For the record: I'm 19 years old...I'm actually fairly good looking, 6'3, have a visible tattoo...physically, getting girls shouldn't be a huge problem...Except I was fat my entire life and had to drop from 240ish pounds to 185. This really did a number on my self esteem...and a lot of the things I went through when I was younger made me very skeptical to the point that if a girl SINCERELY tells me she's attracted to me...I think she's lying or playing some kind of cruel joke.

---
I'll be honest and say I definitely haven't dived in and started trying out everything because obviously I still have that fear of rejection but I've slowly tried to modify my habits and have become less afraid of talking to girls..but I've got one question in particular, along with some experiences I'd like share if there's anyone that would be kind enough to sit here and read this all...I've watched a lot of videos including countless hours of david deangelo almost putting me to sleep preaching self renovation for the majority of his speeches...

Something I truly enjoy doing is negging...it's actually the most fun part of it. I'm surprisingly good at improvising jokes when I need to...one of my favorites is "You're a lot prettier when your mouth isn't open"

of course they always respond "That's so mean!"....No, no...that's a compliment...I'm saying you're pretty....totally....

but a problem I think I have is that I neg for too long. I think I neg her to the point she's attracted to me...then when I continue to neg her I move from "Uninterested" into the "Asshole/Jerk" category.

my question is: After how long should I begin to start showing interest in her?











Will continue in my next post \/

You're not required to read this...but it's relevant...kinda

I knew this was gonna be a long post and not EVERYONE wants to read 500 paragraphs even though I certainly don't mind...this is the continued post.


I've spent time analyzing it and think I've got it finally figured out for the first time after watching ALL these hours of videos, I truly understand the logic behind it...

--> Girls say they want a guy who's confident and willing to make the first move
--> The SAME girls say they want a guy who's a challenge/not easy to get...basically one who's uninterested

These are COMPLETELY contradictive...because a guy who's confident and willing to make the first move is OBVIOUSLY showing his interest IMMEDIATELY by approaching her.

The reason for this is because a girl wants to feel like she's worked to acquire something (The male) and that all her work has paid off...

but at the SAME time...she's shy and too afraid of rejection to make the first move on the guy.


The only way to make BOTH conflicting sides happy is for the guy to make the first move, THEN act completely disinterested...then gradually show interest in her. This way the man has done all the work of initiating the conversation yet the woman has still "Worked to acquire her man" or so she's tricked into believing. The truth is, the majority of the time anyways...the guy was already interested in her...but if he was to approach her and show his interest immediately...he's thrown into the friends category or even the "just wants sex" category.

This is what make's mystery's group approaches so logical. If you approach a group of people...ESPECIALLY one with a guy in it...you're not showing ANY interest in the girl by approaching her. Approaching a girl solo is immediately showing signs of your interest in her...which doesn't work well if you're trying to act uninterested.

So you initiate a conversation with a group of people. Act disinterested in the girl you're interested in...slowly become more interested and then everyone's happy and you can finally begin a real relationship.

Oh my god: Epiphany! "I understand women!"

But my question is still the same though. After how long do you stop acting disinterested and start acting interested? 30 minutes? 1 hour? Hours and hours?


Even once you show interest...it seems like if I keep negging her she's still gonna think I'm an asshole. Maybe she'll think I'm playing games with her...I do kinda have a hard time preventing myself from negging a girl. Negging has made conversation SOOOO easy. I've found that there's a LOT less awkward silences in a conversation when you can neg them.

I'll go on and talk about an example of my failures...

I was a grocery bagger at a supermarket down here in florida and there was this cashier that I liked. First time I saw her I recall that she was cashiering, i was bagging...I had a penny and i was shooting it around the conveyer belt or whatever (the metal part where they put your groceries after they scan em and before they bag em...whatever it is) anyways, immediately she was like "Stop" and I chose to do it again because complying with her order seemed submissive to me...I always smiled to insinuate that anything I did was jokingly...I don't remember too much of what happened every day, I can only give you vague anecdotes of different days and things I did because a lot of it got lost in memory. It was quite some time ago when I was experimenting with some stuff and not having any luck really.

Anyways...I recall one day in specific where I felt like I was doing everything right on different points and there was another girl who came up and was talking to her and she said something along the lines of "are you gonna come over" and mentioned her parents being away and she didn't want to be alone in the house...so I was joking and said "You know youre the kind of person who sleeps with a night light aren't you?" and she started laughing but nodded her head and I'm like you do?! Woooow...and i thought you couldn't have been less of a dork...I started calling her night light for a couple days


There's also an instance where she stole some dudes grape and ate it like right out of the package...and he was in a wheelchair...so I gave her a hard time for that...I went to help him out and I said are you gonna save my spot for me? She's like "No" (I know the internet and typing doesn't translate tone...At no point did she seem genuinely disinterested. Even when she said no she was laughing) and I went to help the dude out and obviously some other dude took the spot...the other dude by the way was obviously trying to get with her but seemed like he was getting nowhere fast and was overly desperate...like literally clinging to her every second he could...

