Wow! Thanks for the great replies guys!
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Have you tried the newbie drills ? they got a few on this site bout how you go out and say hi and try and start a conversation with 20 girls in one day and do that for a week and ur approach anxiety should go away
Or what i used was "the rules of the game" by neil struass which has these daily missions on it.. 1st one was to talk to 5 strangers in one day bout a random topic
... kinda hard but once u can talk to strangers with ease it should come naturally to you
and btw a real PUA doesnt need alchohol in order to have confidence
Yeah thats what I thought about .. The newbie mission thats sticky in the Newbie Forum .. I guess I will try that one day I just have to dare to do it
BTW, im no PUA (yet?) so I do need alcohol to approach beautiful women.. But my plan is to drink less and less each time im out.. just to move slow towards complete sober.. Because no women likes a drunk dude.. That I learned a hundred times the hard way!
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dude i'm pretty much exactly where your at. its not that i cant carry on a conversation with a girl once i open. i just don't really know what i should say to start off to get her interested in the conversation or me. its just one of those insecurities we have to learn to over come brother you are not alone. i'm just trying to absorb as much as info as i can before i start really getting into it. my buddy has a tattoo thats a good analogy for both pick up and living i try to think about. its "the risk of failure is what makes life worth living" i think we just need to stop worrying and start doing. like neil strauss wrote in the game. don't let a girl you don't know rejection make you lose confidence in yourself, they don't know you anyways just move on. or something along those lines. like i said this is what i'm trying to do for myself right now. good luck
Well.. I usally dont have things to say even when the conversation is going .. But I will get better though! I am absolutely ready to aquire this skill.
"the risk of failure is what makes life worth living" -I like that! I have read alot about success (within business/money and life) as well as experienced alot about it myself and the most important thing I learned is that you cannot have success without failure and temporary defeat. Every great success has numbers of failures behind it. Thats the truth.. So basically if you dont want to experience failure you cannot have success at anything...
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My advice, if you find it just way too hard for you to actually get up, go out and talk to random girls (which is completely normal) and still really want to get over this anxiety, is to just make a strong habit of doing it where the conversation wouldn't be random, and you also have an easy way out of being stuck talking to someone with nothing to say.
Work on your openers at bus stops, waiting in lines or something as simple as asking a girl for the date (which can easily be transformed into "Oh really it's Monday!? I've been walking around thinking it's Sunday, does that ever happen to you?) etc... This takes a lot of the pressure off because it can be done in the street one on one instead of the typical club or bar scene.
There you have a wide range of places to go with the conversation without seeming like you're hitting on her, or if you feel like you've done enough simply close by saying thank you but I have to get going or whatever.
After doing this to as many people throughout your days as possible, you'll find conversation and speech will come much more naturally.
Thats a great tip!
But I think my biggest problem is that I have a way too serious expression on my face.. Even my friends say that .. Usally people dont get my jokes because I am way to serious.. I think I get serious because of nervousness.. Especially when talking to strangers.. I think that is the first thing I shuld work on.. Smiling more.. Be more happy... Because that is pretty important, right?
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The first step is realizing that you have two choices, the structured choice or the natural one!
Structured=Thinking about and planning how to approach, ect?
Yes thats true.. But its kinda hard to tell yourself not to think about something .. wish there was an auto-pilot button hehe .. But thats so true what you say! The anxiety about approaching women is def not real.. I mean what could possibly go wrong if we where not nervous? It is our nervousness that would eventually fuck up which is what we are nervous about in the first place.. Its really stupid I know...
CHAT