First I'd like to say, I am not looking for any moral lectures, so please don't give me advice like "go find another girl" I have decided this is out of the question. Thank you, oh yes, and I apologize for the long post but if you give me advice and it works I will send you 20 dollars in the mail LOL.

So there's a girl I've known for about 9months. She started talking to me, was the first to profess her love to me, and convinced me she was willing to leave everything she had just to be with me. One problem:she has a steady, long term boyfriend, who she lives with and has been trying to marry her. I was very "alpha" towards her because I honestly did not care about her, just saw her as a random chick who was kind of plain and a little weird. Then something just clicked that I can't explain it and I am still head over heels in love with her (if you knew the connection we have spiritually and personality wise you'd understand), and struggling to keep myself alpha, finding myself slipping and vulnerable to her will.

My 2 best friends recently left the country for 3 months so I don't really have any more friends. I find myself feeling pretty lonely and beta sometimes, especially on the weekends with nothing to do but I try not to let her know this. I am 21 she is 24, I was kind of depending on us being together for companionship at this time but it didn't happen for a variety of reasons (a close relative passed away, she lost her job, etc). After these things happened something just changed and she just wasn't the same old her, which is understandable, but I feel she lost her interest in me despite me trying to be there for her (she would just push me away). You could say it was beta for me to beg her to talk to me and share her feelings with me but sometimes its the human thing to do. She is still with her boyfriend who is almost 30, has a great job, pays the bills, but treats her like garbage and has nothing in common with her. I can't pay any of her bills, got nothing to offer her but me, at first she said that was more than enough but now she is getting cold feet about leaving her boyfriend despite getting a new job.

Before all the bad things happened to her we were getting really hot, although we both agreed she had to leave her boyfriend before we did anything sexual. It got to the point where we were close to having sex, our bodies were saying yes but our minds no, and our minds overcame the urge, out of respect for her boyfriend who I knew nothing about but didn't want to dick over.

Well long story short we talk maybe twice a week very briefly, and I only see her at school campus (we go to the same college) and that's only sometimes when her busy life has time for it. She doesn't even make a serious effort to want to see me and ignores my texts 50% of the time.

Here's the kicker, she keeps calling me her love, her darling and has told me she was in love with me more than once. I called her bullshit recently and she got all angry and emotional about it. I gave her the ultimatum: leave the boyfriend or stop wasting my time and don't talk to me. She was desperate for me to stay and pulled the friends card but I refused, I told her that it was all or nothing, no friends, she replied with "I can't give everything I have up for you..." which is understandable but I wouldn't stand being strung along. She said she couldn't bare not having me in her life and promised to get her "act together".

I've found out information about her boyfriend and I was wrong to respect him. He is a douchebag. I get the feeling she is using me but still has attraction towards me, however she senses that I'm vulnerable without my friends and continues to string me along , so here's the question:


(for those who thought the post is too long) What can I do, in layman's terms, to atleast sleep with her before I cut her out of my life? I feel that after all the crap she's put everyone through, both her and her boyfriend deserve it. I've never really had a girlfriend and I'm tired of being screwed over by fate every time, I want to make my own conclusion in these situations for once rather than leaving it up to good luck . Please help me P.U.A. Gods!

So you want to revenge bang her?

The goal is to get into a relationship I truly love this girl (but the love is waning the more I feel she may be trying to get one over on me), she's pretty much the female version of me (and she calls me the male version of her!). But if all else fails, atleast come away with some snatch I think that if I can get her into bed, knowing her moral code and what not, she'll fess up to her boyfriend and (if he has a spine) he'll leave her at worst.

Bump here's what I was thinking.

1)She texts me about once a week to see if I want to get lunch with her, I'm going to freeze her out and ignore her texts .

2)Wait for her to text me again with all the "omg i misss you plz talk to me" crap, then arrange to meet her for drinks.

3)Fuck her.

4) Eat a sandwich.

One of her concerns has been that we have never actually...gone out on an official date. Which is true, but only because she is never available. She told me she needs to get to know me better before she leaves everything she has for me, which is understandable, but if I do ask her out to get a drink with me on the weekends she either ignores the request or flakes.

Hmm... oneitis?

You gave her the ultimatum and she chose her boyfriend, so leave it. Don't mess up her relationship even if he is a douche. Two douches don't make a... non-douche... :S If she does come crawling back, hit her with the ultimatum again, you never know.

But definitely eat that sammich.

~Deebo

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You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

She pretty much said that she hasn't left him yet because she doesn't know me that well. It's true, and she said if she just let her "get to know me" Better she would most likely pick me.

Anyway I'm going to try to put her aside for the time being and if she wants me let her make the moves. I'm kind of getting depressed though without my friends and without any other girls in sight, nothing to do on the weekends, etc, so it's getting really hard NOT to think about her.