Hi all,
I've got an interesting situation here - I met this girl one night and there was definite chemistry there, she seemed very keen, there was kino and I isolated her from her friends and had a good 1-to-1 conversation... the only issue was, it felt like she was coming on very strong (with a relationship vibe) and I had just moved to the city so didn't want a commitment yet. I had the 'bright' idea of intentionally putting her in the friend zone so I could meet her friends instead. We went out for coffee once and the conversation was great but I didn't make a move. She sent me a couple of texts that indicated she was thinking about me (such as mentioning I looked like an actor in a movie she was watching, or wishing me happy new years), but I didn't pursue anything further (my mistake).

Recently I've been chatting to her a bit on the net and feel that I'd be more than happy to get involved in a relationship with her now, except I'm not sure whether I've killed my chances. I tried organising to see a movie with her a few weeks ago and she ended up bailing because she was doing something with her girl friends instead (although i don't think it was clear that I wanted the movie to be more than a 'friends' arrangement).

Anyway, I know most people are skeptical about the friend zone, but can I pull it off if there was a definite initial attraction from her side? What do you think is the best way of doing this?

I'm actually a huge advocate of befriending the girl first and getting out of it.

It's a community myth that getting out of LJBF zone is hard.

Well, since your post is a while ago, why dont you update on how you're doing. If not, best of luck if she's lucky enough to already be with you!

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IAm-Me - Just read another one of your posts. Sounds like we've got pretty similar views.

The friend - then girlfriend/playmate used to be my primary seduction method (before game).

And now even with game, I notice i accidentally hit my friends attraction switches, and start getting strong signals.

Luckily for them, I like to be surrounded by attractive female friends. So they're safe for now

The only thing you need to do to turn friend into potential girlfriend, is DHV a lot. Demonstrate enough value and you'll start getting shit tests and as they automatically slip into qualification mode. Pass those & your back into normal game.

Wolfus.

Good to hear that I'm still in with a chance... I guess the issue now is that she might have felt burned when I didn't respond to her chasing me, so now it feels like she's playing hard to get - if I ignore her for a couple of weeks it doesn't really help much, I still need to initiate things again otherwise she won't contact me first.

The DHV is a bit of a hard one SPAM, since I've only been living in this city for a short time and she has been here forever. As a result, she always has lots of friends and social engagements keeping her busy, while I'm still meeting people and don't yet have a strong social circle of likeminded friends... If we were in my home city it would be completely different, as I've always got people contacting me to go out and have quite a few reliable friends to boost my value.

I had drinks at my place a couple of weeks ago and she arrived with a couple of her friends, they didn't stay for longer than 30 mins before leaving for another friend's 21st... I'm sure my apartment demonstrated high value as it's very well situated and well-furnished, and they were impressed by it, but then the turnout for drinks wasn't as big as I expected (due to other parties on the same night) and she noticed that my SPAM didn't even turn up (which surprised me as well at the time, she was running late and only arrived back after we'd all left my apartment) - so that couldn't have been good for my value. I'm starting to feel like I'm chasing too much, but if I stop chasing then nothing happens.

Thanks for the advice, interesting to hear what others think of the matter!

I'm sorta having the same problem. This girl I used to be into was not into me, so I didn't pursue it and sure enough, she is texting me now and stuff. I don't think I am in the LJBF zone, but if I am, it's barely in, and I want to get out of it fast. How do I get out of the LJBF zone? I know I don't have oneitis and I got a couple other girls' numbers recently, but how can I make this one work?

Quite possibly spot on there. I'd contact her occasionally over 2-3 weeks, through minor ways such as commenting on a facebook status, quick msn conversation etc.

Maybe a text, or a phone call here and there.

Generally though, don't go out your way to speak to her. Stick to a "Just passing through and noticed you" kinda vibe.

And make sure everything you do is a DHV. Don't comment on a facebook status and say something meaningless or standard.

Don't ring her unless your DHVing thoroughly throughout. But again remember, if your displaying that much value, she will shit test you, so be ready.
Ah yeah, I totally relate here. It's harder to DHV without the props we take for granted in our home towns.

No matter though. You've got all you need inside.

I personally never like to rely on anything other than myself to DHV. External objects are merely icing on the cake. Incidentally, This also makes you a lot smoother

For this to work, you need a two-tonged approach. Passive, and active DHV's.

1. Passive - These are your values, traits, beliefs, and character. The way you do things, the words you say, the way you say them. How you generally interact with the world around you. You do all these things constantly. If you perfect this, you barely need any active DHV's. Literally the girls will all open you.

Some of my main one's include:

Traits: Leader of men (Always lead the interaction), At peace (Always relaxed, never phased, smiling)

Values: Honesty, Fairness, Truth, Courage, Freedom. I display these by the way i react to situations. If someone turns to me and said "Just managed to steal that guys cigarettes " I'd turn round and neg him. That's not the way I roll, and that's not what i reward.

Useful Body Language: Relaxed shoulders, Speaking from the stomach/chest, always taking the most chilled out position in the area. Slow speach, Slow movements. Holding my drink at my side, not like a shield in front of me.

Word Play: Make everything you say interesting. For example, I just wanted to say hey to a girl i'd met the night before. So i text her "Morning my black forest gateaux." Much more interested than "Hi, Whats up?"

The rule here, get creative, what you say barely matters, as long as the meaning is still there.

Your goal is to get the message across AND get her out of that "zombie" state most people are in. You want her to go "What..?" to herself, with a smile across her face. Before she laughs and replies.

Interesting words: Thoroughly, Marvelous, Authentic, Excellent, Incredible. Really, anything out the ordinary. As long as you don't sound like a pretentious prick. Mix it with "normal lingo", like my example above. Don't go all out, all the time.

The final thing I incorporate is wit. This one's hard to fake. Live in the moment, literally be fully focused on the situation and get your headspace into a place of clarity. It will just flow. Hawkins level of "Reason" is the level of epic humor. Metaphors and wordplay are my personal favourites. Girls aren't into knob jokes.

That + occasion DHV story, and your set. This is why inner game rocks.
Sounds like somewhat of a DLV, but nothing major. Maybe even not, if the friends 21st was pretty important.

If you need to leave it a few weeks to appear less needy, then by all means take a break for a while and occasionally DHV in passing, as mentioned above.

The key thing to remember here is, every situation is recoverable. All it takes is enough DHV.

If you pump the attraction in anyone high enough, they'll always forgive and forget past mistakes. Your too high value not to have in their lives. Plus they'll backwards rationalize anything negative not to count

Take it easy.

Wolfus

Wolfus, thanks for that!!