Approach Anxiety



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 Post subject: Approach Anxiety
PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 3:43 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:33 pm
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I went out to a Club/Bar yesterday for my friends birthday and after watching people working their game and reading about picking up, I was pretty confident that nothing would be able to put me down. Around 8-9 pm before I left I started feeling nervous which was not a good thing, I told myself that this is nothing and it is normal so I went anyway. As I got there, I literally froze up. I knew a LOT of people there and I am not necessarily the most comfortable when around them, thus I did not open 1 set and had a lot of LHV moments walking aroudn the bar looking lost.

Does anyone know ways to get rid of this? I think it is pretty much impossible to get rid of it but like Mystery said in the pickup artist, you need to learn how to control it. Any pointers? Ima try the newbie mission soon I think that should help me out


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 5:57 pm 
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No doubt I'm one of the very least qualified around here to offer you advice, but I have similar paralysis in those sort of situations, so I plan to concentrate on day game for now, as being away from pressure-cooker environments like clubs is much less intimidating to me. Chatting to women in the park, in shops, or maybe even just the till girls are excellent places to test out stuff, and seeing what the result is.

Also, if I'm in a club, I likely have a bunch of friends in tow who, in the spirit of being male and up for a laugh, would delight in me falling flat on my face when trying to pull. The bastards :D

I don't know how much experience in the field that you have, but starting small is the way to go, in my opinion.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 8:23 pm 
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Personally its all about getting in a happy state before leaving the flat.
I watch comedies or standup before going out, i can then "borrow" material that i just saw and also im already having fun.
Also i find that using an opener where you care about the answer helps, i mean this is the chance to find out stuff!
it encourages you to ask as you genuinely want to know what they think.

hope that helps and all the best mr glide


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 8:45 pm 
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Website: http://www.myspace.com/bboy_4_life
Location: Seattle, WA
I feel you on this one. I do break the 3 second rule when I do this, but it helps tremendously of ridding yourself of the shakes. Go somewhere where the set doesn't see you and just take a moment to relax yourself and mentally push the anxiety out of your body, almost like a form of meditation. When I do this, I feel unusually calm, the pressure that built in my chest from the anxiety before is alleviated and it makes the approach very smooth since you're not stammering or blurting out your opener like an AFC. Also a big helper is the opener you pick. Of course you need to pick an opener that's right for the set...but even more importantly you need to pick an opener that's right for you too. Don't sell yourself short trying to deliver an opener you are not comfortable with because it will cause you to 2nd guess your own approach and bam, the anxiety is back.


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