Hey guys.

Let me explain the situation I'm in right now:

I'm going on a kind of high-school here in Denmark.
I have a very good friend of mine on the school.
He is a natural gamer and everyone likes him.
When we are together, just the two of us, we are at the precisely same social-stands and both Alpha's.
We are both good friends, and have a lot of fun together.
But when other people join in, it is him who people talks to - therefore he gets the Alpha-status.
And that means that I automaticly becomes needy if I wanna tell him something, because I have to "move between the crowd".

My question is:
How do I remain Alpha when we are chillin' with other people?
As I know, there can only be one Alpha in a group, and that mean that I have to take the attention away from him.
But it seems like it is impossible, because he is the Alpha right now?!

I hope you all can give me some great answers and advices.
And hey, sorry for my crappy English by the way

Cheers,

Simon.

Ah sum1 after my speciality.

I train pure alpha methods in my schooling.

Basically alpha is as alpha does, so altho u are on the same mental level alpha wise with ur friend, he is obviously giving out other signals you havent taken into consideration.

1. Body language - do u understand or implement alpha like body language?

Posture and pose are really important, u need to hanve ur shoulders back, ur head held high and u need a certain authority in ur walk.

2. Vocal toning - the alpha is the guy every1 listens to and can easily understand, if u have language barriers, i.e. unusual accent, speech problems, high pitched or off pitch voice etc, then its harder to be the alpha. Alpha will universally apply to all, not all will universally apply to alpha...

When I speak the group listen, thats what u need to be like, when ur talking u need to train your voice to be maybe 2 octaves lower than ur current speech pattter, u need to be able to drop octaves without any clear change. I use this in NLP tricks but I find if your voice is softer and lower then people tend to get more engaged in what ur saying.

3. De-Alpha ur mate, I know he ur friend but if u want his place and he isnt being fair and trading the alpha role with u (my party normally take it in turns being alpha when we're out otherwise we wud just clash all night. we then change it up a certain way into evening. Altho when I train I make sure the student is the alpha constantly so thats what I teach.

4. Alpha like behaviour, popular and alpha arent congruent. You dont need to be popular to be the dominant force in the room, infact if ur alpha is right in check u shudnt need to do anything at all. Dont buy drinks for people, dont moan, dont complain, dont stress, be fun, be social, be interesting but most of all be a man. Dont use to much manners and niceties, be cocky, be smart but be attractive.

5. Social proof. Half of the problem may well be that your friend has built social proof in areas where u havent. I know for a fact if I go one club im shown love by every1 and if I go to this strip joint my 2 wings get shown the love because they have worked on their social proof in there.

Maybe away from ur friend find a nice bar with a lower PUA, go here week in week out for a month, chatting to bouncers, greasing bar staff, talking to shot girls etc. Get ur name known and ur face recognised, but dont tell ur mate, then when u suggest a "new" venue he will lose his social proof and u will gain it. Imagine walking in and getting love from the bouncer bruno while ur mate is ignored, imagine getting the bar and gina comes straight to you.

Always grease, i know its cheesy but in popular bars and clubs I dont want to fight for rights to drink, if u always give gratuity and grease then u will never have a problem asserting social proof.


Basically stop being in ur mates shadow, break away, develop ur game and then get him on ur sacred ground.

Technically speaking . . . there is no such thing as two alphas in a group. You know this already. So what's going on here is that you feel comfortable as a BETA in this one and one relationship with your friend.
When in a crowd, what can be so important that you need to chat with your guy buddy? Don't you spend enough time with him as it is? I might be wrong but what's going on here is that when the two of you are in large group, you feel you are losing your BETA status and you don't like it. So instead of feeling comfortable with the rest of the crowd, you're having to CONFIRM your beta status by addressing your buddy every now and then. "See, this popular guy right here is my friend! . . . " By doing this . . . you're becoming Omega.

Omegas of any group are ONLY concerned with their immediate needs and they do as told in order keep from going hungry. Betas of any group know their place and serve the alpha with specific tasks.

Alphas . . . well these guys are forward thinking strategists right? Think of the CEO of a company, the general of an army, the Chief Surgeon in a Operation room . . . Do you think these guys are concerned about more or less attention that they are getting from low level staff? Do you think they lean over to their "partner's" and ask, "Hey, we're still good buddies right?" What are their priorities?

You posed your question on a PUA forum because you are or either want to be a PUA. This means your goal is to find women and get laid. Keep focused! Do everything that allows you to get laid, do nothing which hurts your chances and forget all the rest. When you can focus on your goal, strategize, and then execute . . .you will naturally become alpha without even thinking about it.

So, while LA has some great advice for the alpha gig, I think you're focusing on the wrong goal. So what if 2 girls are listening to him chat? So what if he's got a funny story to share? Stop focusing on HIM. You're a man . . . focus on the LADIES. Stare at one, smile . . . GAME the ladies. "Hey, come join me. I'm going to the store to buy some drinks." Lead the ladies . . .

Everything else will fall into place.

I agree with Kasabi, thanks for the tips, they were useful.-Redkid

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I'll rise to the top yet. Just watch me.

Hey,

Thanks for the help.
It got me really thinkin' of some stuff.
Will definatly try some of the things out, and maybe give you a responds on how it works later on?..

Anyway, great advices, mates!
Thank you.

Cheers,

Simon.

I agree that you are trying too hard to be BETA and appearing OMEGA and that's no good. My suggestiong is that if it's a large enough gathering, split up so you can ALPHA your own group. You can wing your buddy from time to time by entering his group for a short time and build his DHV as he can do for you too. If he's unwilling to do this it's because he gets his ALPHA status from you because you defer to him and he doesn't want to give that up. If that's the case, stop propping him up and let him stand on his own by appearing uninterested in what he's talking about. If he can't he will begin to defer to you to take some of the social load off him thus making you ALPHA. It seems a crappy thing to do to a friend, but if he's getting his social status from the way you treat him, you should be ALPHA.

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