I have a big problem here. I'm quite newbie with girls and I really need your help with this situation guys.

I met this really nice girl couple of weeks ago. We were partying at the club and _she_ started everything. We were both really drunk and it's possible that I'm just somekind of "mistake". Okey, lets start with facts.

This girl... I would say that she is very smart and beautiful imho, but since I like very unusual looking women (I have heard about this many times) I would say that I dont have many competitors. Me myself, I would say that I am pretty low below the average looking guy. Okey... here's the story. It's full of minor point's, but I hope that those will help you to get the image.

We were kissing a lot during that night. After club was closed I attended her to home and asked her if I can get his number. Okey, big mistake maybe... but she gave me her phone and I called to mine just to get her number. I txt'd to her when I was walking home just to say good night again, she replied and she was anxious that I wouldn't find way to my home without problems. Next morning she txt'd to me just to ask how's my hangover. I replied to her that it was ok and asked if it's ok to meet her in couple of days. I said to her that I would contact her later. Few days passed without any contact (I was too wussy to contact her) After that she contacted me and asked about that "date" and if friday is ok. I replied that friday is ok for me...

Okey... It's friday and we meet... She talks a lot about her work, relatives etc. She seems to be quite nervous about this situation. She is constantly drumming the table with her fingers and stuff like that. I try to do my best to keep discussion alive and ask questions about her life and so on. She don't ask anything from me. I drive her home and after couple of hours she sends message for me and ask's if I had boring time with her. I reply "No, but I apologize that I am so hard to approach." After this episode I have not contacted her but she constatly contact me and want's to talk about her life and so on. I have received not a single question from her. I have tried to tease her a little bit and everytime she replies something like "that's just me... nobody likes me" and stuff like that.

This situation is really killing me.

I'm deeply in love, but I don't have any idea how to continue. I would like to know if she only want's to be my friend or what. I don't want to use any "rougher tactics" than its necessary because if she don't want anything serious, I still like to be her friend. She is just too good person to miss.

I really appreciate your help and analysis, Thanks!

To me its sounds like you are both alike, low self esteem etc...
you both need to be with someone and stop with the negative affirmations like
"We were partying at the club and _she_ started everything. We were both really drunk and it's possible that I'm just somekind of "mistake"."
she may have decided to take the lead thats all, as alcohol helps lower the blocks/fears and may have thought you were open to being approached.

why is it killing you ? What do you want? if its how to take the next step then consider talking or introducing into your talks more subjects which are sexy...

Take her out on a fun date - do something , do not just sit talking - HAVE FUN together. This will help if you are both doing something and will give you both things to talk about.
It doesnt matter if all she wants to talk about is her as this is what may be seen as DHV to you, take the lead and she will follow and dont wait so long. A few days between meets is good but more may start stretching the feelings of he/she doesnt like me. Thoughts can be changed - DONT WAIT JUST DO IT.

Do NOT expect her to FEEL the same about you yet, if you both enjoy being in each others company more and more . . then maybe?

This Forum is for people to learn and decide for themselves when they have enough information to settle for having a GF or continue as PUAs, some prefer the non attachment life but crave women in it.

Perhaps this forum may want to create a "Ask Uncle/Aunt" thread for people who dont want to become PUAs but need help, although I expect some would argue theres plenty of websites out there for that. It may help to filter the newbs who come looking for answers but not to really join.

I am sure others will comment in time on your situation and you will have lots to consider, just remember what YOU WANT to do with the information..
I hope this helps a bit, I will watch this thread to learn myself
J1f

Thanks for the answer and encouragement.

Yeah, I understand that this may not be the best place for my problem, however... If you would be able to see me you could understand that I'm already somekind of PUA. Many guys who have appearance like me don't have ANY chances with girls EVER. ...and if this girl won't take the bait I would absolutely want to learn more

With this look I have to have some level of skills just to attract those girls (not my level... not even near) that I have met in past. I believe that I got that novice level talent in breast milk. But in 95% of situations I'm just too shy to start. When I see that girl is worth of trying I just need to get over that shyness and after that everything works fine almost every time. I'm just too picky. Besides, I don't want seek one night stay or waste time just chitchatting with girls some random girls. I can almost immidiately see if girl is my type and most of the girl's aren't.

Do not missunderstand - I believe this is a great place to get answers and that is why I feel there may be a Thread oppotunaty for a Uncle/Aunt reply section. I put what I felt was relavent in the first part and coloured it white.

The rest was there for anyone else so as to make it clear about my thoughts, hope that is clear...

I myself am no picture, that like yours may be negative thinking as many female opinions say that looks dont really matter sometimes. Its still difficult to start a set if your looks arent special , so like a old friend of mine you have to work on a different part to creat attraction.

