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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 10:17 am 
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AOL: Imdbombboarder
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Hey guys,

So i'm maybe breaching outside the help of Pickup Artists, but I have a bit of a dilemma, may Cinnamon can help me too.

So I have been enjoying learning how to be more confident socially, and get general help with women in my life. There is a girl i've known for a few years who i've really liked. I widdled my way somehow out of the friends zone, and she ended up being my valentines day date.

Anyways, I talked about the possibility of dating with her, and she expressed that she liked me alot, and had been thinking about it as well. I asked about her past couple of relationships, and she said that she broke up with the most recent because he was a bit too clingy, but the one before that she broke up with because he wasn't really involved and physical enough.

SO, we ended the conversation with her telling me that she really likes me, but is still deciding if she wants a boyfriend at the moment(she's having some family problems, a divorce, that she's been dealing with), so i'm definatly giving her that space.

Part of me thinks that I should play a bit of hard to get, just don't be too available, but then again I also want to make sure i'm on her mind, and that she doesn't decide she wants to be friends too easy or quickly.

I am not the kind of guy to go sleeping around, so guys on this forum that do a ton, and are against LTR's, I please ask you to respect my post. I plan on further studying the tools of pickup, not to get with women, but to just become more socially confident. This girls is a definate 8/9, and I have very strong feelings for her.

I want her to make this decision on her own ofcourse and have it come from the heart, but I want to ensure that I give myself the best possible chance of a positive outcome. Any tips guys?

Thanks,

Imdbombboarder

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 5:47 pm 
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Quote:
I widdled my way somehow out of the friends zone, and she ended up being my valentines day date.
Congrats on this. Major kudos.
Quote:
Anyways, I talked about the possibility of dating with her, and she expressed that she liked me alot, and had been thinking about it as well.
Another good sign for you. Ask her out for real. Make it official.
Quote:
I asked about her past couple of relationships, and she said that she broke up with the most recent because he was a bit too clingy, but the one before that she broke up with because he wasn't really involved and physical enough.
She just told you what she DID NOT LIKE and what she DOES LIKE in a BF.

You should be more physical with her, and not be clingy with her.
Quote:
SO, we ended the conversation with her telling me that she really likes me, but is still deciding if she wants a boyfriend at the moment(she's having some family problems, a divorce, that she's been dealing with), so i'm definatly giving her that space.
She said that she is deciding if she wants a BF at the moment because you
obviously have not made the move to make you and her a COUPLE yet.
Just ask her to be your GF in a way that is not too "chumpy". Just tell her,
"You like me, I like you, we want to date each other, you're my girl now."

See how it does not give her a choice... you are being socially physical with
her. And later, you can be physically physical with her. Be sure and not
to be clingy with her. If she says that she wants to go here or there with
her friends just tell her, "have fun I'm going here and here with my boys.
call me when you get back and we can go do something together."

This shows that you trust her, and are not clingy at all. Also, by you saying
"call me when you get back and we can go do something together" shows
her that you DO WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH HER. Not clingy, it's just
viewed by her that you value her as someone who you do care about.

If she says that she is tired and is going home, just tell her,
"Alright. I'll come over and we can just chill and watch a movie until you
fall asleep." Then hang up and go over there.

By saying this, it conveys to her that you are not all about having sex with
her, and you will be there for her so she has someone that she can fall
asleep in his arms. Girls love this shit. It's an emotional connector. She will
feel emotionally connected to you because she fell asleep in your arms while
listening to your heart-beat. Her heart-beat will go in sync with your heart
therefore adding the connection to you even stronger.

The thing that you should do, is just be there for her like a BF would be
for her. Give her hugs and kisses. Do not give her advice otherwise you be
in the friend zone again... You know this I'm sure.
Quote:
Part of me thinks that I should play a bit of hard to get, just don't be too available, but then again I also want to make sure i'm on her mind, and that she doesn't decide she wants to be friends too easy or quickly.
Even though her parents are divorcing and shit, she needs a BF more than
ever so she has someone that can be there for her emotionally and shit.

You need to become her BF soon. Otherwise there will be another guy who
gets her affection and is THERE for her when she is going through these
hard times. You need to ACT like her BF now, more than ever. Offer her
empathy, emotional connection, a shoulder to lay on, someone to cuddle
with. Just make sure that you don't act all "chumpy" while you are doing
all this.

