I'm in love with a girl,she's in the same class with me.I've been with her before...7 months. Now she know I like her,and she gives me lots of IOI's,she only talks with me on the messenger,and stuff like that, and started to call me every night since a few days ago,but yesterday she told me she doesn't like me,because I have some things that she hated before about me and I still have them,like when we're at school I stay around her to much and try hugs (or other kinds of kino) and she's like : "You shouldn't be hugging me that much because we're not together yet."

And she told me she only symphatized me,and she doesn't know if something will be between us too,but everything she does points out that she likes be,but she always tells me she doesn't (like she's jealous and stuff like that) . I tried being somehow arrogant and pretending I'm the cheef around here,but she hates guys that do that,so things like "hands off" only gets her to hate me more. She's like the opposite of the naughty girls u see in clubs with 10000 boys after her.

Anyway,I asked her on a date,after she subliminally told me,and after that actually told me she wanted to go out with me...but not because she misses me,but because she just wants to(it's holiday here,so we don't see each other at school) and she told me she's not sure...she doesn't want me to think it's a date,and I told her that I don't really want to go out as friends,and if there could be something between us,because she can't be with me because i still have those things about me,and maybe if i'll change she will want to be with me,but for now she just symphatizes me ,this date will be a real date,or else we won't go out,and she accepted,so tomorrow we're going on a date,but I don't know what to talk about,how my body language should be,because she's not like the other girls,and being somehow mean to her and demonstrating I'm somehow better than her don't work,but stuff like being leader of men works,but if she's involved,she gets pissed...and bad...so yeah...i don't know what to talk about,and how to behave at school and well,i really need someone's help. Please. The date's tomorrow and i don't know what to do,and how to behave with her from now on...and more important,don't get caught in the friend zone.

The following advice is given to women on a regular basis. I wish it was given to men too.

"[S]he's just not that into you."

"Don't change yourself for [her]. [S]he isn't worth not being true to yourself."

"[S]he is doing you a favor by not dating you. [S]he is making sure you're available for someone who will accept you as you are."

I think that those are what you need to hear.

She doesn't want to date you. She's said that already (a few times from what I gather). she doesn't want to date you because there are things about you that she doesn't want in a partner.

That's all you should need to hear. It will not work out between you two. Why do you keep trying to push it? All you're going to do is push her further away and seem needy.

Either keep her as just a friend or move on. She won't date ypu and it's not worth trying to change yourself for her.

Cinnamon

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Hey, mmmmm the way I see it:

I think you've had very few girlfriends in your life or maybe none. You are showing too much affection (hugs, etc) too early. She is right. I think she got a little scared.

The other thing is that you are not being yourself. Usually these kind of girls like low perfil guys, so try to end the ALFA male stuff, because it wont work here.

My Advice: Be yourself, try a date. If it doesent work, abort the mission. Dont try to be someone you are not man, that sucks, and she probably noticed that you are investing a great amount on energy in doing that.


See you.

no...you got it all wrong. She wants to date me,and she likes the way i've changed,and if i'm an alphamale like when I'm the leader of the boys and stuff like that,she digs that,and she told me,she symphatises me ,but i'm doing some stuff that she doesn't like,and if i change there may be a chance,but I know that i'm doing those things wrong,i need to be more playful,but without hugging and stuff like that I guess.

I need to interact with her without looking to pushy but still be playful with her,like when i go and talk to her and the people next to her,she has a feeling that i went there just to talk to her too,but sometimes she comes and hugs me and stuff like that ,so i think she likes me cause of this reason,and also because she is jealous on some of the girls i talk to,and she's always curious who i'm meeting with,if i tell her it's a girl.

And i just need a few stories and things like that,i'm not used to being so sociable,i used to be a kid that was only hanging around with the boys and playing lots of games(not a nerd,but somehow close) ,only starting to socialize more for like 2 years or something like that,i used to be very shy,and if i meed up with her,I don't feel like smiling,because i fear that i'll say the wrong stuff,and i don't actualy know what to talk with her,and how to be playful and non stressing. Could you give me some tips?Now i'm like the desperate guy that needs a hug from her,she likes me a little(simphatise) but i think i'm to needy and that creeps her out ,but sweet with her,and well,we get along fine,but i'm a little to pushy,and i think i'm not much of a talker,i ran out of ideas. could you tell me some interesting things that can amaze a girl,or keep her interested or stuff i could talk about on a date,or games i can play with her,and stuff like that .

I really want her bad,it's like I WANT TO DEMONSTRATE TO MYSELF THAT I CAN DO IT ! I need this .... She means a lot for me...

So now...i need some attraction stuff...I didn't build enough atraction,and i hope not to get stuck in friend zone....

I think I passed attraction to fast,and got all the way to comfort,and doing kino,and it's not good... so I need more atraction .

The date from tomorrow will be a good time I guess . But i need stories,games,jokes,tips,anything that helped you a lot.

