I have a question for all fellow newbies; Have you always been unsuccessful with women and can you trace back to when your problems with the opposite sex first started?

I've been doing quite a bit of soul searching recently and I have realised that the problems I have with approaching girls nowadays are a result of teenage issues that I never dealt with and allowed them to carry on into adulthood.

At school, I was always shy around girls and I remember it seeming unthinkable that I would ever actually ask a girl out. I allowed fear to control me early on and never once tried stepping outside of my comfort zone. And guess what? I'm exactly the same now and I'm in my mid twenties. Looking back, I'm sure I could have had girlfriends at school if I'd just....asked. I was always skipping school too and as a result I missed out on quite a few invites to parties etc. I never took the plunge at the age when most guys first get laid or get their first girlfriend and I feel like I got left behind. Fact is, I've never really had many girl "friends" either. I've just never really allowed girls into my life at all and so I feel uncomfortable around them and intimidated by them now.

However, I think the first big step in getting over a problem is acceptance. I can't help feeling down about my lack of experience with girls and I wish I'd made more of an effort with them when I was younger. But thats all in the past. Now that I have revisited some of my teenage angst and faced up to it I can move on. Maybe I'm just a natural late starter!

I was alrite with girls until i went to sixth form, I was out of my depth, there was much better looking girls and alot more alpha males that i felt like i didnt have a chance against. I now know that i shud of just grew some balls and had a better attitude, because i missed out on alot of experiences.

I was in high school and was pretty much shutdown all the time so I just kind of said "eh fuck it" since then I have been trying to regain confidence and all that stuff. So today I took initiative and decided i'm not going to fix myself and decided its time to start learning and practicing. So pretty much to sum it all up it started in late middle school early high school when I fucked up big on a date

When I turned 16.

Before that I've had a few "girlfriends" and even a few kisses, but at the point of turning 16, when all the other guys starting to get into girls, and the girls started to grow fleshy sacks of fat on the front of their body I just fell off the damn lovetrain.

I just thought fuck it, that somehow, somewhere, sometime I would meet this special girl made for me and we would hit it off and get married, I believed that's how it was for everyone out there, a belief I carried way into my twenties.

Then I discovered this thing called "The Game" and I haven't looked back since.

Never really.. I think i'm slowly doing worse now... which is pretty bad!

Its a strange one for me.

When I was back in India (till the time I was 17), I was smooth with girls. Due to social and family constraints, nothing went beyond holding hands, but that was good enough.

I have found through my entire (short, 23 years of) life that I tend to do well in things (academics and works) when I am happy, as is the case with most people. And I tend to be happier when I am with someone.

Things became difficult for me when I moved to England, guess I was in awe (all superficial) of the totty culture that England supplied with. Its a shame, 'cos life has been so much better. And there is a bit of language barrier as well, although its not such a bigg issue. But there are simple things which could be construed as funny in my language are ridiculously unremarkable in English...just one of those things.

I can impress with my words, but I am no comedian.

Anyhoo...I tried to turn things around and did quite well last year (met someone and yada yada..). But since then things have changed, and I am trying to get back on the proverbial horse. Strangely, my success last year came soon after finishing the book, the game; coupled with a lot of charm and spare time.

Amen.

well for me its also difficult, i was born with holt oram syndrome- my right arm is a deformed and shorter- so thats my main "excuse"- ive always been fine with girls- when they get to know me they always thought i was hillairous- it was jsut the shy part- same with mei could never ask a girl out and i do regret some decisions...but last night I watched Sean Stephenson do a speech in D.Deangelo's talk and it inspired me. I will not be shy anymore... i will be proud and happy with who i am!

grade 9 i was pretty good.

then in grade 10 i thought i had herpes so i gave up basically for a year and half or so lmao, confidence in the shittter.

i figured out i didnt have herpes, it was hair follicle, apparently alot of guys have it. fuck i was so happy when i found out.

yeah so it basically started in grade 10 because i gave up. im kinda glad i thought i had herpes lmao....maybe if i didnt i would have been pretty good with girls and not have searched for something like this.

the glass is always half full

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Never
Not
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Hey man I live in England. Can you explain what you mean by totty culture? Do you mean there is more emphasis on girls and sex over here than back in India?

Well, partly Seeker.

More so in-your-face towards sand, snogging and endless sex, none of which is bad, as I realise.

Totty is a slang term for hot women, mostly exhuberated by their lack of money (hence less cloth used in their skirts ). Well simply put, over the top hot women in good clothes. Love them.

So yes, the attitude, and hence the perception and peer pressure makes living conditions in both India and England quite different. But more than peer pressure, its my own outlook which sometimes, ironically, makes me more introverted.

As they (dunno who) say: You can only go as high as you want to, and as low as you let yourself.