So I met this girl a couple of months ago in one of my college classes. I bust her balls all the time and I have her laughing almost the whole time I talk to her. I asked her out a couple times, but she told me that she has a boyfriend. We don't really talk outside of class, but we do study together and walk with each other from class usually. It seems like she is having a great time every time I talk to her, but it just never escalates..I know most of you are just going to tell me to forget about her and move on, but I don't have a problem getting other girls its just one of those cases of wanting what I can't have.. I guess you could say I've been put into the friend zone, but as I said we don't really hang out we just talk in class. I have two classes with her now and there are a couple of girls that seem interested in me in both of them and I was thinking about sitting with them instead of this girl, but that would basically mean I'd never get to talk to her. Do you think it is a good idea to try to play the jealousy card? Should I be more sincere since the ball busting cocky attitude isn't really working? What else can I do?

It seems as if you have her attracted, but attraction is nothing without a real connection. How many deeper more meaningful conversations do you have with this girl? Do you actually know her or do you just like that she laughs at your jokes? I think "playing the jealousy card" if you put it that way is like planning on doing something cruel to someone else. There is nothing wrong with talking to other girls, but to plot plans of action so that one will like you and play games like that I feel is immature and needy. I think you have a chance with this girl, but you must find out who she really is, and she must want to find more of who you really are. As far as you thinking that you can't talk to her if you sit with the other girls. I don't understand. Why can't you talk to all 3 of them? To answer your question simply. First step find out who she actually is and if you like it, second and I know some people on here would disagree with me, but if you decide you really like her you must put your balls on the line and go for it. I personally feel that the men that don't even finish the job and at least try to get what they want will always regret it. If you get rejected at that point then so be it. A real man's love spreads to all women not just one, so a rejection is really just nature saying hey redirect your focus over here and look at all the other amazing women I have to offer. Life is bliss.

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You have balls yes, but how often do you actually use them?

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I actually do know this girl and we have had some deeper conversations, but usually we just joke around with each other. Yesterday we both went to see a seminar given by a monk for one of our classes. She made a really long study guide for our test coming up and she gave me a copy and told me that I owe her. I was talking about a really nice restaurant that I went to recently and she said "feel free to take me there, I'm available tomorrow night." I kind of just brushed it off, but I ended up leaving the seminar early and she left because I did, even though the part she wanted to hear was coming up. As I was walking back to my place I told her I would take her out but its not my thing to take out girls with boyfriends and she responded with "yeah I don't know how he'd feel about it either, but we really aren't technically in a relationship we just see each other so I do what I want." We are studying together on Monday night so I was thinking about just telling her Id take her out on Wednesday after our test, but I really don't want to spend money and time with her if shes going to stay with her boyfriend. Do you think I should go for it since she is the one pushing the issue of going out? I don't think I'm going to call her today, but I was thinking about taking her out on Wednesday after our test. What do you think?

It seems that she really is interested in you to me. Seems as if shed even be willing to leave the other guy to be with you. She is going out of her way to get to know you a little better. It looks to me like you are holding the cards and she is waiting to see what you will do with the hand she has given you. I definetely think you should try, but just remain cool and relaxed about it. It looks to me like all you really need to do is escalate a bit. Looks like she could want a date to feel like shes not thinking about leaving the guy for some random dude, but a guy she actually knows. I think if you keep exciting her more than the other guy then you have a good chance. You should have no reason to feel bad if she leaves him because he is obviously not exciting her enough to help her grow as a person.

As far as what the date should be just do something fun. Tell her you want to try out the cars at putt n ride or go throw loaves of bread at ducks at the park, or go volunteer at the animal shelter. Whatever you find fun, just go to that and happen to bring her along this time. She already wants to be part of your life all you gotta do is make it a bit easier for her.

_________________
You have balls yes, but how often do you actually use them?

Self help.. that's mental masterbation. Self Destruction.. now we're getting somewhere!
"http://www.confidencedynamics.com"- science backed confidence coaching

I would ignore her in class for a few days and go talk to the other women...Make them laugh and have a good time with you. That will make her remember when you used to make her laugh and have fun with you. (jealousy).(dont answer her calls, or study with her) If she really wants you (which it sounds like she does) she will try much harder to attract you. So you can relax and let her come to you in a few days. Then take her out, and close the deal. If that doesnt work, look into some boyfriend destroyers. It sounds like they are just "seeing each other"... you can work off of that one really nicely.

Can you offer her more than her boyfriend does? If you answer 'no', then you're going to destroy two decent relationships, should you 'succeed'. If you think so, it doesn't matter. She's going to make that decision.



Are your deep conversations logical or emotional? (Should be the latter)

Are you escalating kino? (Should be yes)

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