Man, you dont need tips, jokes, sotries, or anything like that, you just told me that she was jelouse because you met friends (girls). What do you talk about with those girls? Just relax man, talk about whatever you like. A trip you made somewhere, something that happened to you someday, I dont know. Try to see if you have thing in common, and plan a second date from there. For example: "Do you like sushi?" "Yes" "Cool, we should eat sometime " Thats all. Just relax and let the conversation take its own course.

Of course you should add attraction to that. "I like your eyes" "I like it when you do this..." I dont know, just dont be needy. And the most important thing:

Ask her what she DOESENT like you are doing, and stop doing it. Tell her: Ok, I understand, I wont do it anymore, I will respect your decision.

Be yourself man, If this is really important for you, then try to do It the natural way, being yourself, and you will love it A LOT MORE than If you act, or use some shit to impress her.

Okay, strategy two then, tough love.
Yes, she does. Because you're playing her game. You're changing yourself just for her. Of course she likes it.
She would. Leader of Men is an attraction switch. This doesn't mean she wants to date you.
Again, you're playing her game. She's treating you like her puppet. Stringing you along with the CHANCE that she MIGHT date you if you change for her.
No. She KNOWS that's why you do it. That's why she's pulling this stuff on you.
...because, you know, girls never hug anybody unless they REALLY like them.
Because she hugs you and knows you're obsessed with her?
Naturally she would be. She's found a really fun toy. He'll do anything she wants just because she might date him. She doesn't want other girls around you. If you met other girls you might realize you don't have to put up with her shit.
All self-limiting beliefs. Stop letting yourself think that way. None of the matters.
Why do you want a girl who makes you feel like this? You shouldn't be walking on eggshells around a girl. You should be able to relax and have fun. Do you want to be worrying about what you're saying forever?
You are. So why do you let yourself end up like that?
No she doesn't. She thinks you're a fun toy.
No you're too needy and she uses that to make you jump through her endless hoops.
Yes, we can. But that's not going to fix this.
I noticed.
Do what? Be a girl's toy? Any boy can do that.
No you don't.
That's really too bad. You don't mean much at all to her.
No. You need a spine. You need a good, solid kick in the ass to show you that this girl is playing you. I hope I’ve provided that.

You know what helped me a lot? Realizing there are LOTS of boys out there (I’m a girl, I game boys) and that I don’t have to put up with any crap. I’m too high-value for that crap.

Cinnamon

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well....maybe your right,but not as much as you think. maybe she steps on me a little,but not to much,because I'm not letting her. If she exagerates,I shut her off,and she realizes she does wrong,and she respects me for that.

She's a nice girl,I mean every girls takes advantage of these things.
By "I fear I may say the wrongs stuff" I mean I care about her and I don't wanna mess it up,but if I had something sure that would work,I wouldn't be so stressed. I really don't wanna mess it up.

The thing is that I know where I stand,but I still wanna "fix myself" so that she starts to like me,but with no riscs...I'm patient,I know you're thinking I'm to needy and desperate,maybe I am,but if I would have an idea of how to behave around her so that she would fall in love with me...or start to like me...I would be more confident and wouldn't be so desperate.

But still...everyone told me she was messing with me and stuff,but no one gave me any solutions but to leave her,she's not worth it. Maybe she's not,but I still wanna try,I wanna make her like me and not be an asshole with her,because I tried that,and it didn't work,and she's really a nice girl and doesn't treat me like shit,I mean we get along just fine,but she pushes me away because she doesn't like me....yet...but doesn't know if she will like me if I don't loose the needy stuff.

So someone please give me some solutions...The date is tomorrow,I need some good stuff ,stories,games,anything. And someone tell me how to behave with her so I don't look to needy and pushy,but still build attraction. And how my body language should be,and stuff like that .

I need the date tomorrow if I'm gonna make this happen,and I want to. Doesn't matter why,I just need your help. I know when a girl treats me like shit,and I treat them back when they do,but I really want something to happen between us. So help me make her get attracted to me . Please.

Just get over it. Oneitis will get you nowhere.

It hasn't worked yet, and that won't change.

Just permanently freeze her out and move on

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

If I am honest, I realised this was a lost cause as soon as I read that she said she likes you out of sympathy, I mean I may have read this wrong but you wrote it twice so I will assume you meant it. If this is the case then without a doubt this ship has sailed, you need to move on and realise there are plenty of other girls out there.

This girl is giving you so many tests its unreal, and you fail every single one of them, she tells you you hug her too much? Then don't hug her, hell, hug every girl you know except her if you have to!

I know it sounds somewhat harsh, but you need to take the wool from over your eyes and listen to the advice that is right in front of you, Cinnamon keeps telling you what you need to hear but you seem to brush it aside like you know all the answers, which to be honest, you clearly don't. This girl just isn't in to you, she just enjoys controlling you.

Instead of proving to yourself that you can do this, prove to yourself that you have some balls, move on to someone else, go out, improve your game and eventually things will begin to be very easy for you. Personally though, I say get over this girl, it clearly isn't going to happen and even if she did agree to date you it wouldn't last.

You should never have to change who you are for someone, sure The Game teaches you to improve certain aspects of yourself, but you should never deny the real you.

- SC