I'm looking forward to it, but at the same time, I'm not.



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PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:02 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:11 am
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I don't have much experience dating. I was really shy back in high school (I'm 24 now) so I didn't interact with the opposite sex all that often. Most of my encounters with females, if not all, was just for sex. I hit a dry spell and haven't been with a woman for a while.

Anyway, since I'm not into clubbing and my job doesn't allow me to meet many available women in my peer group, I put up a profile on a dating website. I don't feel lame for doing it because online dating is just another tool to meet people.

I'm contacted by an attractive woman, and we share messages back and forth and actually plan to meet in a couple days. She's a year older than me, which I don't have a problem with. But I feel awkward and a bit apprehensive. For one thing, I don't go out on many dates, but I have been studying what I should and shouldn't do so I don't think I'll make a fool of myself. Not only that, what if she's completely opposite of what I'm attracted to? I'm not very good at ending stuff and I'm afraid I'll have to go through with the whole thing and suffer.

I know one has to be aware of fatties posing at slim girls, and she's not a fattie. There aren't just head shots, and each picture seems to be taken at a different time (different hairstyles) so it's a good chance she looks the way she does in her photos.

Anyone have any horror (or good) stories about online dating? Would you leave her if she turns out to be a total bore from the beginning or finish out the date?


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:49 pm 
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First of all, what you are feeling is completely normal. I have been online meeting girls for the past 8 years off and on, until I found my girlfriend. Anyways, you can "what if" yourself into the next century. The only way to know is to go on the date.

There is nothing wrong when you're on a date, and it's not working out to say. "Listen, you seem like a really awesome person, but I can tell we probably aren't going to get along. The reason is (insert). Be polite and just leave at that point.

The thing with online dating is being very direct about your intetions and what you want from her. This can be personality type, relationship type, interests, must haves, can't haves, etc.

I can tell you some serious horror stories. I've even posted some things about them on the forum. Girls posing as being hotter than they are, etc. Or some girls lying about other things. However, men do it too online. It's an honor system so take it as it comes.

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR DATE! 8)

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 1:49 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:11 am
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Good to know my feelings aren't too extreme. Thanks for the tip about how to make a polite exit.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 10:47 am 
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Is it just the getting out your worried about or is there more?
Normally people dislike the inital hello, simply because you are meeting someone for the first time who you already know a lot about and it is essentally a very pressured situation because your both trying to prove you are as attractive as you were online.
The best advice I can give you is to go for a very relaxed date, start with something very public (coffee shop?) to get used to being physically with eachother, something active (shopping is always easy), something calm (a movie at this point is fine) and something to end (a walk around the park/beach/*insert local attraction*). By doing things in this order you are slowly conditioning yourself to be used to being with eachother and there is a slow buildup from being together to being alone.

Madals


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