So ya, I go out with one of my buddies a lot. Him and I are really good friends, but I have seen a disturbing trend with him and I. He is a good looking guy, but can't seem to approach girls. I do all the opening and then I hook a girl. I make my intentions known, and then he comes in and starts flirting heavily with the girl that I am interested in. It's like his conversation with the other girls dies so he comes to talk to me and the girl since there is comfort there. I will often times pull the girls number, then he will go behind my back to get the same girls digits. They seem fine with it because there is a presumed comfort there.

Best example I can give. I told him I wanted to go to the mall one day because there is this girl I was into that works at a store and I wanted to score her math. I got her number. Because she worked really close to where he lives, we invite her and her friend back to his place after work. Well, her friend didn't show, just her. We sit around getting hammered. I made my intentions that I was into this girl very clear. She is flirtatious as hell with both him and I. I have a 45 minute drive back to my place, so I take off and she crashes on his sofa....

I'm gone and he is talking me up, saying I am an awesome guy and that I am really into her (which is a great amog move btw) and then they hook up. No fucking, just made out a bit. I kinda had a feeling they did, but whatev... The girl is not the point. Over the next few weeks she texts me all the time, wants to hang out etc. etc... Seems more on a friend level, but she is always very vague and flirty with me, because she knows that I am into her. She is only 20 and slept with 1 guy, her ex, so she says. I believe that.

I asked him if anything happened, he said no. She ends up spilling the beans the other night, and it pissed me off. Now the thing that pisses me off is the lack of respect my friend has for me. I feel very manipulated by both him and her. It's rather annoying.

The female is not the issue, it's my friends lack of respect for presumed boundaries.

How should I confront him? The girl doesn't want me to say anything about him and her. I also have a feeling he told her not to say anything. She is not important since I am moving soon, but I have had this ache in the pit of my stomach because I feel my friend has consistently violated our friendship. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but I know I need to let these feelings go. The best way to do that is confront him.

This has happened on 4 or 5 different occasions, but with this girl I actually had a small crush on.

Ideas?

CK

_________________
success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

Don't take him out when picking up women, is a good first move. 2nd just straight up say to him at various points this girl is mine. If he still screws you over get a better friend

I can see that. He is one of my boys though... If he's out and about, I am. We're good friends, but it's like if there is a cute female around he has to have her attention. It happened at the pool this weekend. I got this girls number, started talking to her friend, he grabs the girl who's number I got then got hers. She wasn't that cute, but its all about the principle.

I am going to have to think on this for a while.... thanks for the input.

CK

_________________
success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

Your friend is obviously not a friend you can be open around and hence not someone you should be doing pickup with. If he's a good friend then you should just be able to say to him "What the fuck are you doing, if I am obviously interested in a girl, don't talk to her". If you're not on that level with him just don't bring him out or don't be his friend.

_________________
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

First off, I want to congratulate you on ending your post differently than others. I was expecting you to go into how hung up you are on her and how "she's the one". The gold medal goes to you for realizing there are many other girls out there

Anyways, I would agree with Jaybot on not taking him out to pickup girls anymore. You shouldn't let him be a parasite and feed off of your work. If you made it clear she was your target and he intentionally tries to pull her or does, he isn't respecting you at all. I'm glad you realized he is to blame and not her.

I would confront him about it one on one. Next time you see him just pull him aside and be straight up. Tell him that as a bro it's not cool what he does. If he understands and agrees to back off when you make your intentions clear, good. If not, I would suggest just leaving him behind when sarging.

Your friend is a GIRL!!!!

There is a saying that I have seen coming true at least 10 times:
When 2 girls are interested in one guy, no matter whether they are best friends, they will go for him and play dirty just to get him. Friendship goes aside.

When 2 men(friends) want one girl, they are always able to struck a deal. They understand that their friendship is way more important than that one girl. And that there are millions of fish in the sea.

If your friend doesn´t get that, you better send your gf shopping with him
And you stay a man!

I appreciate all the words fellas.

Yeah Hobbers... It's amazing how things can change.

Ya know, he is one of my best friends that I have right now. He is a good guy, but when it comes to women, it's like he is oblivious to his surroundings. I didn't appreciate him telling her I was into her. At that point it gave her all the power and she knew that she could always get my attention anytime she wanted. She would flirt and lead me on, but then shut the door to any advances...

She is a fickle creature. She is still not over her ex. So she talks about him all the time, and I end up giving too much relationship advice. It gets annoying. I didn't know she knew I was into her. She seems pretty oblivious to these things. She is a beautiful girl. She just acts kinda young, is a bit to arrogant and immature than what I would normally be into. I just am really attracted to cute petite brunettes.

Anyway, I am moving next week and just wanted to get drunk with her and hook up before I move.

I really don't want to leave while holding a grudge against my friend. She doesn't want me to tell him I know. If I do, that would probably slam the door on her and I hooking up. I am going to have 3 times the options when I move back home.

CK

_________________
success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.