Hello All,

I have basically been seeing this girl for the last 2 months, we did the whole valentines day (very romantic), go out regularly, hold hands the hole deal, but she still refuses to become my girlfriend. She had just split from her bf when i met her and the reason she won't be my gf is because shes wants to be single for a bit, she keeps saying she wants to be with me just not now. Im pretty new to relationships, not generally a one woman guy. So is this a valid excuse? Surely if she wants to be with me she'd just be with me no? can I still see people whilst waiting?

Any tips on this and maybe how to get to the gf/bf sooner?

Thanks in advance,

Cockles.

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Tommy C

Tommy,, I'd suggest you add one more option to your poll.

C. Adjust your game to create more attraction

A. is a good option if you view yourself as an inflexible person. B. is for chumps.

I'd recomend C.,,, don't walk a way from stuff you want. Right now whatever you are doing is not doing it for her. Don't feel bad. She's being honest. She's helping you.

I've found that when women want to "walk", you not only let them, but you're supportive and respectful. That's a huge confidence display. It creates huge value of you in their eyes.

Now guys may think "Fuck,, what if I can't get her back". Lot of issues with that thought pattern, but the most important concept to get at this this point is this, if you don't have what it takes to get her back, you don't have the skills to keep her if she stayed. So nothing is lost here.

Create some distance and allure. Get rid of any needyness. Do whatever you think needs to be done to get this girl more attracted to you. That's what this whole forum is about. Using skill to get things we want to happen, to happen.

So if she wants space, I say give it to her. Let's not let our egos get in the way of our goals...

Good luck Bro!

Her ex has done a right number on her. From the sounds of it a total dick, ran off with someone else and then wanted her back, she gave him a chance and then he ran off again. knob. I think your right though, i treat her so well, stepping back will make her realize what she'd be losing.

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Tommy C

Dude, wanting freedom right after the end of a lengthy relationship is ABSOLUTELY understandable.

You're dating her, you seem to be having a good time, what's wrong with that?

Pushing a girl to have an exclusive relationship with you is extremely AFC - it says you're afraid that someone else will come by and snatch her away. You can either be afraid of this, or accept it, and do everything in your power to BE THAT GUY.

Just focus on continuing to build rapport and attraction. Talk about things that invoke emotion. Take your time. See some other girls while you're at it. (You can bet she's dating around now that she's free, or at the very least, seriously considering the option to.)

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You know your right nothing is wrong with it, i am having a good time.

Good words man. your right though, it is afcish. Obviously old habits die hard. Back to club!

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Tommy C

Have you simply been romantic with her, or have you also been intimate?

I'm in the same boat. I am sort of seeing this girl for the past month. We've made out and a little bit more. I work at a club and saw a guy kiss her, 3 diff guys drag her acroos the bar by hand to buy her drinks or w/e and a bouncer told me that some guy had his hand on er ass when they left. I called her on it, and her reason was that we hadnt talked about what we were so i said i want to be exclusive which i guess is kind of stupid. plus i fucked a chick 2 days b4 that.

She pisses me off cause she takes so long to respond to my texts. I have oneitits so ive been talking to loads of girls to try and cure me but i actually really want her. The last text i sent her was on sunday saying "well i want to continue hanging out with you and if things go forward then so be it." she didnt respond.

We had loose plans to hang out this wed coming up but i figured if she texts or phones me i will say i didnt hear from her and i made other plans but i can do something on (certain day). I started talking to her best friend too but never once mentioning her.

Whats the best way that I should go about this to get control back?
Should I not msg her at all if she doesnt get a hold of me on wednesday?
Should I try to fuck her but no lovey mushy shit so she feels attached and i look like i dont care?

Appreciate the response

I think she is being genuine, and thats no swipe at you. You are doing nothing wrong, she just needs a little time to do her thing. She seems she knows what your all about, she likes it, and when she sorts her thoughts out, she will be willing to get involved with you. Just be patient with her, keep doing what your doing, and dont pressure her.

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"Who the f**k is Fanning?"