To keep it brief, due to the economy, I'm unpaid leave next week. So earlier this month, I decided to go visit friends in Chi-town w/ a buddy who's unemployed.

So I'm going through facebook, throwing out messages to all my friends in chi-town seeing if I can't land myself a place to crash. Not even a day goes by, and my ex calls me up telling me she's going to be there this weekend too, and that we should meet up. Next day, she sent me a fucking agenda of where she'll be for that entire weekend!

So this totally baffles me b/c A) I didn't tell her I was coming--one of my buddy's must have. B) More importantly, why is she so excited to see me?

So here's two prespectives:

"Dude she obviously wants you back!" -- Granted, I'm still not completely over her--nor do I think I'll ever be, but I've been attempting to close that door on her for damn near 2 years now--if not longer. She's the one that continues to maintain contact me, and I put in absolutely no effort in whatsoever. Absolutely terrified to travel down that road again. You know the whole "shame me once" thing.

"Dude, she just wants to see if your still into her, so she can still bank on you being her 'break in case of emergency dick." Keep in mind, she broke up w/ me, and I guess the last two or three (I try not keeping a close count) dudes she dated turned out to be complete jerks (fellow posters perhaps? ), and now's she's been single probably the 2nd longest stretch of her adult life (the 1st time was after breaking up w/ me). I guess I could easily see this scenario unfold: we agree to meet up, and she flirts w/ me. I show interest, and BAM! Now's she's surrounded by a wall of tool bag dude friends, and off making out w/ other chicks in front of them and others (yes, she likes/liked to do this AW, and fucking always hated it).

So anyone else have any experience at this? I usually awesome at reading people and their motives, but since my ego and heart are involved, I'm afraid my judgement is impaired.

My ex wife is very similar but more aggressive in some ways.

If she went out of her way to hear this information. Then tell you she's going to be there, give you an intenuary, and other stuff. She wants you back man.

She's going to get you 1 x 1 for the time she has together and give it her best shot. She is not going to make it easy on you. And you if you start thinking with your little head, rather than your big head, you'll end up with her again. I know that isn't what you "really" want.

Avoid putting yourself in this situation at all costs.

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Dude,, tell her you already have plans and that maybe you can meet another time.

Then don't meet another time.

I've got a bud who's been on the end of his ex's yo-yo for years. If it was going to happen it would have, but it didn't Don't waste your time. Meeting her is just gonna set you back one year in this long process.

Either way, good luck

UPDATE:

Scenario #2 actually played out to a tee.

W/ a few minutes at the bar, she had herself an entouge of dudes who were more than willing to buy her drinks (since I sure as hell would not). And then the rest of the time she had this one dude all over her for the rest of the day/night.

The great thing though was this was actually the first time when I saw I felt absolutely NOTHING. No butterflys, no anxieity, no anger, no hurt, no jealousy--flat out NOTHING. It was such a new feeling--like one you'd get from running into a a old HS acquitance that you never were close to. You know, like cool you know them, but that's really as far as it will go since the neither of you are interesting in making up for lost time or anything. I think one of the key reason is that she now looks like Paris Hilton Lite--hardcore fake and bake tan, and the bleach-est blonde hair, ...like..ever! The sweet innocent girl next door that I fell in love w/ she is not anymore! I'm respecting your game, respect mine!

Now the only time she did extract an emotion out of me was when she would come from out of nowhere to attempt to cock block on me, not once but twice, by coming up from behind and grabbin me. Each time I looked at her w/ complete disguse and flat out ignored her and went back to sarging. Of course, looking back, I should have use that as an opportunity to run some jealousy plotline, but I was seriously geniunely pissed--leave me f'n alone!

I guess the thing I found most interesting was how absolutely none of her friends or mutual friends even attempted to "save" her from this AFC. I mean, it was clear this dude had no clue on game, and eventually she'd get bored w/ him, but in the meantime, absolutey NO ONE gave enough of a sheet about her to even attempt to talk to this dude in order to validate him. In my experience, when you can get practically "instant-iso" the target either has no friends or not there w/ people who actually care about her. Which only proves, the "mother hens" have gotten sick of dealing w/ her as well.

In the end, when we parted, she told me it seemed like only yesterday that we've seen each other even though that was the 2nd or 3rd time in 3 years. I of course, pointed this stat out, and yes it did feel like the 4th time in 3 years, since I obviously do not know this person anymore--nor at all care to, much like an old HS classmate.

Nice... You're over her.




Time to move on, full steam ahead.
How did your game go that night ?

(fingers crossed you made some obvious K-closes and instigated that old jealousy she should be getting knowing you've found yourself better than her.)

My game was balls on. K-Closed at least 4 girls, got 3 numbers, had 2 others fighting over me (never had that happen b/f so I completely screwed it up--but regardless that was still awesome), and probably could have taken another girl home, but honesty I was spent, and since I was visiting my buddy, I didn't have a good place to take her.

...but she never got to see any of this b/c I absolutely refused to hang out w/ her and random dude, so we ended up parting ways as the night went on. Although she did call me, but I don't understand the point of that.

Although, in retrospect, how sweet would it have been to kick my ex out of the guest bedroom, so that I could rail this hottie?