Read as many posts as you can, I usually log in and check for the last posts since i logged out and repeat that later on at night. Lots of posts and lots of different opinions, some from experienced guys/gals and even some from newbs can be useful

You have the idea though like Nike ad says JUST DO IT and the AA will be less next time, have fun and good luck. J1f

Yeah... I have gone through that first barrier which is shyness, (okey, some of it is still left, but not much) but this second one is much tougher barrier than the first one. It would be just ok to play with some other girl but not with her. I mean now when I know that this girl is very sensitive I don't want to make her feel rejected but I don't want to be stalker either. I could ask her right now if she is interested in me, but I am afraid of the results. I'm not afraid of rejection, i'm afraid if she completely leave me after that.

You know. I just need some extra special method how to send her a message that I'm open for her suggestions and let her decide.

I know that this is strange situation and probably there is no simpe solution for this one among PUA's

I have readed pretty much everything in this forum and now I have somekind of plan. I know that this forum is full of skilled PUA's, so PLEASE help me with this. I am really desperate and I need serious help with this.

First of all. I am going to use that "Just do it" -plan with minor alternations so that it won't be "Deal or no deal" -game for her. She is extremely shy so even thou it's considered stupid to use txt sending this kind of messages I'm pretty much forced to use txt. I'm almost certain that using these lines face to face would completely freeze her and led in bad results.

Okey, here is the plan...

She is still contacting me all the time. When ever I go online she contacts me immidiately and starts babbling about what she have done today and so on. After telling her day schedule she almost everytime starts telling that nobody loves him, how she is alone all the time and stuff like that. I don't know if this is good time to start building this "Just open to me" -phase (is it? any other ideas?) and then after a while start this second phase

I was planning to say to her:

"I know that this is stupid but I have to say it to you. This will haunt me forever if I don't say it now. I am terribly interested in you. It's whole other story if you are interested in me, but I just had to say this..."

* AND before she replies anything:

"But... Don't say anything! Wait!"

"I'm totally cool if you just want to be friend for me and that means you don't have to answer anything if you don't want to. I just HAD to say it."
* I assume that she is still completely freezed and won't answer anything.

"If you don't want to discuss with me anymore you can now say something really bad about me right now and I can forget you."

* now she replies something short like "I don't want to say anything" but regardless what she say I would reply:

"I saw that you have been quite sad lately and I just thought that this might cheer up you"

I found this from some thread that I can't find anymore. I can't give credits cause I cant find it anymore. However... I would like to know how I can improve this plan and if there is anything wrong in it? Anything to add or remove? How I should prepare?

I know this might be too late but I would not send that message. Although if you do send it from the sounds of things it won't hurt your chances with her. She does like you but the problem is as mentioned before she has very low self-esteem. I think it was Ross Jeffries who said leave them better than you found them. This is a great way to illustrate this. Go out and have fun with her. You said that you are in love with her but don't try to fool yourself into thinking that just because it seems like she is interested in you. Go out and make sure that you can have a good time with her.

Normally I would not advocate shying away from more aggressive tactics but in this case I agree with you. She seems to have a bit of low self esteem and using negs on her may be nothing more than hurtful to her. Negging is important though in any relationship whether it is long term or not so start small and see how she responds to negs.

To sum things up don't get too mushy with her right away. Be spontaneous and tell her shes going out with you to somewhere fun. Don't even make it seem like she has a choice in the matter then I have a feeling she will open up a little more. Finally, I would suggest avoiding the interview situation where you talk about family and life and ask her a bunch of questions. Make a game of it. Try playing the old I ask you a question you ask me a question but once a question has already been asked to one person it can't be asked again and ask really outlandish questions that make her laugh.....hope some of this helps

lol, i think you guys found each other.

i think you and that girl were made for each other.

you two seem to fit perfectly, I would not recommend negs and classic routines, i think you are doing great by making your own plan.

honestly though, i think you both are a little sensitive. You could make a good connection with her, like emotionally. and this would lead to a very good relationship
you should keep in the back of your head that this girl needs space, but also love. so dont be needy but show that you care, you can show a little more care than usual because i think she is sensitive (im not sure)
dont overdo it though

I hope I gave good advice

_________________
Failure was never an option


Because girls don't like sex.. Yeah RIGHT!
Why else do you think girls have P*ssies

This is exactly what I mean. Too many techniques presented here and in PUA videos are pretty rough for sensitive or not so popular girls. Those work with woman who has very large group of mens to choose for. Basicly, most PUA -tactics work best for women who seeks for adventure and experiences.

Now I just wait for the right moment to act. After proceeding with this I will post results here so that you guys can use my results if you someday encounter a girl who has extremely low self esteem. Believe me, there are really nice girls waiting who fall in that category.

Your help is highly appreciated. I will still take ideas from you guys, so drop me a line if you have anything to add.