Dudes-

I have one-itis like no other and I need help! It's not even a justified one-itis...I have hardly even talked to this girl but she is on my mind 24/7.

So here's the deal. This girl is in a class of mine and from day 1 I thought she was pretty damn hot. Some eye contact ensued (I know big timer right?) and I told myself that I had to talk to her. So after class one day I mustered the courage to go and chat her up a bit. It was pretty fluffy stuff mind you- hardly what I would call tight game. We got along well enough though and there really wasn't much awkwardness.

Anyways I recently saw her at a campus bar and actually danced with her and she seemed to have a good time with it. I negged her a little bit about her moves and she responded well. Unfortunately she rolled off with her friends and that was that. I really should have taken the time to actually work some DHV and comfort building but just didn't. Ever since than (a week ago now) I have been totally in my own head about this. I have had class with her since and haven't even talked to her once...I've just been totally frozen. This has never happened to me before- at least not to this extreme. I've built this girl up so much in my head that I can barely think straight...

Furthering my doubts is her social group. She is kind of a hipster and I am definitely not in that crowd. It's not that I don't think we'd have some stuff in common...its just that I feel as if she is so totally entrenched in her crowd that there isn't any room for an outsider, which is what I feel like right now. I am simply put being a huge pussy but the more I try to dig myself out of this the further I seem to freeze up whenever there is an opportunity to talk to her. I'm about to lose it guys.

I just need a concrete plan of attack. If any of you have thoughts I would greatly appreciate it. I'm dyin here

-C

So you think she's hot. OK. And you mustered up the courage to talk to
her for the first time before...

And now that you danced with her and shit... you can't have the brass ones
and talk to her no more???

What the hell dude. Just go up and ask her a question about something
that is going on in the class or something to get the ball rolling again.

If you don't talk to her again, real soon, you will be labeled as one of those
"wussies" that David D talk about.
Why did you build her up in your head in the first place... you never do
this with girls... even the hot ones. If she's hot, then she's hot.. treat her
like a family member or a bratty little step-sister.

Never think of her as a hot babe when you talk to her... if you do, then
you will always, always, always lose your fucking mind over hot girls.

Until you are able to "get it in your head" that she is a "family member"
or whatever... then you will never be able to move forward and get to
where a lot us are at today with chicks.
So she's a hipster... you and her talked and danced and you both enjoyed
it, right? Who cares if you have stuff in common... that's where the term
"get to know each other" comes in.

No room for an outsider... huh... maybe this is the very reason why she
is feeling something for you [if she is]... because you are NOT in her crowd
of "friends." She finds your presence "new and fresh"... something that
she wants to get a taste of... maybe she is looking for something more...
maybe she wants to get out of this "hippy" crowd and get into a new one...
or hell, she might be one of those hippy types... we all know the type...
promiscuous girls... get them alone, and they will rock your world
in more ways than you can think of...
There is a saying that I heard from a hypnotist...

"That which we try not to think about fills our mind to think
of this thing that we are not trying to think about, often to
the point of obsession."

In short... if you are trying not think about this girl/situation...
then that thought process is going to make you obsess over
this girl/situation.

EXAMPLE:
Try not to think of 3 Koala bears sitting in a bathtub for the next 30 seconds...

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Listen you need a slap in the face haha wake up man! if she danced with you then that right there is a strong IOI...she might not be head over heals for you but she gave you a shot to impress her....

Ok listen girl will test you....they do it unknowingly but they will test you to see If you have what it takes or If you are just another avg. chump. You need to tell her you are going to take her out and show her the time of her life....and then do it! take her out and knock her off her feet. Listen bro dont dout you self what is the worst that could happen???? so she says no....there are about 3 billion other women in this world that you can have. Listen would you rather sit in thinking about her and what could be? or go for her and mabey....no probably have a chance at a relationship? the balls in your court man but have some confidence because that is what will win her over.

I remeber when I was and AFC and I would sit in thinking about girls but never do any thing....now I do somthing and usualy it works out. Somtimes I go as far as telling a girl I want her and she will be mine because I always go for what I want and I get it....mind you not all women will fall for this haha but somtimes you just have to have the mind set that it doesnt matter....its all or nothing and if it doesnt work out then you dont have a fuck.

Guys thanks for those responses. I think it just comes down to me nutting up and talking to her, her social circle be damned. Leprechaun believe me I tried not to build her up by like you said just by thinking about it I set myself up for failure. TTM- do you think I should ask her out on a date right now (I don't have to call it that obviously)? Or is it better to keep building some rapport. Remember our interactions have been very brief and limited. I really don't have a clue what she thinks about me.

But point taken guys and I guess I have to wrap my head around the fact that she isn't the end all be all. I've also been getting some flak from my friend who says that it would be impossible to get her. His negative energy has contributed to my current mental state. But at the end of the day it's up to me. I'll keep you guys posted.

