So I've been seeing this girl for 3-4 months now. I was the first guy she was ever with, first guy she kissed, but it always seemed like she had this little doubt in the back of her mind. Apparently she didn't, but her body language always showed something completely different. I don't know what it was.

I was getting fed up with a little, calmly talked to her about it, she tells me how much she likes me and no one has ever treated her this good.

I asked her if I could call her my girlfriend, she said she didn't like that word, and I left it at that.

A few days ago she tells me how her parents don't like me. I've never met them! But she named off all the reason they wouldn't like me. Mostly reasons about my car. "it's too low, it's too loud, and doesn't like the bumper sticker" [bumper sticker: no fat chicks, car will scrape] and that I'm not in school.

I came back with that I just traveled the world, and got into affiliate marketing which funded the entire thing. That shut her up, and then I raised my car, and took the sticker off, and put the stock exhaust on. and enrolled in summer school. She got mad and said 'it's not like we're married'

These were all things I was going to do anyways, since the day after she complained some girl keyed my car, then i got a loud exhaust ticket, and I raised the car because I was scrapping.

But apparently she's in love with me, and everything about me.

Fast forward to last night, I invite her over, she can't come she's sick, well I'm still going to have fun, drink, party, have friends over. This girl is all over me all night, and since the girl i'm seeing wouldn't be ready to have sex for another 3 months I thought, if I can get laid, fuck it. Well she text me "can I come over" the idiot that i am, says sure. well this girl that was all over me decides to make a move, I carry her to my bed, and foreplay and then i hear the girl i've been seeing for 3-4 months and I ask the girl im in bed with, are we going to have sex. She said she doesn't do that.

FUCKKK

I run out of my room, leave the girl naked on the bed, and tell the other girl we have to leave. We go outside, she doesn't know what is going on, but assumes there was a girl in there. She leaves in almost tears.

I tell her that we're not in a relationship, I've asked and you said no, she tells me she wanted to

she tells me everything she loves about me, she thought i was the one, after all day of exchanging text she tells me it's best if i just vanish for awhile.

Now I'm thinking this is not the best thing, it will give her time to get over me, and that's why she wants me to vanish. What I did was an asshole move, knowing that she was coming over, and that's what i feel really bad about.

I don't know how to fix this, i'm just surprised she is still talking to me.

Insight puas?

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so after she says she wants me to vanish, i tell her im sorry, i will look forward to her call when she wants me to reappear. She sends me a text telling me how she will never be good enough for me, i tell her she is. and she sends something cute and says night mister.

like she wants me to show her why she should be with me. Like in the movies. She wants something so extravagant, like taking her to a ball.

So i need ideas

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Maybe you should just talk to her in person and just tell her how you feel and explain that you really care for her. There's no use in playing games now, I would suggest to just be honoust , she'll appreciate it. This girl is not experienced in relationships so she wants it to be good. She wants to be sure that she's with somebody that really cares for her if she will commit.

If you really want to do something you can maybe write a poem or stuff like that stating how you feel about her (you can make it funny too). Make it good and she'll melt. Tell her you could have taken her somewhere or bought something but that it doesn't prove how you feel and you prefer being honoust.

well she told me she wants me to vanish, that she's too good for me, what I did was morally wrong

god i miss her.

She said she wants to thank me for all i've done for her and that ill always have a place in her heart.

option 1: give her space, try talking to her in a week

option 2: change my number, delete her from my facebook, and really vanish

option 3: try and find another girl like her, and realize that being faithful is the most important thing.

I'm meeting with a relationship therapist on monday, because I'm really at a lose what to do.

_________________
http://www.pickupreport.com/

Blogs and summaries of everything I have learned and field tested.

here's a lesson you'll enjoy for life.

Stop asking, start taking.

be a man.


But on the situation on hand I'll tell you the following.

You weren't in a relationship thus the girl has no right of condemning your actions. She should learn to speak her mind and you need to learn to stop saying sorry whenever it's not appropriate.
What you did was completely legal according to the rules of relationships in general. If she wants you back she'll contact you.

before I say anything, I admit I am totally AFC.

However, If there is anything I have learned from PU, its that women are emotional creatures. Sure, logically, you did nothing wrong, but in her mind logic doesnt mean squat.

The other thing ive learned is that to get someone, you must be totally ready and willing to lose them. Stop bending over backwards for her. You are clearly a desirable guy, she should be working for your affections. You can do all those nice things, but do it because it pleases you. Dont do it because you are afraid of losing her. You are a commodity! your time and affections are precious and scarce! Girls cant stand a needy guy. im not saying you are needy, I dont know you, but be cautious.

I dont mean to sound shallow, because I almost feel like women WANT that kind of guy. they want that confidence, that strength, and to know that you are wanted by other women, etc. Maybe someone with more experience can back me up on this (or shoot me down if im wrong).

GL!

I would only like to say that you must be willing to lose her to win her.

Why did you not remain congruent to yourself and change all these things the second she mentions them?

Just because she says she doesn't want to have sex doesn't mean you should run off.
You can still hook up, infact, I'm willing to bet her saying that was a congruency test to see if you treated her the way you did for sex or because you really enjoyed her company. Sex is not the end all, and the way you handled this LMR really shows you have some work to do as a person.

Some word of advice:

Start having fun with women, enjoy the interactions even if it means no sex.
(Think with your head, not your dick)
Chances are if you agreed, and still stayed with her, she would've fucked you. It was a congruency test with LMR because of her ASD.

Be a man about shit.

In order to find the right girl and to hold on to her, you have to go through all of girls.

Let go of all negative threads in your life.

Work on your inner game basically.


