Respecting chiefs wish to not polute the newbie mission thread I am starting a new one to make this reply ...
Quote:
All I actually know is, I can't help this. I can't change it myself unless I want to go through extreme pain emotionally that will do more harm than good. Chief, do you know what it's like to be depressed? Do you know what it's like when you try and improve and everything knocks you back so you're worse off than you were before? Do you know what it's like to be well known for your appalling social skills? The last question does have a sort of irony to it, but still. My friends group know me as "the guy who never gets any girls". I don't wanna change my friend group, as has been suggested to me so many times. I don't want to go out without my friends either, because I wouldn't speak to anyone. Pickup has made my life considerably worse in a way. I love reading the material, it's so interesting, I just love it. And listening to or watching some people talk about it is just as good. I love it all. The Game is one of my favourite books ever, and I can re-read it so many times and it's still just as good. But, with pickup, I've ended up spending money on products I don't need, I've wasted so much time reading, listening, writing, and being on the forum chat. Learning about "approach anxiety" probably worsened my form of it. And now whenever I see a girl, I just think about picking her up. I've read so much, and can regurgitate a lot of it, but I never know what to say to the girls I see.
I think never has the well worn phrase "get a life" been more appropriate BUT I mean it quite literally rather than as the usual put down: my advice to you is to forget about PUA, and go and do some things with your life that will give you a sense of self worth, in no particular order -
* take up a team sport
* go to the gym
* study a martial art
* take up evening classes (anything from pottery to salza)
* go to college/university
* get a job that challenges and excites you or at least make a plan to get one (see previous point)
* do volunteer work for a charity that you believe in
* travel, if you cant afford to go international then just visit every "attraction" within reasonable distance
* take an interest in the wider world e.g. science, politics, religion, history, culture
Things that you should not be doing:
* reading PUA material
* playing any kind of nerdy games (D&D, warhammer etc)
* playing MMORGs on the computer (ideally give up all computer and video games)
* hanging around with your mates while they are with their girlfriends or picking up girls
Speaking as someone who was excruciatingly shy when I was young I would say that the best cure is through exposure to people with common interests where conversation is natural and "built-in". Eventually this will spill over into a general higher level of confidence and tolerance of meeting new people. Marching around forcing yourself to cold approach people PUA style is going to do you more harm than good IMO. Also you need to stop measuring your sense of self worth by your ability to get girls, but of course you can only do that if you have some genuinely worth while things in your life to devote some time and energy to (hence the first list).
Really ... delete this site and anything similar from your bookmarks ... comeback in a year, or two, or three ...
(S)
CHAT