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| arcktik | PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 7:51 am | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2008 2:21 am Posts: 42 | | Say you've been seeing this girl for a while but you don't see your personalities connecting the way you want them to. In your head you pretty much know that it will never work out and that in the future you will always be unhappy if you stay with this person. Is it the logical thing to throw in the towel while your still in the early part of the relationship? You still like this girl a lot tho.
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| Trauma | PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 10:17 am | |
| Offline | | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Tue Feb 03, 2009 10:50 am Posts: 25 | | I've had this happen to me a few times. I'm diggin this girl, maybe some oneitis going on in my head, whatever...but I can tell it isn't working out. If you feel that way, and it looks to stay that way, odds are it is that way. Do both of you a favor and just let her know. There really isn't a point in dragging something out to try and get to some unreachable point of happiness if you can already tell that it's not going to happen. Be cool with her about it, more then likely you can keep her as a friend if anything.
If you do have it for her really bad, and friends just wouldn't be good enough, then my best advice is to just give it some time and stay away from her for a few until you get over it. My first oneitis girl broke my heart pretty bad...we both knew it wouldnt work out, but I couldnt be friends with her. I stayed away from her for years dude. Well, after some time, I got over it completely. Come to find out down the road she ends up marrying one of my best friends. I end up being in their wedding, and everything is cool as all hell with me and her now. Time heals all wounds player.
Now, I'm not saying that it would take you remotely that long to have that happen, just saying that it's a pretty common problem, and telling you what I did to get over it. I hope I was some help to you brother.
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| samex | PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 6:04 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Zealot |  | Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 5:43 am Posts: 393 Location: Toronto | | Hey arcktik,
I think the situation here is your mind frame. Have you asked yourself what do you want from this girl? And if your answer is a relationship, which seems evident as your thinking about personalities and what not, you find her not compatible with you, then just break off right away.
Before heading into a situation ask yourself what do you want from it, and then later see if you got. It keeps you on track and makes things a lot easier.
Samex
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| mPUA Savior | PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 9:19 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Addict | Joined: Fri Aug 22, 2008 4:32 pm Posts: 246 | | yes it is......the early part of the relationship is when you get all infatuated with each other....and as time lengthens those feelings dwindle and thats when you get your most breakups is when those feelings are gone and people do stay toghther out of connection and liking of the other person..
now id say if you dont feel that connection with that girl and are unsure if you want to be toghther.....i wouldnt count on discovery and a relationship changing event with her anytime soon and would break it off before she gets to attached and gets really pissed at you for wasting her time
if your gonna decide to stay your really wasting your time and hers....cause your not wanting this to begin with..... _________________ How You Approach Is A Matter Of How You Feel "mPUA Savior"
You Live What You've Learned
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| Trevino | PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 9:59 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Addict | Joined: Wed May 28, 2008 10:37 pm Posts: 215 | | I have been in similar situations.
One woman I dated for a long time. She was a great woman with lots of things going on for her. It wasnt until a friend and I reconnected and she hung out with us that things changed. After we all hung out my friend commented that my gf and I were more like companions rather than lovers. That statement really stood out to me and after I took a long look at my relationship with my gf. My friend was right. Theres nothing wrong with being with someone that you enjoy as a friend, but there has to be more, there has to be some passion or it wont last. That being said, I had to cut it loose. It was hard but in the long run it was best for both parties.
On the flip side of that, I had another woman that I fell for pretty hard. She was a great one too. With her the red flags were a bit more obvious and I knew that some of those things would never change. I have never known anyone to really change too much. Just try to look into the future and see if you could be happy with the things the way they are now, bc more than likely the little things, the things that are bothersome or worrisome are only going to get bigger.
Funny that I just said this earlier but its just as true here.
You cant put a square peg in a round hole. But you can put a round peg in a square hole, just be prepared that it might be loose and wobble.
Having said all of that, nothing is perfect, dont have any expectations and you will be a lot happier.
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