whaddup guys this is my first post but I've been reading here for a while... this is guna be a short book but bear with me. really could use the help... I mistreated a girl and I honestly never want that to happen again.

Alright, so me and this girl hooked up about a month and a half ago at a party and pretty much clicked ever since. I've kinda been going by adams lyons method to attraction [(comfort - rapport) + qualification + sexual escalation = attraction) and i gotta say i think it worked really well.

We texted all the time... probably part of my problem but yeah, easily everyday. Things we're good though alot of time building comfort than teasing and flirting, the chemistry was there. One weeked i threw a party at my house and her and some friends came, honestly everyone was kissing everyone, but she ended up in bed with me. No sex, but we cuddled, kissed, slept you know it felt like I was with a girl I could see myself dating. So the next night we go out to go to the mall, go to dinner, then for ice cream, hugging and kissing in public, and i would tease her and what not to make her qualify herself here and there. Then that week we honestly hung out everyday she was on break from school and at the end of the week after we went to the mall and stuff again she freaks. shes like "things are moving so fast and i just got out of a serious relationship and i'm not ready for another one." So i played it cool i was like "yeah thats straight, i mean i want a relationship but i'm not gunna force it and we can slow things down" and she was cool with that. So over the next couple of weeks we're hanging out occasionally not every day but almost everyday, and we're talking ALL the time. I honestly felt like i was in a relationship. So one night at her friends party we're in bed together and I asked her why she didnt want to make things official. And apparently she thinks i have a reputation with hooking up with alot of girls from the area which i guess i kinda do. and its summer and she doesnt want a relationship. So again i play it cool like w.e yeah i hear that but in the back of my head im like damn this sucks.

So shit keeps going as is for a while us hooking up and being chill. and eventually the relationship thing comes up again... and this time shit goes downhilllll... idk why but I just pushed the issue and i was like "why arent we dating yet" and shes just like "You're going to college in the fall, I dont want to be upset when you go away, blah blah, I want to have fun this summer, I want you to have fun, I dont feel like i can make you happy" so this time I was like "if you cant make me happy then why are we talking" and she kinda gets upset shes like "because we're friends and i really like you i just dont think now is the time for us" so i'm just like "okay leave me alone" and she gets real upset... so the next day i apoligize. and shes like "i dont think we sould hook up anymore, it just causes problems for us" and i pretended to be okay with that which later lead to more problems...

After that I ended up saying something i completely didnt mean. Which was that i just wanted to get her in a relationship so we could have sex, i totally didnt mean this and i know it was a fucked up thing to say. But now she basically hates me. I was pissed at myself for ruining what we had, idk why i couldnt just accept it and like be with other girls because thats usually how I am, I guess you could say i had a real bad case of oneitis. SO i ended up apoligizing and told her how i really felt about everything (was this a mistake?) and left it alone for about a week because she really didnt want anything to do with me. and today I shot her a text and asked how she was doing... the convo went like this...

Me: hey, how are you feeling?
Her: I asked you not to talk to me until i was ready to talk to you and i would appreciate it if you respected that.
Me: I don't understand what not talking is going to do besides make you think about how much of an assole I am, you know I'm sorry.
Her: well its my decision to make.
Me: Ok I realize that, but why can't we just put everything behind us clearly we werent on the same page from the start.
Her: Because you were an asshole to me. And I'm really happy in my life right now and I dont want to put myself in a situation that might change that.
Me: No, I'm glad youre happy i want you to be happy. I hate that I upset you. I feel like all of our fights could of been avoided if I told you how i felt from the begining. But part of the problem was I didnt know exactly what I wanted.
Her: Please (my name), I dont have the energy to deal with this right now.
Me: i'm really sorry (her name) I would hate to lose a good friend because of some stupid things i said when i was mad i really wish you wouldnt hold it against me cause thats not the type of person i am or want to be at all.

and thats it.....

my question is where do i go from here... honestly I'm over the fact that we're not going to be together but we really clicked well as friends and it bugs me that i fucked that up... How would you guys handle this situation? Feel free to bitch at me all you want I know I'm stupid.

Ok man it seems you got a little frustrated. Give a girl a few months to get over her last boyfriend before you even think about dating her. I would never ask a girl "why aren't we dating yet..." Who gives a shit about this girl, if she doesn't wanna date you then find a girl who does.

Get over the "She's so perfect for me" frame of mind and replace it with the "I don't give a shit about this girl frame of mind". You don't give a shit because you have more options (and if you don't than that's your problem).

You also went wrong when you texted her after she told you not to. You should have waited because you were the one that screwed up in the first place. I can't possibly think of a worse thing to say to a girl than "i just wanted to get her in a relationship so we could have sex".

Telling her how you feel after screwing things up is a waste of time and YES it was a mistake. You are already an arsehole in her opinion, telling her how you feel is not going to change anything. It's going to make her think he's just trying to get in my pants.

Just move on man.

thanks for the advice bro, this has just been buggin me for a while needed to get it off my chest. I felt myself getting too attached from the begining. How do you stop that from happening? Like I want to be over it and I know I can get plenty of other girls right now but it doesnt stop the fact that shes still in the back of my mind.

the reason why you still have her in the back of your mind is probably because you haven't chilled with other girls after your incident with her.. go out and have fun.. move on...

the thing about this is.. you already let her know how you felt.. you pass the ball to her court.. it's up to her if she wants to play! respect that! start having fun with your social circle.. and other girls for that matter.. then slowly, you will forget about her..

now getting too attached from the beginning.. sometimes is inevitable.. i mean you get comfortable.. feels like she's connecting with you in every aspect of your life.. and she's the type of woman you could see in your future.. blah blah blah! you need to control the situation! you are a man! you are in control! work on this first..

Yeah I hear that, Letting her know I wanted a relationship put her in control didnt it? The fact that she knew she could have me probably killed the attraction we had even if we liked eachother. And the thing is I knew that and I think thats what led to my frusturation, it's almost like I turned into an asshole to avoid sounding needy but then the neediness just came right back out.... The annoying part is I've been seeing other girls the entire time, but I think since this girl didnt want a relationship thats why she was the one I wanted most.