So About 3 weeks ago, I picked up a "10" stripper at the club. Blonde hair, green eyes, butt implants and a fake DD rack. She was smoking. We exchanged numbers and she asked me to call her to go out at some point.

We started talking regularly on the phone. She was sending me text messages every day. She asked for my pic and I sent it to her. We made plans to get together the second week. Needless to say, I was stoked.

I took vacation days from work on Thursday and Friday of that week and made plans to get together. We met at a winebar in Manhattan, and ordered food and wine. Throughout the dinner, we carried convo effortlessly. We made eye contact repeatedly and enjoyed drinks. She told me that she thought I was extremly good looking. I felt things heating up so I suggested we sugeue to a great lounge with a roof top view. We french kissed several times. She was easily the hottest girl in the upscale lounge filled with HBs. I then went to the bathroom and came back to which she told me a guy had hit on her, but she let it be known that she was with her BF and what he did was not cool. She totally blew him off.

I then suggested the idea of going bacl to her house which she obliged. We had drinks there and made out some more. She invited me to sleep at her house, to which I did. She then admitted that she wanted to do some coke and asked me if I wanted some. I took a small amount and continued talking and making out the whole night.

The next day we awoke and we headed back in to the city for dinner and drinks. We went back and then I suggested we go back to her place. i had to pick up my car and got lost, I called her and she provided directions on how to get to her house. I followed them, parked my car and went in.

We did some more "stuff" and made out alot. Eventually in her bedroom, we made out and grinded each other. She sucked my nips and I, did the same to her. She would not have sex though. After a while, she said she wants to have sex on this Sunday. Henceforth, she was commencing a hang out for the two of us for Sunday. I left sat morning because she had to go to work and I hung out with another girl on Sat, who I'd been f-closing since last year. Befotre I left her though she made me take a book about the Kabbalah(she's into that stuff).

On Sunday, I cancelled on her just because I was tired out from the three nights of hard partying. This worked to spark her interest all week as she texted and called first several times. She was calling my house, office and cell. We made plans to hang out that following sunday.

On sunday, she texted me early saying she had " a fever." I told her that was "good news" as "I had stayed out till real late the night prior and needed the rest." She said she wants to get together and I told her this coming weekend was rough because I am headed to Florida. She said we will make plans later and got off the phone cause she "wasnt feeling well."

I texted her later, asking "If she wanted company?" (I know, rookie mistake). No response was given. I had not heard from her since we last spoke. I called her at 11:40 pm today after I got out of the gym. Rang 4 times and got her VM. Did not leave a message...

So here I am now, asking you, the experts, how do I progress forward? This broad is beyond hot. I have never seen a girl get so many fuckin stares in Manhattan in all my life. Physically, she is flawless, mentally, she is loopy as a roller coaster. I don't know if ignoring her will work because she has countless options. What do I do to play this one right, from here on in?

Any feedback is definitely appreciated....

I think your going to have to move on buddy...

I think she clearly wanted to be your girlfriend, not someone you just bang. When you told her what I highlighted I think she kind of got the picture you were just interested in banging her and I am sure she gets that a lot being a stripper.

Also if you get a girl in bed with you and you are "fooling around", but she doesn't want to have sex you need to try the method where you stop all physical contact with her... If I remember correctly its called holding out. What it does is it takes them from feeling very loved with all attention on them to absolutely nothing. They willl try to get back into that loving and attention mood and often times by having sex with you.

THanks for the feedback , Smarts. Something tells me though, that this girl doesnt know what she wants. I think the whole "out of sight, out of mind" is applicable to her current standing. She could easily have any guy she wants, plus she continued calling after my cancellation.

Here are a sample of texts she sent me last week, post-cancellation and leading to her cancellation:

Sunday ( the day we were supposed tp hang out)

How r u?? So what do wanna do 2day?

Tues:

Sorry, didnt hear my phone ring. My mom came back from Canada 2day with my cousin's wife and my little neice. Its my first time seeing her She's so cute.

Me:

Awesome! Enjoy her company!

Wed:

I have tp change jobs.

Me back:

Me too. Too much stress at this place. Hey call my house phone real quick....(she calls)


Thurs:

Will call you when I get home, If its not too late (we talk later, as she calls at 12 when she gets out of work.)

