More Than a Friend Possibly. What to do?



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 4:29 am 
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So the other day I go to my friend's birthday party. It turns out she just broke up with her long distance boyfriend of 2 years. The next day I meet her and her friends at a restaurant and hang out a bit. That night she texts me "goodnight cutie" Then we all go to the zoo the next day, and she's flirting with me all crazy. Later that day I'm at her house watching a movie, and things start happening. The next day (today) I call her and talk for a bit blah blah, and ask if she wants to go bowling Friday, only to hear that she hates bowling. I ask if she wants to do anything else. She says that she works until 7, (Which I don't really see being a problem since we usually hang out late anyways) and says that she will call me tomorrow and tell me if we can do anything.

I don't know if that whole Friday thing would be an excuse, or if I'm looking too much into it. But then during the conversation, I was teasing her by telling her that she was weird and stuff, and she was doing that cute girl voice sort of thing. I don't know what to think.

Most importantly, what I'm concerned with is 2 things. One being that she just broke up with her boyfriend, so what If I'm the rebound. The other is, if I were to date her, I would have to put my game on hold. (Still have lots of AA) I've known this girl for years, and I can't do that to her. I actually wouldn't mind dating her. I would get these little crushes from time to time.

So right now I'm in that uncomfortable wait before her call.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 6:30 am 
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you can still make approaches whilst in a relationship. if anything, the more girls you know, the more the girl you like will be attracted to you..

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 2:35 pm 
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Sounds like you're the replacement to the old boyfriend. I say have fun with it, but don't get tangled up in a relationship. You'll be in for all sorts of trouble if you do. :wink:

~Antithesis


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 2:49 pm 
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Damaged Goods. She has just come out of a 2 year relationship she just wants the attention and comfort from a friend (tampon) or a rebound guy and you really don't want to be either.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 6:26 pm 
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That's what I was afraid of. I just thought that since it was a long distance thing (They visited each other here and there) I see it as not being a real relationship, so the rules might be different. but then again, that could just be me being more hopeful than reality. If it makes any difference, she broke up with him. But then she said to her friend (while I was present) (before any of the flirting even started) something about not going to the college she was looking at, because if she sees him there, she'll be really angry, especially if he's with another girl. Which I replied with "Well if your broken up, then he can see anyone he wants now, just as you can do the same" Which she replied saying something along the lines of "if you knew the story and what happened you would understand". then head pointing toward her friend she said "(friend) knows" Which the friend said "oh yeah" and gave a kind of nod. So I thought there might be a legit reason for her to be mad at him for seeing a girl.

I really don't know.

I just don't want to get myself in a mess of drama, yet I don't want to miss out on a good thing.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 8:42 pm 
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not going to the college she was looking at, because if she sees him there, she'll be really angry, especially if he's with another girl. Which I replied with "Well if your broken up, then he can see anyone he wants now, just as you can do the same" Which she replied saying something along the lines of "if you knew the story and what happened you would understand".
You have lots of common sense by the sounds of things and I know you will make the right decision after reading the above, but just in case you have not picked up the signs.

SHE IS NOT OVER HER EX (I would go as far as to imagine him being older also).

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Last edited by Workaholic on Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 10:41 pm 
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She was actually planing on moving in with him, she said that ruins her plans of having a place to stay, because she wouldn't be paying rent. But Again, she shouldn't be mad at him for being with another girl. And yes, he is older. How did you know? One fun fact, he actually has the same name as me, just spelled different, which I find to be rather interesting.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:14 pm 
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And yes, he is older. How did you know?.
When you play the game and understand how things work, things slow down.

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"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!"--Copy store clerk (Jerry Maguire)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 8:03 am 
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I don't understand.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 1:42 pm 
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I don't understand.

When you have experienced so many situations through yourself and your best friends lifes , everything becomes quite predicatable as you can read the signs a mile off.

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"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!"--Copy store clerk (Jerry Maguire)


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:25 am 
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Alright guys! I went over to her house to talk to her. I told her that I had fun the other day, and really enjoyed everything, however this isn't the right time. She was relieved because that's how she felt as well, and was going to tell me the same thing. Then we agreed that maybe something can happen later, but just not now. I also found out that she has liked me for a while, but didn't show any interest because she had a boyfriend. Then I said "But you gotta admit, we'd make a pretty cute couple. I mean, we're both into allot of the same things, yet we still have our differences, which make it fun!" She agreed. Then we made fun of each other because we each thought the other one wanted a relationship when we both didn't. Then I asked her about why they broke up, blah blah blah. Then we just talked about normal stuff like how we usually do.

We basically acted like normal friends during this whole interaction (Except for the inevitable smiles when saying that we had fun the other day and such)

I was wondering if I can still hang out with her, or If we should stay away from each other for a little while. We both acted normal that day, and I'm pretty sure we would do the same if we hang out. But of course we both know what happened.



(This whole situation just filled me with confidence!)


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 6:38 am 
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Also, about how long would be reasonable to wait before my friend and I can maybe start dating? Not that I'll be looking forward to it, but more so if the situation presents itself, we don't jump in too soon. I still plan on working on my game, and getting good with women now.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 4:37 am 
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Anyone?


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 5:14 am 
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hey buddy, i happend to be the rebound guy a while a go, and its not kwl at all..

now, me nd this girl (my ex) were friends for 2 years and then we dated and to make a long story short we fought alot and afta a while she askd me back and then according to her stuff was going 2 fast and i did the most wrong thing for the situation.. i ignored her and, well now we arnt as gud friends anymore..

to be honest almost not at all, so do urself the favour of keeping contact with that lil flirting in between bt keep it subtile.. but NEVER ignore


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 5:45 am 
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I'm sorry, but I don't understand.


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