Your errors come from a lack of the things I listed above. But other than that, keep going, you'll get it one day.

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I'm addicted to facing my fears.

Turn it around buddy.

I think I have done something similar before. I cheated on a girl i was dating for 3 weeks, I was stupid enought to tell her and broke her heart in the end I however ended up having a relationship for 6 years with her.

This is what happens. As soon as your girl found out about the other girl. The ball and all the responsibility was on her side. Now she has to deal with the problem.
Trust me. It´s better to be in your shoes then hers.

So you turn it around. Meet her. Tell her you fucked up. Tell her you will understand if she will let it go and you are ready to accept it, but tell her she is very important to you and thus you want to give it another shot.

See, don´t ask for permissions to start over, don´t be needy.....but let her know she is the queen and that she is important. Show her you are the man. Show her you love her, but you are able to pay the price for your failure.

And buy some god damm flowers.

OH, And make sure it is not just your ego now. Make sure you really want her and are in love with her. Make sure you will not dump her in a month.

Yeah I think changing everything after she mentions it shows you are all too willing to bend around what she wants. You need to keep the frame of you. I know you said you wanted to do these things anyways, but it was just bad timing that didn't help your cause because it still looks to her like you did it because of her. You do certain things on your own watch, nobody else's.

I am also going to agree that it may have been a test. Maybe in her mind she was bent on not having sex anymore, but if you would have stuck with her and showed respect for her decision, she may have changed her mind.

Just give her space right now; you both have a lot to take in. If she really "has a place in her heart" for you, she may end up contacting you eventually. Time is a great healer.

So I ended up changing my phone number, the day i got a new number she called 10 times and texted 4, but I never recieved them. I told her the next day I got a new phone because I had this funny feeling she was going to try and contact me.

She told me she tried contacting me, and started crying. I got her a bear, wrote a note stating I was sorry that I hurt her.

She wrote me a letter in return scented with her perfume. TRICKY!

She wanted a reaction to the note, I wasn't ready to read it, she got upset. I read it, and lost control. I realized what I lost. Went out tried to have fun, had a near overdose..

This is something you never want to tell anyone, but I was at the end of the rope, and just gave up.

a week passes, I don't contact her, I asked if she'll join me for lunch, she declines in a very self righteous way, I ask what day is she free. we decide on thursday. I knew she was going to flake, but I also knew she wanted to see me. She sends me a text she can't for lunch, but maybe after dinner.

FINE we meet up, she gives me a huge hug, no kiss. We sit and talk, she gets pretty upset, almost to the point of crying. I told her why I did what I did, and I take full responsibility for my actions, and if I could do it over again I wouldn't have done what I did.

We talked a little more, she had a huge smile on her face, then I told her I should leave, and maybe we can meet next week. She shook her head no, and told me we could meet once a month. I laughed and got ready to leave. She told me she was house sitting and how it was scary at night, she just got in a fight with her two best friends for seeing me blah blah...

Oh darling I know you too well, I told her I'll go to the house with her. We get to the house it's 12am I make some food, we watch tv like we would before, just no cuddling, or kissing. It's 1am now I ask her if she wants me to leave. She ask me if i want to leave.

I stay because i know it makes her happy, we fall asleep on the couch wake up early, walk the dogs and I go home. No talk of a future meeting.

its 11pm the next night, I send her a message hi. she text me back tells me about her day, work, and say's "night lover"

So I'm back at the attraction stage , I suppose i have to build more comfort.

Wish me luck guys, its going to be a rough road, since not only will her parents hate me, so will her friends, and family.

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Blogs and summaries of everything I have learned and field tested.

You BOTH need to decide if you are in a relationship or not. You act committed without actually being together. Seriously, YOU need to lay it on the line and give her an ultimatum (for your own well being). The main reason being is because she is calling all the shots and leading you around like a puppy. You are apologizing when you did nothing wrong and changing yourself to fit her mold. She has you hooked whether or not you actually want to believe it. If you want a relationship then ask again. If she says "no" then tell her you can be friends and that you are going to date other people (and actually do what you say) If she truly likes you she'll come around. If not her loss.

As someone said above you have to be willing to lose her to win her. I believe this to be true.

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"To Give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift" -Prefontaine

Not a PUA just a girl offering my opinions/advice

when you give someone an ulitmateum, this proves you have lost control over the situation.


Has anyone ever given you an ulitmateum? How did you feel? You resented this person, she has proven she has strong feelings for me. I'm not worried about her finding a guy better than me. And she knows this.

The way she was raised, and in her eyes I cheated, I can't change her mind about that, she is going to have to find out for herself, her lack of experience also play a factor.

And the fact she told her parents everything, and they think I'm a cheater. I spelled it out pretty clear to her though, I said if you're going to go around telling people I'm a cheater, I'm going to go around and call you my ex-gf.

What I did was rude, and when I make a mistake I apoligize.

She is slowly coming back to me. I have never followed the mystery method. I just can tell by body language she is attracted to me. The next step is rebuilding her trust which can also be stated as: comfort or rapport.

_________________
http://www.pickupreport.com/

Blogs and summaries of everything I have learned and field tested.

I agree, if the girl starts to behave childish, I will aswell. (ofc im way better in being childish)


BUT DON'T FREAKING APOLOGIZE.


c'mon man, I don't know why you want to go through all that drama but I certainly would not

You have already lost control.

The only reason I said it is because her behavior is putting you through hell. Sometimes you need to do it for yourself.

_________________
"To Give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift" -Prefontaine

Not a PUA just a girl offering my opinions/advice

omg you shouldnt be putting up with all these drama..