so i have a cute HB8-9 mexican girl i have known for a long time. one night we randomly hooked up for the first time and it was great for both parties. A few weeks later i learned she has been attracted to me since we met (5-6 years ago) and i told her it was the same with me. since then we have fooled around a few more times but we haven't had sex again. she just got out of a semi long relationship with some guy and she said she needs to finish up school, so she felt it might not be the best time for us to be doing this because she wouldn't want to ruin something between us. Also i think she doesn't want me to think she randomly hooks up a lot of guys (which i know is not true) since we've been friends for so long. but at the same time she has told me she wouldn't mind hooking up again. recently she has been pulled the LJBF move on me for the time being while she is trying to figure shit out.

i know this whole situation very AFC of me but im a rAFC so give me the benefit of the doubt. so what should i say/do to make her want to continue seeing each other or should i just pursue new women without potentially ruining a good friendship with a good friend over a little fling. any advice is good advice be it negative or not.

Don't fall for this trap everything she's saying is a lie so she can keep you just as a friend. she's probably feeling a little guilty about messing around with you but as long as she doesn't have sex with you she feels she can get away with whatever she wants.

This is when freeze out can work because the girl knows you interested in more than friendship.

1st Do not let yourself slip into the roll of nice guy you'll land right back into the friend zone. Another important thing is you do not not comfort her at all. Be busy if she wants to hang out you decline her offer and don't try to re-shedule with her either. Stop returning her phone calls I don't care if she calls 3 times in a row or leaves a message do not call her back. When you see her in person and she ask if you got her messages you say yeah "I got it been pretty busy lately". Now she's gonna ask question's to test like are you mad at me? (Don't show angry emotion) in a Just say "No I just got a lot of things going on right now I'll catch you later ok."

Ok this is a fact Women do not like being ignored you'll literally will drive them insane they will think about you constantly because its never happened to them and they wont' know what to do.

The way to finally ended this is when she' become too desperate to hang out with you. The way to test her desperation level is to tell her only this day and time with work for you pick and odd like like 9pm. because you have to work late or something. She'll agree to it when she gets to your place time to take care of business.

Finally don't reveal your true intention's to her
DO NOT EVER EVER tell her "I was acting like this way just to get you"


LAST THING: anyone who attempts this freeze out method without 1st letting the girl know your sexually interested in being more than friends either verbally or physically, is weak and a coward and this will not work for you.

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thanks for the reply it means a lot but really dude i have been one of her best friends for years. she tells me everything. i was thinking she was trying to freeze me out at first but honestly she's not that kind of a girl. she's not manipulative and isn't playing games. she's really laid back and wouldn't intentionally try to fuck with my head i definitely am doing the ignore her until she comes to me though. if it was any other girl id probably agree with you but with her. i'm definitely taking this advice for another situation i am in with another girl but its not a LJBF case. I'm not disagreeing with you or saying what you said is wrong, i just know this girl inside and out. honestly if we stayed just friends it wouldn't bother me at all. there is sexual tension but not enough to immediately drop everything and be together. but thank you it helps like i said i have another girl thats trying to do that shit to me but i'm not dealing with her shit and havent been. this type of advice is what i was looking for in that situation.

oh and i know shes not feeling guilty cuz she has reassured me more then once and has said she wants to do it more most likely sooner then later. but im not sitting back and waiting for her and i dont expect her to do that either. ive done that with enough girls when i was younger and im sick of it

nice post...

I find your last comment interesting...
I am wondering if your reasoning for this is the same as mine...ie. the underlying mechanics

If you do NOT convey that you want her sexually before freezing her out, she will simply see you as a friend that is 'deserting' her, this will not create attraction but rather upset her in a friend-to-friend kind of way. (and yes you will remain in the friend zone)

If you DO convey that you want her sexually before freezing her out, she will then start getting mixed messages about whether you really want her or not, but more importantly, WHY you want her...you want her to be thinking the following...'hes just told me he wants me...and now he's too busy for me...does he really want me?? I want to know!'...then for the WHY he wants me... 'does he want me just for sex? does he want me for a quick fling? does he ACTUALLY like me in that way?'. The very fact that she cannot read what you are after makes you a challenge, which creates attraction. Also, the fact that you are conveying that you're just too busy to hang with her right now conveys UNneedyness which once again creates attraction. My point is, once you have got her wondering about the above thoughts...you are out of the friend zone...because no-one 'wonders' about their friends in that way...and freezing her out after conveying you want her sexually...will FORCE her to think about you in that way.

(this is my theory anyway)

Visions that is exactly it good comments thanks for doing the clean on that explanation

I think im going to post this in another post separately later today
so everyone this applies too can read it.

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As far as her excuse "I just can't do that with school right now"... I think that's a load of crap.

The thing is - she has plenty of time to do both. If it is IMPORTANT to her, then she'll do both.

A freeze-out might not be a bad idea, and if she asks you what's up, just go ahead and tell her that you thought she needed extra time to take care of herself with school, like she told you. It's a quick excuse for a freeze out that won't make you look like an idiot, or that you're trying to confuse her.

Just let her know what's up.

hey guys thanks for you replies i think im going to take some of this advice and apply it in both of my situations. im going through other shit right now other then just girl problems and i think a freeze out will work. on the other hand i've been freezing girls out a little to long when i started college and got dumped and it turned me into a huge AFC but this forum is helping me a lot. thanks again!

One question on the freeze-out thing. What if the girl already has a boyfriend? I'm considering trying this, but not sure if that would just make her appreciate her boyfriend more when right now I feel like she's pretty uncertain about him. (either that or she's fucking with me... )

I dont see how freezing a girl out for too long would turn you into an AFC. If anything you would come out having higher value almost always. Im not saying freezing out for too long wont lose you the girl (you could easily lose her as she may think youve lost interest)...but it certainly wont make you look needy/AFC.