I've been seeing this girl for a while now, you can read the details here




I’ve been seeing this girl for about 4 months now. We aren’t in a real relationship but I know she likes me more than a friend. She always seems really happy to see me, runs up gives me hugs whenever we haven’t seen each other in a while. We hang out a good bit but it never escalates into anything physical. She’s very reserved about that, plus I have never really hung out where alcohol was involved. I know its no excuse but for me at least it’s a really good confidence builder. The thing is she’s been flaking out on me recently. Couple of days ago I invited her to hang out play some drinking games with me and my friends. She never responded to the invite, so I texted her again that night to see where she was and what she was doing and all that and that she should come over. She told me that she was way too drunk to go anywhere else and that we should hang out the next day, so I told her what I was doing the next day and invited her, she said she was doing something else and that I should come. I never really gave a direct answer about it. Later that night she texted me at 4:30am to see if I was still up, i was passed out by then and never responded. So in the afternoon she texted me saying how sorry she was that she texted me at 4:30 in the morning. I told her it wasn’t a big deal and that it was pretty funny. Then later on that day I sent her another message saying that I was sorry that I couldn’t hang out with her that day cuz I was doing this other thing and she responded that it was ok and that she forgot that she even invited me at all and that it was really an exclusive event and that I wouldn’t have been able to come anyway. So that was kinda of bithchy of her to say, at least I think so. So today invited her to do something else and she flaked and never came.







but anyways I freezed her out for a couple of days and today we randomly ran into each other. She called me out and told me why I was giving her the silent SPAM and stuff. I just told her that I wasn’t and I’ve been busy. So my question is how long should I freeze her out for, I’m still somewhat pissed at her, but I do still like her. I don't want to completely loose her.

ok, first of all, she didnt forget that she invited you somewhere. Unless she is a severe alcoholic, or suffers from temporal lobe damage, shes just being a girl. Its a form of take away.

She does this because she is protecting herself from the fact that you turned her down. Either that or she was inviting you knowing you couldnt come to the event, so that later she could say it was exclusive, therefore knocking you down a peg... It really doesnt matter either way... Seems she likes you as an option (chick-esteem booster) but is stringing you along. I say fuck it; invite her somewhere to hang out, and if she declines, MOVE ON!

My man, there are sooo many girls out there, you cant be afraid to lose one. That perpetuates a scarcity mentality which is illogical and irrational. Walk by her with another girl on your arm, she will steam at the ears... its science.

_________________
Make Moves

Swoop

"My time is too worthy to be stood up" if you really want her then "I think we have a great friendship, you just need to stop acting like a little brat "
YOU ARE THE FUCKING MAN remember that

I want you to think of your escelation into higher levels of intimacy as having a window.

If you try to escelate to quickly your being creepy/pushy, and leads to lots of LMR or Buyers Remorse... you need more comfort or its like trying to break down a wall.

On the ohter side of the window is another wall... thats the wall that comes from lots of comfort and fading/faded attraction... aka slipping away into the LJBF zone or perhaps the "that guy I used to like but was to much of a pussy to do anything about it" zone... breaking through on this side is a hell of a wall to knock down too.

So what we want to do is have a nice balance... and just hop right through the lovely open window. That means you have to confidently make small moves early and work then up larger and larger as your comfort grows.

I'm going to say typically you should be in the window as fast as a few hours for some women who are particularly sexual or you have a fantastic connection with... and the window can stay open as long as 1 MAYBE 2 months but probably not... your waiting longer then that and even the most "good" of good girl will wonder if your even interested... and assume you just want to be friends.