-C

I didnt want to read the whole post because the first few lines gave it away really... however in order to not be rude i read your post.

DUDE WAKE UP !! STOP MAKING IT OUT TO BE SUCH A BIG DEAL WHEN THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS ITS NOT !!

You have built up this person sooo much in your head that you prob blown it anyway!! lol Becuase, she's prob thinking "why dont this dumass talk to me like we dnaced the other night, now he keeps straing at me like some stalker i hope his not " ! lol

She prob a dirty litle slut that like to give head while the guy is driving or maybe doggy style is her fav posiition!
maybe you shud grow some balls and ask her ! oh and yes that usually does the trick because girls are just as horny as guys!

had to reply, ive been through the same thing.
The thing to remember here is that no matter what social group a person seems to belong to does not cut your chances of creating a relationship, be it friendship or whatever. You are not in high school, unless you are in which case i guess this clique thing might be a problem. but you said you danced at the pub so im assuming not high school. Also, hipsters live in this society too so dont think you guys have nothing in common, you have to. Like i said, ive been through this and i know there seems like there is nothing we can say, but it gives you some comfort and confidence with us just telling you to man up. She's just a human being, she cant do shit to you. If she's a decent human being, if you have used your game right, she will be happy to give you a chance, it's all about how you make her feel. All women value the same traits in males, well almost all, there is variance between women, but pretty much there is a consensus in what a desirable man is. If you are a desirable guy but not a gay hipster, she wont care. she has her gay hipster friends to fill her hipster needs. haha. best of luck to you man!

Guys thanks for the feedback. Just an update- I went out sarging with a couple of my buddies last night (we're in college btw) and went out with the mindset that we were just going to approach as many girls as possible. The results were good and I think its given me a boost for when I see this hipster girl next. We used canned openers all night (real basic stuff- who lies more? that sorta thing). Anyways we probably opened over 15 sets between a couple of parties. I was hoping I'd run into you know who but no dice. Anyways it was just nice to see how negging, teasing, and just opening with confidence allowed us to become the life of the party. I was actually more caught up with how much fun it was as opposed to just doing it to get laid. We looked at it more like a science experiment. So I really don't have anymore excuses- it's put up or shut up and I plan on being the man. Thanks for the continued advice...a good kick in the ass is needed every once in awhile.

-C

Just a quick update.

I saw her in the library today and immediately went up and tried to strike up a conversation and wow was she cold. This is how it went down...

Me: Oh hey Liz much reading did we have for class?
Her: (coldly and without much eye contact) I..I don't know I have so much work to do I couldn't tell you sorry

She then promptly looked back down at her book leaving me reeling. I think I was more in shock by how icy she was and mumbled something like, "k later." To be honest I'm not even kicking myself over not having much to say. I was just seriously taken aback by how rude and abrupt she was. She definitely didn't look happy to see me ore have any interest in talking to me.

What should I do? Should I cut my losses and forget about her or should I show this bitch who's boss? Next time I see her should I say that she was being a bitch or just ignore what happened and pretend that I didn't think anything of it? I'm at the point now where I'm think she might not want to have anything to do with me in which case I really don't feel like wasting anymore energy on her. Thoughts?

-C

I would build a little more attraction before asking her on a date....but the good news is you can do this in a span of just a couple hours. Hang out with her at the bar again, build some attration and then tell her your want to take her our....make it clear you are taking her out on a date not hanging out as friends.

Some might not agree? but I literally tell a girl I am taking her on a date and usualy they respend well. An example would be....I just danced with a girl and I can tell she is into me and having a good night....its the end of the night and I want to leave so I would say somting like "Hey give me your number lets hang out this week" then she gives you her number....wait until the next day and say to her "Do you have running shoes?" her: "yes....why" you: "Ok good Im taking you on a date and you need running shoes" her: "were?" you: "Dont worry just wear somthing comfortable what night are you free?" then you set a date and take her rock climing or go on a hike iduno....doesnt matter but what matters is you dont ask you tell and you show confidence and mystery you see what I mean?

Although women will generally not agree If you ask them they do want to be led....that does not mean they want to be treated like shit they just want you to be the man, be decisive and confident.

One other thing you need to kiss her on the first day or at some point when you get her alone....I feel the kiss close is the hardest part of being a pua and I still almost shit my pants every time I kiss a girl for the first time! haha but once you kiss a girl its like magic! she will melt in your hand....girls see kissing as somthing very diffrent then guys do! to us its just a kiss but for women it stirs up all kinds of emotion.

Dont worry about it man you will do fine just be your self with a little more confidence....show her you care about her and that you want more then just a friendship but make sure you dont go over board and fall back into the AFC trap lol

Oh and as for her being cold....they all are lol I say ask her out still if you strike out who cares bro?? honestly dont feel bad about it you can win every time.