That's pretty good. The story is a DHV and a neg on her as a model at the same time. Personally I feel the term "model" is used a little too loosely by guys just looking for a flattering compliment to give a girl. Most attractive women have heard it many times, so it may come off as cliche'. If you combine it with something else to make it more specific it might transition a little smoother, "Are you an import model?" or "Are you a makeup model?" or if you want to escalate sexual tension early "are you a lingerie model?"
~Antithesis