Help Me To Not Become Just a Friend!



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:37 pm 
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So I am in college, and living there for the summer. I made friends with these two guys who are my neighbors, and we chill pretty much every day. Recently, a friend of theres hb8, has started hanging out with us pretty regularly, whether it is just to watch tv or drinking. On top of being attractive, she is quite smart, and has a good personality, so yeah, i suppose I'm a little smitten. I feel like I have detected a little tension between us at times, but I can't be sure. Feel like I have gotten some IOI's, but i think they also might be kind of false just based on her personality.

I feel uncomfortable just asking her out, because if I am rejected it will make hanging out with everyone weird for the remainder of summer. Any suggestions on how to not enter the friend zone, so that I might ask this girl out, either during the summer or perhaps after we know each other a little better during the school year?


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:46 pm 
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um sorry to break it to you.. but it seems like you are already in the friends zone. You hang out together already and if you have even attracted her yet then you are already put in the friend zone. The IoIs might have been there in the begining but now she to comfortable with you. She can be attracted to you but then she would of gave you plenty of IoI's by now.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 4:20 pm 
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You can ask her out without being afraid of rejection. Just talk to her when you're out with your friends. You should find things about her and tell her you like them (but don't overdo it - you just need to support your interest in her with some reason). This way if you ask her out she will know that you're not doing this just because of her appearance but also because you know her as a person so most likely she'll agree (if she doesn't - it's no big deal because it's not a "date"). Tell her that you just want to hang out or do something that you both like. And once you go out you can increase the sexual tension and then it's on.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 4:36 pm 
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Ah, this looks like a case of being in stuck in a friend-zone yes.
But don't be too afraid. It is possible to get out of it.

What you need is an ice-breaker. But what is this? An ice-breaker is a move that takes you back to square one, loosing all attraction, but also all comfort. In other words you start with blank pages.

There are three ways to execute an ice-breaker:

1) Slowly starting to tease her and kino-escalate. This is a very time-consuming process, but instead of removing the comfort it just helps with building attraction.

2) Tell her you like her, or do a very flirtatious thing. What this signals to her is exactly that you like her, and will instantly remove most of the comfort built. There is a big risk of loosing contact with a girl doing this though.

3) This is probably the most favorable approach. Change your lifestyle. If you want her to be interested you need need to give her a reason for it. In other words, you need to show of a lot of social value. If you start hanging out with a lot of beautiful girls she will catch up to it and probably try to figure out why. And there you got a real opportunity to show who you are by DHV'ing, and possibly make her attraction spark for you.

Remember though, there is a risk in doing this and it is not granted to succeed. In most cases it is better to just move on, but I hope this helps if you really want to see how far you can get.

- Exerio


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 6:36 pm 
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Lol I'm a bit worried about the poster above me... It's a bloody person and an interaction we're talking about... not a video game. :)

Though he's rigt on some aspects.. you have to escalate sexually. More kinos, more teasing, tell her that you think she's very hot and sexy... You're a bloody man with dick, show it to her.

Women respond to the feelings you're giving her. Make her laugh, lead the convo to a more sexual level.. you get the picture.. GL man :)


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 6:50 pm 
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Thanks for all the advice so far, and I definitely welcome more.

I was talking to my neighbors who she hangs out with about going to a concert on friday and neither of them can go, since this girl is into indie music, i figure I'll see if she wants to come with, if I can get her to come to the concert with me, then I will try to escalate there since we would be alone.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 9:41 am 
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The concert could be a good or bad idea. If she agrees to go i would do my best to make sure it isnt on a just as friends basis. There are usually alot of other people at concerts so you wont be alone really. Id start out kinda playful and maybe get into some push pull to help bring up the connection between the two of you. Maybe even after she agrees to go with you, if she does, half jokingly say "Ok , its a date." And see how she responds. If she responds negative then you can just say you were having fun. but who knows she might take you seriously. Then see how she acts when you do go.

Skankin


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 5:35 pm 
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So I sent her a message more or less telling her she will be coming (in a CF way, and only a message cause i lack her #). I will throw out an update if I get a response, I got CF/ Push pull down pretty well, but she is a bit of a tomboy at times so I adjust my game to work, if she says shes coming, i have a lot of confidence I can build some attraction and at least k-close, but first she has to say yes, so ill fill you guys in soon, thanks!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 5:55 pm 
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I got alot of girls as friends. I keep flirting with some of them though because I might want them later.

So what I'm trying to say is, just go flirt with her. It won't be weird. When she wears something new, just say "Wow you look good with that pink shirt".
In a way like you're just pointing that out.

Next to that, be alpha :)




btw, you got to be the exception to the rule. So if your friends dont flirt with her, you do. If they do, you neg her. :)


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 6:28 pm 
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Quote:
Lol I'm a bit worried about the poster above me... It's a bloody person and an interaction we're talking about... not a video game. :)

Though he's rigt on some aspects.. you have to escalate sexually. More kinos, more teasing, tell her that you think she's very hot and sexy... You're a bloody man with dick, show it to her.

Women respond to the feelings you're giving her. Make her laugh, lead the convo to a more sexual level.. you get the picture.. GL man :)
Haha, this made my day! You are absolutely right, it sounds like a video game, but in a way it actually is. If you look at my advices I usually give examples on what to do based on how I would do it. And as for a video-game, it is your brain that creates that example. Look behind the examples and rather on my line of thinking and it will give a more appropriate example.

- Cheers Exerio!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 6:42 pm 
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keeps us posted . Let us know what happends

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 11:07 pm 
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UPDATE::
So here is what went down:

Me: Hey, have you ever heard of The Blind Pig? I am going there Friday night because it looks like a good show, but I am having a hard time finding someone to go with. So if you don’t have anything going on already, you should just plan on coming with. In fact, even if you do have plans, you should just cancel them...

Her: i'm leaving my for my cottage tomorrow for "girls weekend".. yes, erotic sounding, i know. BUT if i did have plans in ann arbor i would def cancel them to go
what are you doing tonight?

Me: Not much, especially with the crappy weather and all. Perhaps I'll go across the street and we will watch some Dexter without you.
-----------------------------------------
Shitty I know, but promising. The only negative is its raining and there isnt shit to do tonight where I can be alone with her, and not my neighbors. I will settle for watching some Dexter (I got her hooked on this show, so i know shell come over) with her and the two guys across the street (who i met her through, and she is not interested in)

So what do you guys think? I think I am still on the margin between ljbf and not, looks like I just need to try and capitalize on future opportunities...


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:27 am 
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If your already hanging out with her all the time, I wouldnt risk
asking her out or it could get weird. Most hot girls though have
hot friends so I would get her to hook you up


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:41 am 
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Thanks for the opinion myth, but the only problem is that I'm not just looking to get laid. I actually am quite attracted to this girl on more levels than just physical, so I don't think I can just let it go like that...


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:34 am 
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I think you messed up I think you should of got to know her and flirt/made her laughed and put a slight kino on her, before you asked her out ... you just asking her out like that makes it seem wierd like .... yea, i didn't know that guy was interested in me ... I am sorry to say its kind of ruined now ... but I guess it still worth a try ... 8)


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