Fri:

Talk on the phone briefly, shes watching a movie and staying in.

Sat:

No communication whatso ever

I text her at 3:36 am

Hey just got home, call me when you wake up tom.

Sun:

Her:
Hi babe, I woke up with a fever tiday. Don't think we should go out tonight.

Talk on phone.

Text her at 7:24 pm: Hey do want company just to chill?

No response from then on...

Tell me I fuct this one up good.

You identified your mistakes correctly. ("You want company?" . . . Ouch . . . )

And in my mind, she's on to you like a card shark is on to a newbie bluffing on an ace high hand by by talking smack. I can offer you up some things you can try but as long as you perceive her as a skanky, loopy whore, you will eventually get called on another bluff.

There are two dynamics in play. 1. You might genuinely think from the bottom of your heart that she's a skanky whore but you feel good about fucking her + walking around with a pretty accessory attached to your arm. If this is the case, I'd say there's no way you can pull this off. You don't exactly seem to be the "Talented Mr. Ripley". (This is a good thing.)

2. Perhaps you truly do like being with her + fucking her but you just got caught up with a wussy mindset. Instead of just flowing with your heart, you allowed our societal norms mess with your head. "She is a stripper after all . . . right? . . . "

If you're stuck with 2, there is of course a chance. You need to man up, accept the fact that she has certain "baggage" and admit to yourself that you really like her and you want to give it a shot.

I won't type any more because this might be a waste of time. Let's hear your end of it first.

Its definitely number 2, with a slight tinge of number 1. We hung out for two days straight and really connected. She let me into super personal aspects of her life through convo. Her company was great.

Number 1 was also there, as I differed in opinion with how she chose to live her life in many ways. Many of her day-to-day rituals vary greatly with mine.

She could easily have any guy she wants but how many guys do you think will want to bring her home to see momma? You think this was the first time she's heard, "So you want some company?" How many offers do you think she gets to prostitute her self?

You've identified your problem, (you treated her like a loopy stripper) so your solution isn't so far off.

You need to treat her like a lady. . . Unlike most young kids who need to work on their sexual frames, you're already past that hurdle. You know and she knows that as long as you two continue meeting, sex will be involved. And if anything, "talk of sex" at this point will only make her feel like a hooker.

So . . . give her a few days to just settle her thoughts. Then you need to think back to your conversations together and come up with a few "fun event" ideas that will strike her fancy. And don't bring up what you thought you did right or wrong in the past. It's not as if you stole her grandmother's diamond ring or anything. Pretend nothing happened and just move on. Most people who work at night usually sleep till 2pm and never really get to do anything else. Dude . . . offer her some fun. She can get dick any time she wants to. . .

"Hey ______, My buddy just gave me tix to see ______. I hear it's a blast. Wanna go?"

"_______, You ever do Ethiopian food? Not sure what that's all about but a co-worker tells this new place is incredible. Feeling adventurous?

"I hear the weather is going to be great this weekend. How about we take a drive out to Long Island?"

You get the idea . . .

Little nerdy girls fantasize about a guy who will strip her clothes off and have his way with her. To her . . . this is a dream.

On the other hand, girls who have access to this stuff all the time fantasize about a guy who will sweep her off her feet and enjoy being with her even in non-sexual situations and share meaning conversations.

*Forget all the, "Don't put her on a pedestal" stuff as this doesn't apply here. That advice is for 17 year olds who who do nothing but buy crap and write love poems. So far, you've shown her that you think of her as a delicious looking piece of meat. The sex part is ALWAYS there. Of course she knows you want to fuck her. Every guy she meets wants to fuck her. What else can you offer her?

The fact you haven't had sex with her is the killer, sure you've made out but that's nothing. You can get away with alot more personality clashes once you'd had sex with a women never before.

she's had too much time to figure out your personality finding it not so fastinating anymore a bit needy.

She's calling the shots saying "I'll have sex with you next week".... yea right.....
Then she's say's day of she has a fever...please... Time waster on the next

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Reo,

What you wrote is true but it depends on the girl. Girls who are more open minded about sex do tend to place less weight on it. Take a girl from some bible belt and they stick to you like glue once you get intimate. This case is a bit different.