another instance I was just walking by and saw her talking to another girl at my work...we'll call her brittany...actually her names brittany, let's call her jude for confidentiality purposes. I started walking past them knowing they were talking about me because I saw the girl I liked point at me while Jude looked...so I stopped...had to turn around and just walked up to them and confronted them...I said "You're talking about me, what'd she say?" and Brittany...i mean Jude said "She said you're mean" and then the girl I liked laughingly was like "nooooo....I was talking about....the wall over there"

fast forwarding a bit...She was asking me to buy her gum for whatever reason...I was like no....then I offered to thumbwrestle her and she turned me down but then I told her if you win I'll buy you gum...so she agree...I had intended to cheat to win but before we even started I said "Do you wanna know what happens if you lose?" obviously I was gonna tell her to go out with me and cheat at thumb wrestling to win but before I even told her she broke away and didn't give me a chance to actually say it.

These anecdotes are all scattered in my memory so I don't know the exact order of which they occured...

I'm gonna skip to the end...there's a lot more. I should mentioned these are spanned over months. I did a lot of different shit...most of the time pertaining to the particular scenario...ie she's drawing "I love publix" (the supermarket name) on a paper bag (god knows why the hell she's drawing I love publix on a bag) but I just X'd out publix and put my name there. I told her "You totally want me" but she denied it...

eh moving to the end of my story...when I finally gave up. It was Xmas and I thought...I'm gonna buy her a night light. It seemed like a thoughtful, funny idea. It's inexpensive. Anyways she opened it up and laughed but said "I'm gonna rewrap this and give it to my sister" but she never did take the night light =[. When I gave it to her she was on shift and put it in a storage compartment below the cash register and left it there when she went home.



Made me cry =[ No joke. Not sure why cuz it's so stupid but it's just a feeling of like...man nothing is ever gonna work

Ok I think your thinking about things to much.
Yep for sure.
Of course you have to be interested. Just don't act too needy or desperate. Just be your self for gods sake. Don't be scared to walk away.

You said you neg too often. You probably don't even need to neg. You can show interest just by talking to her.

Finally for the check out chick you worked with, get over her. It sounds like you need to work on your insecurities man. Be happy being alone and you will never again cry because of a girl.

but if I show interest right away she becomes skeptical and thinks either

Nice Guy - "He's really nice but I wouldn't date him"


or the more common

"He only wants to have sex with me"


which is why acting disinterested and THEN acting interested works...because she's under the impression that she's said or done something to make you like her...therefore she's accomplished something and you're no longer the "Guy who just wants sex"



also there's no such thing as over analyzing it in my opinion. The ultimate goal of a PUA in my opinion is to turn around and teach others what you've learned in your experiences. If you don't analyze it to the point where you can't explain it BETTER than the person who taught it to you then I don't think you've reached that goal




I do agree with your final statement but it's really hard to be happy and alone. Especially for such a long period of time

bump

and again

Ok I think the answer to your question(s) lies within the whole realm of PUA. Here's my suggestions in each scenario.


"He's really nice but I wouldn't date him"

- Be cocky funny. Tease her but back it up with a compliment.
- Use kino. Nice guys are too scared to touch a girl.
- Don't ask her too many questions.
- Don't offer to buy her a drink.


"He only wants to have sex with me"

- Learn to tell stories with a passion to show her that you have a heart.
- Learn some routines and win her friends over.
- DHV the right way and she wont be able to resist you.

I too have a similar problem...I went from 225lbs to 170lbs. I still have the mentality & confidence of the fat kid though! I can't even approach women randomly at bars! If I approach it's cause i'm wasted or because it's a friend-of-friend sort of thing, or we're in an intimate environment like spin class or barnes & noble.

My problem is i'm too nice & too insecure.


Any suggestions to help me overcome this?

wow you guys lost alot of weight, if i were you guys i would feel like god damn superman

_________________
Never
Not
Smile

it seems like you lack inner game. that being self confidence. and whenever you say or do anything you learned on here or any pickup related medium, it comes off as fake and unnatural. you really need to work on that. its pretty simple too. just think you are great.... as great as your favorite rockstar or actor. think you are superman. be as confident as they would be. but dont take it too far and make yourself too cocky sounding.

youre also way too desperate. theres plenty of fish in the lake, but if you arent willing to wait patiently with your pole, figure out the best place to cast out at, or learn the correct type of bait to use, you arent going to eat that day. your problem seems to be that you are scared entirely to get into the water unless you already see a fish swimming by, then when you scare it and it swims away you get frustrated and blame the fish.

step out of your shoes and open your mind. although you may think you have already, to me personally it doesnt seem like thats how it is.

picking up chicks through game is unnatural for most guys and not easy. its not as simple as listening to the guru's or how the people in FR's and LR's make it seem. it starts with inner game; confidence and belief in yourself. work on that, read about that, and practice that to get you on the right path.

hope i helped and didnt offend.