Tease her some while you are comforting her.
Quote:
I want her to make this decision on her own of course and have it come from the heart, but I want to ensure that I give myself the best possible chance of a positive outcome. Any tips guys?
Girls justify their actions with logic but make their decisions based on
emotional connections. How you make them FEEL is more important than
what you SAY. I hope this makes sense.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:30 am 
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That helps me a ton thank you! I used to have this problem with thinking openers etc only work in certain situations. A few months ago, I would of said some of these things you were talking about wouldn't work with her, she's a differen tcase etc etc, but I know your right. Being clingy drives girls away probably more easily than anything.

She hasn't called or texted me since Valentines day, and I havent talked with her. I'll probably give her a few more days, then call her up and take her to a nice lookout or something and lay it on the line.

By "dating", I did mean that I want to ask her to be my girlfriend

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:35 am 
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Quote:
She hasn't called or texted me since Valentines day, and I havent talked with her. I'll probably give her a few more days, then call her up and take her to a nice lookout or something and lay it on the line.
I would give it until Tuesday, then CALL her.
Quote:
By "dating", I did mean that I want to ask her to be my girlfriend
LOL I knew that's what you meant... XD

_________________
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| Sexual Decoder System (Yes, that one) **PDFs / Videos** |
I have reviewed A LOT of PUA books, videos, etc. I only upload the ones that have the best information.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:39 am 
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Lol alright good,

So I mean I could have asked her out on Valentines day, guess i'm happy I didn't though now. So if she says she really can't give me an answer right now when I ask her, what do I do then? I really like her so i'm not ready to give up thats forsure.

She's kind of shy, only had a few boyfriends so it's probably a bit of a bigger deal to her then it is to me. She told me she's been talking to her friends about it(her friends love me), and so I feel like I want to give her time, but also feel that giving her too much time is the complete chump thing to do.

Still can't figure out why she isn't really talking to me very much, thats a bit of a mystery

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~Kevin~


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:48 am 
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To give you a better idea, she's the kind of girl that likes being called beautiful, instead of having it feed her ego and turning her away. She's definatly a sap for romanticism

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~Kevin~


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 1:16 am 
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Quote:
To give you a better idea, she's the kind of girl that likes being called beautiful, instead of having it feed her ego and turning her away. She's definatly a sap for romanticism
OK. This is a kind of good thing for you. Take her to do something romantic
when you get ready to ask her to be your girl. Don't tell her what you have
planned. Just take her there and ask her to be your girl.
Quote:
Still can't figure out why she isn't really talking to me very much, thats a bit of a mystery
Not really talking to you as in talks to you when you initiate the conversation
but now she don't initiate the conversation first?

If this is the case, then shy might be shy because she realizes that she now
likes you more than she realized at first. And now she is shy/nervous because
she don't know what to expect from you. She obviously wants to hook up
with you, and now she is starting to feel the butterflies in her stomach.

Her friends (loving you) are the ones who have helped her realize that she
does in fact want to get with you. Thank them after you two have hooked
up (thank them in your mind).

So, in closing, she has the butterflies which is why she is not talking to you
a whole lot right now. If you start the convo, she will reciprocate. But don't
expect her to initiate the conversation first. It is now time for you to make
this girl YOURS...

If you do get the "can't give you an answer right now" response, I have to
be honest here... you do not want to hear this... if she says this, then you
can guarantee that she is going to give you the big fat "NO".. just be ready
in case you get some girl that says this to you. This girl seems like the
type that will not tell you this, so do not have it in your mind just be ready
for it if it does come up.

_________________
| NLP eBooks etc | SEDUCTION eBooks etc |
| Sexual Decoder System (Yes, that one) **PDFs / Videos** |
I have reviewed A LOT of PUA books, videos, etc. I only upload the ones that have the best information.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 4:31 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2008 8:15 am
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Hey I really appreciate your help, you've given me a lot to consider! Thanks for your help, i'll let you know how it goes!

Kevin

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~Kevin~


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 7:43 am 
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AOL: greg1gdclothing
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all thumbs up for the go for it an she just gave you a ANSWER SHEET of wat she wants

she is def all for it

id just make thing offical if i were you but first yea let here handle somthing an still be around for her you know


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:29 am 
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I know you said that she could just be being a bit anti-social with me because her paradigm has changed, however its kind of weird, its something more.

Even when I talk to her, she either doesn't respond, or is very withdrawn. God I hate women.

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~Kevin~


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