Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
-H. L. Mencken

Love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify the trouble we take to have sex.
-Daniel S. Greenberg

Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old.
-John Ciardi

I think the answer lies within your post.

Love does exist, it's just a single sweeping definition of it that does not. Love is what the people experiencing it percieve it to be.

That's just my two pence.

My good friend and fellow sarger defines love as:
"A bunch of chemicals that are fired in your brain, designed to make us mate with another human and so continuing the human race"*

I define love as:
"That wonderful feeling when you are with that person who is more special than anything in the whole wide world"**

It all depends on your view of things, but I think the world would be a much worse place if we didn't believe in a thing called "Love"


* He formulated it somewhat more elegant than that, but anyways..
** I'm a hopeless romantic, I know

I'm fond of the volitional definitions of love. Love is not HOW YOU FEEL. Love is what you DECIDE to do. Whether for emotional reasons or rational ones, when you decide to make another person's wellbeing as important to you as your own, that's love.

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Some vices miss what is right because they are deficient, others because they are excessive, in feelings or in actions, while virtue finds and chooses the mean.
Aristotle, Ethica Nichomachea

You're asking one of the most difficult questions. Both oneitis and love are supposedly the same but in one factor. Love is mutual, oneitis isn't.

What love is? Well, who knows? Love can be anything from subjective view to society's definition.

However, I define love as the alignment of the conscious and the unconscious combined with our evolved thought towards a person and returned creating a sense of euphoria. This means we want the person logically as well as instinctively.

They call it oneitis not only because it is you like that one person so much but because it is one-sided.

_________________
Why is the Rhum gone?!

well love is beneficial to both parties


oneitis is generally a nuisance or worse to both

_________________
Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

It seems to be "just" another drug.

It feels nice, and it's perfectly natural, but it's still impossible to explain, to describe, to define.
Neurochemically no different from eating large amounts of chocolate.


Knowing what you're doing, it can be used to really heighten an experience, such as sex
But remember, what NLP or more specifically General Semantics, have taught us; The Word is not the thing.

It works both ways in my experience.
People with tons of conceptions of how Love "is" will model their feeling to suit this, and if that involves a lot of cheap romantic novels and chaotic bombardment of negative and positive emotions under the label "Love", this can be really fucked up

...especially if you use patterns on them...
This may be much of the reason NLP-patterns can be so dangerous.


It's a feeling, a collection of emotions, and it does feel good, mostly...

But still, becoming addicted ain't no good.
Especially if this "Love"-collection of that certain individual involves suicidal sadness once your "loved" one breaks up, or even kisses another person.
The preconception that Jealousy should be there, or that sadness should come, well... I don't find it very healthy.



at least...
That's my opinion.

Accept the feelings are there, but please, try to resist the temptation of labeling them.

My idea of Love, e.g. may involve an endless feeling of acceptance, respect and fondness of the way things are, or something I see in it, like a potential. (Which is why I can say that I Love nature, I love every bird, every animal, every tree, every concrete building, every drooling kid who's trying to eat whatever he just picked up from the ground etc.)
This doesn't mean that everybody else will understand this if I say that I Love some aspect of the world. say. a person...

Understand ?

Love is a diffuse word, and it usually differs in meaning from person to person, as does every emotional label.

You'll never know exactly what "Love" means when another person says he "loves" something.


Realizing this may help.

but maybe I'm just too Philosophical about the matter, maybe there can be a universal understanding or recipe of what Love "is" and what criteria needs to be fulfilled for someone to "Love" another.



Cheers

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFtywrOTnHw[/youtube]

The way most PUAs define and label oneitis nowadays is overblown and in many cases, flat-out incorrect. Being extraordinarily attracted or interested in a single woman is not a bad quality; quite the opposite, it's necessary if you ever intend to have any kind of relationship above and beyond a sexual one (and honestly, if you just want extremely great sex).

What makes the difference between oneitis and love? For one thing, love is shared while oneitis is usually one-sided. But the bigger picture here is how you respond to it: if it turns you into a whiny, needy little bitch, then yes, not only is it unhealthy but also unlikely to blossom into a healthy relationship. If, on the other hand, you continue to be a man in spite of the feelings you have for the woman ... well, now you're on to something

So to answer the OP: yes, love does exist. And it is wonderful

Your boy,
870

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"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)

Actually Wolf, the neurochemical equivalent to eating lots of chocolate is sex, not love.

Personally I think that there really is love and that it's real and can be a great thing. Then again, I'm in love so I might be a bit biased.

I think that oneitis is more of a possessive, excluding, horrible mutant bastard spawn creation of love.

Oneitis, to me, is when you feel like you MUST be with this ONE person because they are THE ONE and they are 'Dipped in moonlight and rolled in stardust' as Dan Savage would say. Also, if that person is with ANYONE else that person is just so WRONG for them! How could they think that person (Even if that person used to the the sufferer's friend) was even WORTH dating?

Oneitis, I feel, comes from the social conditioning in many cultures where at a very young age (look at the Disney Characters, most get married at 16) we are expected to find the one person that we will be with for the rest of forever and it will all be sunshine and roses and you will never again desire anyone else ever because you've found THE ONE.
Which is bunk.
Monogamy is not natural, even the animals we relate with as being monogamous (penguins, swans etc.) have been proven, through genetics, to be messing around on the side, they just come back to the same nest every night. So the idea that there is ONE person you are meant to be with FOREVER is a lie.

Cinnamon

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Nice, Cinnamon.



I think people may confuse the two, though.
One-itis (desperation for a single person, usually leading into despair and unhealthy habits, such as stalking etc.) and Love (which is a fondness for something, but which, in my opinion should be free. )

I guess you can call it the fault of social programming/conditioning, through stuff like Disney and/or other Monogamous Love-stories, such as you get from religious standards or mass-producing PC companies. (novels, movies, music, etc.)


While in fact it's perfectly possible to really, truly Love more than one thing/person/whatever.

At least, the way I define Love, it is

I agree Wolf. ^__^

Being in an open relationship, I know it's possible to love more than one person.

The possessive part of oneitis is, I think, there it becomes harmful and then creates the self-destructive cycle, where as love is more free and improves both parties.

Cinnamon

_________________

I think love is the connection you have with someone when there is mutual feelings of acceptance and genuine concern for the other person

First love is always more exciting than old love, because it is new and unknown waters

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no risk, no reward

cant believe no one did this yet

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glgO_bJ4AgI[/youtube]

lulz

you need to answer this question yourself

I mean, this is a personal issue, So fuck what any pick up artist says, Cuz Your really just a sucker if your not in control of your actions enough to let terms like "oneitus" define w/e your feeling.

I think, You transcend this whole pick up artist shit when you learn how to take Control of your own shit, Cuz Imo, I think thats what most of us are here for anyway. don't lose touch with that.

Take time to evaluate what your feeling & do a little soul searching. analyze the chick & Weigh your options. Then Ask Yourself this question.

love is mutual one-itis...

i decided to get into this stuff because of this theory i figured out...

If love exists...I'm much more likely to find it by approaching all kinds of attractive women, than I am by simply sitting in my chair watching them go by...