Certainly regained control of the frame, & left this girl with a lot of emotions after our last converastion, but could have left the impression of being selfish & pressuring also.

I’m in a situation where I have been hanging out with this girl that got out of a relationship & says she doesn’t want to get right back into another, but sure likes me around i've given a good amount of time. I recently asked her where we were at, she didn’t know & did have a time table.

When I didn’t get any answers I told her very sincerely I couldn’t keep seeing her even as friends because while it was great to be with her, it was also pretty crappy not to be able to turn the other feelings off, & I was moving on before I got any deeper.She said she had feelings for me to & cried a little. Towards the end though she got defensive and said she felt like I was pressuring her. I told her she had my number & could call when she got things figured out is how it was left.

Getting opinions some say I am selfish & am forcing her. Part of me wants to send her an email clarifying why it would be good to take some time to give her some space, (which I forgot to make her as the reason), & also try to paint me in a little better light as not pressuring her & as selfish. Not sure if that is even possible now though.

I feel like if I contact her now I lose the frame & it's probably better to keep the emotional frame as the last interaction, good or bad impression, there is a lot of tension created that will keep me on her mind, although selfish pressurer, not so good. What do you guys think. Leave it at that or clarify? Also you think she calls? & if she doesn't call is there a time frame that I can call in that wouldn't look needy or should this be the last stand. I was thinking maybe pocket the "giving her some space" & call her & ask her if she had had enough in a few weeks.

She texted me tonight. It was nothing major, I had told her I needed another couch & she texted me that there was one for sale in her apartment complex. Of course I would have to call her to get the number. 1st thing I thought though is she was trying to reigniate conversation, wouldn't you say?

Whoa!!

Holy needy, hurtful ultimatums SPAM!

Jesus man, what made you decide to do this? Are you hard up to get married by a certain date to save on your taxes or something?

I just completely fail to see how this does any good what so ever. What are you trying to pressure her into? a Relationship? Sex?

I'm sorry man but this screams "I'm horribly insecure and needy... I must have you jump through my ridiculous hoop in order to feel somewhat reaffirmed that you actually like me and arent going to leave me... and I have chosen to pressure you in an attempt to get your cooperation, in a way that emotionally anchors negative feelings."

Now I'm sure this wasnt your intent... but sadly thats how its come across

I just got tired of going no where fast. She couldn't even tell me if there was any hope of it being more when it's obvious she is into me. I didn't plan a total take away but I was disappointed in her answers & no direction. Looking back I really wish I had made it more about her & giving her space instead of me not investing anymore even if that's how I felt. It wouldn't have felt as much like I was pressuring her.

What's done is done though. So how about some advice for fixing the current situation because I'm crazy about this girl & don't want to screw it up anymore. Should I take the olive branch she extended & use it to call her & try to straighten things out better? Should I totally wuss out & go back to being her girlfriend? That's why I am asking cause I suck at this.

I study all this PUA stuff & it's all about controlling your frame, take away/punishment, not being a wuss, being all about yourself, staying out of the friend zone because the longer you are there the harder it is to get out. This was all in the back of my mind. Even that negative emotion in pick up is better than no emotion & logical thought right? Because it creates tenstion & attraction. I mean I don't like having control of the frame, I wish it was 50/50 but it wasn't before, she had control of everything & I was the lapdog it almost felt like. A month ago when she told me she wanted to be friends & "see where it took us" I told her I would try but that I couldn't make any promises. So she was even warned.

If I wasn't so into this girl I'd wouldn't have put 10% of the effort I have. That's also a big reason why I wanted to step back, because I wanted her out of my head if it's just more of the same & I though sarging other girls might help, but I haven't stopped that the whole time but none have made me feel like this girl.