trying to figure out where i went wrong here....

she sleeps over...no sex...just heavy fooling around. this is the first time we've hooked up and we met 3 weeks prior.

next night, she comes over at about 3am after work...this time just chatted for about 30min lying in bed and went to sleep...i didnt get physical...dont ask me why, i dont think i was in the mood (i was absolutely fucked from that day).

next day...she is very distant...a few days later we agree to be friends (coming from her side first...i just acted like i didnt give a shit said ye i fully agree).

do you think its possible that me not escalating that night killed the attraction immediately? i know for a fact she was into me. im battling to see how ONE night of spending 30min chatting and not getting physcial could kill it altogether if she was really into me...

i would have thought that this would normaly have ENHANCED the attraction as it probably came across like i was playing hard to get. she knows im not 'scared' to make a move so...i just didnt feel like it and this would normally make a women want it more. instead the attraction was killed somehow...

thoughts?

She slept over, no sex. She came over at 3 AM... no sex. What makes you think she "knows you're not scared to make a move"?

Next time a girl comes straight to your house after work at 3 in the morning take it as an invitation to rock her world until you both fall asleep mid-sex .

because it was that time of the month...following night when she came over again, well the river hadnt quite run its course just yet.

the thing is....i didnt even kiss her the 2nd...and i think that may have been the f*ck up. thing is ive been chatting to her for like 3 weeks so have gotten to know her fairly well...so one night of not getting physical shouldn't have had an impact...(i wouldnt have thought)..if anything would have made her want me more.

Ah, in that case I take my earlier statement back.


Well, one thing to keep in mind... girls are just really weird like that. If you didn't kiss, her insecurities might have taken over and convinced her that you weren't interested in her anymore, or she might have just not been in a talkative mood that day. It could be any number of things, but keep at it until you've got a more solid indicator that something isn't right.

Best of luck to you man

You care too much about this girl. I can tell. You can care, but this is too much.

Based on all your posts about her, you have invested into her to the point where now your ego will get hurt.

Control your emotions and ego. Be free from the outcome of her. Grind it out, and who gives a shit if you lose her.

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I'm addicted to facing my fears.

youre 100% right there David....however even though I did put too much into this one Im still trying to work out where I went wrong, I try to learn from every girl that I pursue.

Oh and not all posts were about her...there are about 3 at the moment but this one i became particularly into.

Your statement interests me though....do you personally back off from a girl as soon as you start liking her? ie. when you stand the chance of your ego being hurt. i think sometimes one simply has to suck it up. if youre into someone, its one thing feeling emotional about her, but its another thing letting your emotions get the better of you and controlling you. feeling emotional about someone and having so-called feelings is only natural...its how you act on those feelings that makes or breaks it.

Funny you should bring this up as I have been thinking about this in the past few days...ie. how to like a girl and be fairly into her...without standing the chance of your 'ego' being hurt IF she ever had to give you the LJBF. I thinking the trick is not let her KNOW just how into her you are...as this is the main cause of the ego being hurt...the feeling of her 'winning' and being 'too good for you' after youve invested so much, will dent your ego indeed.

However if you go about the whole thing from the beginning in a lighthearted and care-free manner (even though you may really like her, alot)...well if she ever gives you the LJBF speech, you may be affected inside and will have to deal with that for sure, no getting around that...however SHE wont know how affected you are which means your ego will remain in tact...because in her eyes you dont really give a dam.