=Confidence is the key what every women seeks from a guy. Dont end up playing safe and worrying about loosing her or you will.


[ Johnny B ]

_________________
When you lose, don't lose the lesson. ~Author Unknown
Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small. ~Ruth Gendler

i think J. B is right .... if you don't send her a message or call her the next day she maybe forget you or loose attraction.

anyway im a text message person but i think he has a good point ... when you call the girl the girl will be like wtf ? i think she will be impressed as long you got a good opener.
And end the conversation by telling her you got something interesting to do like : hey i got to go i got to train for blablabal..'' just convey your bussy and interesting.
true ... i have send some subtile text messages to girl but got turned down a few times. When talking over the phone you could say alot in a short amount of time which will create a good impression.
totally true

if i was a girl and a guy would text message me it wouldn't be as special as a phone call. Just think up a good story .. get relaxed maybe watch a humorous TV show before calling her.

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I agree with a lot of this...however it really does depend on how you left her. You cannot make a hard and fast rule as in '1. NEVER EVER MESSAGE HER, ALWAYS CALL!!'. One thing that disturbs me is newbies taking advice where hard and fast rules are involved. Dont make it a rule, rather UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT, and use the concept when needed.

IMO, in the case that you spent a lot of time together and built decent rapport with her, shared a few stories and got to a point where you felt that you both 'clicked' (you know the feeling), then call her...not necessarily the next day....but i would call her. You had a chance to make an impression, if you did good she will welcome the call.

If you got a 5 min number close and have no clue whether you built attraction or not then you could do the following....

1. txt her to test the water....some girls prefer a txt msg for starters as its less direct....besides you barely know each other....she may reply to your txt msg but wont return your call, correct? Correct! A txt msg allows you to get your foot in the door and get her 'going'. I normally prime her with a random txt msg that involves a personal joke we had. When/if she replies I then freeze her out immediately...and i mean after that first reply of hers...now she ALREADY thinks she screwed up...this will baffle her...your txt msg was mysterious, I mean it came through, and now theres nobody on the other end? Now wait 2 days then you call her out of the blue. she will be thinking 'phew! and i thought i f*cked that one up!' with a sigh of relief and at this point she clearly welcomes the call with open arms. No resistance!

2. call her, she may be a bit surprised or freaked out as you only met for 5 minutes....from there your job is to get her comfortable on the phone....not build attraction but only comfortable enough to get her to accept your meeting request. Dont speak too long...get rapport going and then go in for the kill...end call (preferably on a positive and laughing note).

At the end of the day...if your txt msg says the right thing OR if you say the right thing on the phone....you'll win either way. Both methods work wonders.

When it's already flaky like this, you should call rather than text as you'll have a better chance of getting over the " who is this" hump.

I'd call try not to remind her of who you are and have a fun 5 minute convo where you don't ask her out then repeat later.

I've written epics on phone and text game that you can find with an internet search but that'll have to do for here.

JS

thanks thats what i was looking for. after i got her number i did see her looking at me quite afew times, and i did see her dancing/chatting with another guy and she was looking at me while doing so, trying to make me jelous... i ignored it and continued dancing with other girls. was that a mistake?

If there wasn't a connection, you already lost her. No ,matter how much you try at this point.. if there was, then she will meet you anywhere YOU want to meet.

Vin DiCarlo has really good phone / text game methods too

[ Johnny B ]

_________________
When you lose, don't lose the lesson. ~Author Unknown
Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small. ~Ruth Gendler

no that was a not a mistake bud. thats the way to go.

i would say your mistake was not speaking to her for long enough.