What's the best way to learn and practice shit-talking? I've never been a shit-talker. When somebody insults me or heckles me in any way, I tend to shut down. I got nothin'. I'm not quick minded enough to come up with anything good on the spot. I'm working on that, though. What can I do to remedy this obvious weakness?

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Omeo

You are remaining unaffected and replying with something simple (look up any amog thread). Another reason if you aren't quick witted and try to comeback you will fail and look worse.

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Troll the trolls
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No offense but you dont know to tell them to go fuck themselves or to fuck off, amongst other simple, mean, yet effective things?

I've always taken to the idea that if you get heated or pissed, you are only fueling their fire. It does nothing but encourage them to keep harassing you because they see it is getting to you aka mission accomplished. If you just remain collective and show that you really just don't give a shit what they think they will get the point and stop because they are wasting their breath. It makes them look like the immature one. Also you could use some simple lines like "So if you're going to keep hitting on me, at least by me a drink!" and give a smirk.

However, there are lines that can be crossed, so I'm not saying to sit there and get beat on. You just have to decide when it is appropriate or not to get upset or more aggressive.