Obviously, a guy who goes, "You want company?" isn't too fascinating at all. And calling/texting back with similar sentiments didn't help his cause. I still think one fun day out ends with the horizontal salsa.

I'm sure we're talking about erotic dancers here, Actually the same principle applies to all women

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Actually, same principles don't equal same strategy.

kasabi, you pretty much hit the nail on the head in ever post in this thread.. Good work bro!

Thank you all for your insights....you guys really know your shit.

Some other things to consider that were not elaborated on in my post...

She offered that we exchange numbers in the club. Not me. She also said she wanted to get together outside of here

She stated several times that she hates her job and is dying to do something new. She asks me constantly about my field (Marketing & PR), as she wants to get into that field.

She constantly complements me on my intelligence and presence. She says that I have a very powerful aura that is captivating and that has been why I have been successful.

She drove into the city and met me, then offered to take me home, whether I had my car or not. (we left my car in manhattan.)

She was ready to get together on the Sunday that I cancelled.

We continued to talk each day after that.

Unintentionally, (either I was in the gym, my phone was in a different room, I was out...) there was never an instance where I instantly responded to her initial texts. Each one was delayed by at least 1 hour. Not conscientious strategy(perhaps, unconscious) Still when I followed up to communicate, she always got back.

The negative...

I was at her house for two days and we did not have sex. I am not stupid. This is very telling, and both Rio and kasabi have valid arguements as to why this occurred...

Next steps...

....I will wait until Thursday, I think, to make any contact. Is that too long? Should I approach on text or phone. I think phone is most direct. What's a good way to open? Offer plans to get together the Sunday that I return?

Also times to contact her? Daytime is a wrap since she she sleeps till 1pm everyday.

A big part of me is feeling like it may be best to be "honest." No games, no bullshit. Appeal to her sentimentality...Tell her I thought she was really cool and insightful. Complement her on intelligence, and not mention looks. I have a really hard time giving this one up.

I really would not like to fold and not even give this the last college try.

A last round of insights would be great and very much appreciated again....

And REO, because I value your insights, let me just get something straight for purposes of clarity...

The date that she stated we would have sex, was the first Sunday. I cancelled on her then, and it was because I was physically exhausted from hanging out with her and staying up the whole night, the second night at her house.

She did not cancel until this past Sunday, after my initial cancellation. Don't know if that affects your perception of this, but I thought it was important to make that clear....

Thanks fellas.

Thanks
This is your first Erotic dancer this is good learning yea they stay up all night and sleep all day.

No this doesnt affect my original thoughts to much time has passed. 2days at her house may have seemed like you were in like flynn. You had time to revealed so much about yourself to her verbally and non verbally not the best thing to do before you've had sex you needed to make yourself scarce for awhile.... you shouldn't have canceled on her just let her come over and sleep with you.

It won't hurt to contact her again through text to arrange a meet up... one on one
well I'm off

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First off . . . relax. You're beginning to over-think this thing. Look . . . you messed up. Big deal . . .just start over again. She was cold with your text before so there is a chance she might flake out for either a mushy text or a call. I've found this works the best:

You text her something totally random and goofy that most women can't resist to reply to: (Something nothing having to do with relationships or sex)

Something like: "Just saw a juice machine on an informercial for 89 bucks. I'm feelin' it. Go for it?" . . . or . . . "I have a very important question. Mushu pork or General Gau for lunch?" . . . Anything dumb and random and I don't know about the conversations you've had with her but something that pertains to what you discussed is ideal.

She texts you: Blah, blah, blah . ..

And you immediately call her because she's right there with her phone in her hand. For her to not answer would be impolite. So she answers . . . and you just hit her up with a simple proposal for the type of fun event that I mentioned earlier.
Don't "tell" her this crap. This can seem insincere especially after treating her like a village whore. During your call, you just want to "demonstrate" that you think she's cool by offering to hang out and do fun things with her. During the date . . . during a conversation, she might say something insightful or funny. . . at that point you can tell her something like, "Wow, that's cool . . . I never thought of it that way . . ." (And just look at her like you really appreciate her company) You'll get laid that very night.