"I feel I can talk to you openly"



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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 3:25 pm 
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Today I hung out with three people -- one of those being a girlfriend of one of the guys. After they all leave my house, the girl texts me:
"Thanks for inviting me over to your house. Sorry I was sick today, and a little disappointed."
"It's just that [guy] suggested we watch a movie after [school event] on Tuesday and I guess he forgot."
"Its not that I don't enjoy hanging with you guys, it's just..it's V-Day. lol I'm sorry for hounding you with my problems. I feel I can talk to you openly :D"

This is the first time she's ever told me she's been having relationship problems with my friend (but I've heard about it through other friends), so it's not like I'm her emotional tampon. She's been giving me hints, and saying things like "why am I dating him".

Point is, I'm not going to let her mix-signal me and start telling me about her problems while my friend sits around and has her for the sake of having. At the same time, taking your friend's girlfriend is a shitty thing to do, isn't it? What should I do?


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:08 pm 
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1) Don't game your mate's gf.
2) Any girl who says they can talk to you openly, the alarm bells should start ringing! You've built up too much rapport/trust and are assuming the role of her little brother.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:23 pm 
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Quote:
1) Don't game your mate's gf.
2) Any girl who says they can talk to you openly, the alarm bells should start ringing! You've built up too much rapport/trust and are assuming the role of her little brother.
In this instance, I don't think that being her brother is such a terrible thing, since you shouldn't be thinking of romancing your friend's girlfriend anyway. I say you have an opportunity here to help your friend. Does he have game? Does he know his girlfriend is slipping away? Does he care to do anything about it? You care about both your friend and this girl, right? In my opinion, the adult thing to do here would be to help them become a better couple together.

Allow me to forestall the protesters before they chime in. Your game doesn't have to be about YOU getting the girl every time. If your friend was your wing, you'd help him with his girl trouble, right? So help him anyway, even if he's "just" a friend.

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Some vices miss what is right because they are deficient, others because they are excessive, in feelings or in actions, while virtue finds and chooses the mean.
Aristotle, Ethica Nichomachea


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:43 pm 
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Their relationship doesn't sound like its going anywhere if the girl is telling you this. She's been telling other people the same thing. You should let your friend know what she's been saying.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:55 pm 
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Don't game your friend's girlfriend. It doesn't matter if their relationship is going downhill or they breakup, you are his friend. You don't have to tell your friend his girl is confiding in you, just give him tips to straighten it out with her. The last thing you want is to lose a brother over a girl.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 8:04 pm 
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Thanks guys. I didn't game her in the first place, and now I have no intention of it now. I've known this dude for 6 months, met him 4 years ago,and I don't want to lose a bro. He's done no wrong by me, and he doesn't deserve anything bad.


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