Hey

So many times iv'e arroached a girl in a bar with just "hey how are you, can I buy you a drink?" and they say sure, then leaves after getting the drink... So obviously that is not the right way to buy a girl a drink ..

Anyways when shuld I? Isnt guys kinda supposed to buy a girl a drink in a bar when ha wants to get to know her and stuff?

When shuld I offer her a drink? What shuld I respond if she asks for a drink right away? Thats a bad sign isnt it if she does? Or could it mean that she wants to get to know me but also wants a drink?

Help me out!

The common PUA wisdom is to never buy a girl a drink. That's what everyone else does, and you're supposed to be different.

There are probably exceptions, and ways to make it work... but try opening with other things first.

Ok but wont she think youre a cheepskate then?

Dont buy her a drink immediately. you are not that boring that you have to buy a girl a drink in order for a girl to stick around (this is what most guys do...and when the drink is gone, so is she)

if she asks you to buy her a drink? say its a policy of yours not to buy strange girls drinks, and that she can buy you one if she wants.

later on in the night when shes hooked on you and youve built attraction already, then a drink gesture from your side can go own nicely. this means you didnt use the drink to initially get her.

You gotta show that her beauty doesn't effect you, so you stand out by not buying a drink. Plus this may be a shit test, so throw HER a new hoop

try this...

HB: Can you buy me a drink? etc, whatever
PUA: What, are you fucking broke

with cocky/funny of course

Haha I love that!

Do you think she is a cheapskate for not buying you a drink? Sorry man but you need to get this "double standard" thing out of your head.

If you want to pay a woman to talk to you I suggest finding a hooker or a shrink. If you want to bed a woman I suggest you keep your wallet in your pocket. Or better yet, make her buy you a drink. I can't count the number of drinks I won using the 5 lie game.

Hehe yes I guess your right .. I've always thought thats how it it .. you know.. man buys woman drink and they live happily ever after

No dude...

It's women buys man drink and he fucks her brains out

yehh and keep in mind theres some girls who play the "who can score the most free drinks" game.. dont be one of their victims

Reverse golddiggers (when you get them to buy you a drink) is always fun to try xD

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Living Life without fear

As mentioned above, after the hook point a drink can be a pleasant gesture, a change in location, and a DHV (Not for buying the drink, but for being nice enough to offer her something after you've been talking for a while. As if she was a guest at your house.)

But never, never, never buy a girl a drink within the first 5 mins of meeting her. I've gotten friends of mine to hustle guys into getting them a free drink, then they give it to me and say, "thanks for the drink!"

Also, buying a drink as an opener is a DLV because it communicates that your not confident that your interesting enough by yourself and it also communicates that you are blatantly sexually interested in her. Instantly buying a drink communicates too much interest and is a turn off. What would she have to do to work for your attention if your throwing it at her from the get go?

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Crowd to Crowd

Just as a thought, which has probably been covered elsewhere, what about asking a girl to buy me a drink as an opener?

I totally agree with the 5 minute rule. And even after 5 minutes I won't buy a girl a drink until she gives me her name. I know some people here will be against such things. But that is just how I work.
What if you worked this as a direct opener with a huge push pull to it? With the guy looking like he is going down that routine but then pulls back hard with a qualifier before he goes down that path completely? Its just a crazy idea I had. I know it won't be easy to pull off. But if a guy had the right skills I can see this being successful.

Yeah, its a comic strip, (with some slightly dodgy puns) but it illustrates the point well.

http://leasticoulddo.com/comic/20090603

Read the story-arc that begins on the link above. (In fact, the maincharacter is pretty clearly based on PUAs - as well as being a pretty good comic this strip there's some pretty good tips to be had here I think)


http://leasticoulddo.com/comic/20090608 is especially relevent to this thread.

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I think the whole buying drinks thing is misunderstood.

The problem is telegraphing sexual interest with a line like "Can I buy you a drink?". That is fatal. You are placing her value above yours and that gives her the impression you are beneath her.

For this reason, the standard PUA theory is just to never buy girls drinks. For many AFC's this is good advice.

The thing is, it is bad to make an issue of it either way. RAFC's often seem to have some trouble with this, and can come across as cheap. Telegraphing sexual interest is bad, but so is making any kind of issue about money.

I almost always buy girls drinks. The reason is, I usually buy guys drinks also. I am a generous guy. This is an attractive quality, and I'm not going to change it. I usually have more money than whoever I'm drinking with, and they usually appreciate it. It is just stupid for me not to when it is no big deal to me financially but may be an issue to the other guy/girl.

The way I buy girls drinks however, is natural. Do not make a big deal out of it. Say as little as possible, just get 'em in. Do it the way you would for a guy. Don't do it to initiate conversation, do it as a progression of a conversation.

Saying something like "Have you tried this? It rocks. " and purchasing rare, interesting beverage gets you round the whole "What are you having?" question. You are just sharing a new experience with them rather than doing shit for them.

Most times, girls will usually go up and get the next round anyway. Let them. Make out you are doing them a favour when you do.

If she asks directly, then you need to get her to provide some kind of reason why you should eg "And why should I do that?". Accept almost anything she says as a reason.