hey hey

Been using lots of game since around christmas, getting a great hit rate - although generally it's been to get girls i like, not just to get f-closes and get my numbers up. This forum has helped immensely and always seems to have an answer when i need a tip [should have left thanks, i know!]

Right now i'm in a bind.

I'll get the disclaimer out the way and say as strongly as i can this is NOT one-itis, as my one-itis 4 weeks ago moved to rhodes and much as part of me misses her, im getting on with my life


So one night 2 weeks back was indoors with a few friends and rolling some mdma when one of their friends came round about 3am. he brought a friend of theirs with him [id never met her] as she was on her way home from shotgirl work at some club. she was HOTT. i thought hb9, subsequent meeting put her at hb8.5. anyways somehow my game was on fire and although they were only there to say hi and get a drink, she decided she'd stay with me and get a cab home later [in spite of having work at 9]. routined her out of her skin and [wierdly] refused to give her my number or take hers. 4.30 or so she left and the guys were like 'wtf how did you do that!' they know her well, and in spite of all the advances she gets, is happier single [8 months+].

i made her work so hard from the first minute even to find out my name and ran nothing but compliance tests for everything. i was fucked, but on fire.

the refusal of numbers became a big deal for her [asked maybe 5 times], so as her cab pulled away and she was waving i yelled at her to call me. look on her face was priceless

well, fast forward 9 days [too long] and i decided to facebook her up [had gotten her number from a friend but elected to try a different method on this one]

gave her the 'you must be shy, or you'd have called by now ' and she again asked for my number and admitted she'd asked a friend for it but he'd refused [good boy]. made her jump through a few hoops then gave it.

was too busy last week to spend any time with her [she has 4 jobs, im real busy] but thursday i had the day off so just called her. she'd hurt her arm pole dancing the night before so was at a friend's place chilling and recuperating - did i want to come round for a barbecue?

met some friends for a while, then bout 4pm rocked up to hers and just laid there chatting [not too much game, just some dhv and general kino and chat]. left for a couple hours to a buddy's house and said i may come back later. 5 phone calls in the next 2 hours convinced me to go back and we just picked up.

the comfort i believe pushed me into some afc behaviours [i get this thing where i feel my jobs done, i'm over the hump?] but still major iois. she asked me to stay, she showed me her photos in various places on the net so i knew i was gold.

time flew and 2am her friend was in bed, she and i curled up on the sofa, then for reasons unknown she wanted to show me more stuff of her on the net. here was the shitter cos her ex [8 months?? get over it dude]and some of his friends had left some pretty nasty comments on some of her facebook photos. frame changed, she was angry and her housemate came down and was pretty angry too. i wasnt in control and felt i wanted to eject, but had to be there for the episode. 20 mins later it was over, friend was in bed us back on the sofa. did some mild ex-destroyers and we're fumbling and kissing, starts getting hotter and she says she wished we were at her place so we could get more comfortable. done deal. just had to test her and i was there.

as im about to respond, the friend bursts in, turns the lights and computer and goes off on one 'I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S DONE THAT TO YOU WHAT A DICKHEAD' etc. thanks girl!

took 30 minutes of them talking this time, me stuck in the middle [really tired and horny but wanting to eject] before it was done. after this, just cuddled up and chatted then she fell asleep on my chest.

next morning we went and laid in bed with her friend but somehow the vibe had changed.

now my problem is that something happened over that night while asleep. we're not in the same place, almost feel like she's flaking and i think i miscalibrated something i said. the morning after she was sorting her hair after a shower while i watched, and i told her to stop, she turned and i told her slow, deliberate and right in her eyes "You are absolutely fucking gorgeous'. before i said it it was confident, genuine and leading in my mind. i knew it wasnt right as it came out, but she went shy for a while, then i guess it clicked with her that was just like one of the guys she sells shots to in clubs says.

that day we hung all hung out [ISOLATE YOU IDIOT!!] but my afc-hangover ways made me want to sort out the situation and by the time i realised it was 3-4pm. i ejected. about 10 she called me, had a 5 minute chat but it didn't feel the same, and i just couldnt raise my energy enough [too much partying i guess]



got another girl chasing me [hb6.5 ] so if it's all done and not worth saving then im fine, but something tells me to still chase this one for the f-close [smokin body]



is it just down to the shit with the ex or did i mess up? i can see things i could have done better but would appreciate any constructive criticism on how to reframe [or just to forget it?] not been here before and my gut says just leave her til she comes running to me. other than that, got nothing.

i hate this damn 30 post rule cos nobody is going to see this, much less read it thanks to anyone who does. fyi i'm 27, she's 21, and amazingly has some strong body image problems.

Teaser

Alright buddy here's where I think some of the trouble lies, Im going to assume your game up untill that night was tight enough so that there was no problem source pre opperation 'crazy friend bursting through door' (That name needs work).

Attraction and comfort are there but Im not sure if you pulled the trigger sharp enough on the seduction, (By the terms you use im guessing you use a fair amount of MM in your game). This is something if you think about you should know if you did or you didn't.

Now on with what I think were the main issues, she notices the comments left and flips the angry switch, now this high emotion can be turned into passion if you can act quick enough and can enhance the situation. Then the friend joined in and you said you did'nt feel you were in control, by this I can assume that you weren't doing muc in that 20 mins? You felt like you wanted to eject, do it. Drop something like ' I'm not going to hear about your ex that means nothing to me, so you two do what you need to. I'll be downstairs.' If you had already lost frame by this point then maybe not something so strong. By you staying there the bad feelings were now becoming associated with you, bad times. Second time it happens , same dealio.

After the second time, you had now gone from her 'wanting to get more comfortable' to probably complaining about her ex to you. You should make sure the ex is not mentioned as its not helping either of you and get back to the esculation. She then falls asleep on your chest and probably wakes up feeling that it just wasn't meant to be. If she was so hot for you before that she may assume nothing happening when you cuddled up after was your choice, that you didn't want her anymore.

Then next day your 'afc hangover' means you are still letting the whole ex bf thing effect your interaction with her, you are not how you were which she will link back to the night before and again, bad times.

So to sort of summarise.

1) Feel free to eject and return after, you don't need to be associated with her negative feelings.
2) Don't bring up her troubles , you aren't that close yet , while with you she has a good time.
3) If she was up for it again after the first conversation with her friend about the ex, she probably was after the second. Atleast find out, if she says stop, just say 'I understand'.
3) Don't appear phased by things not leading where you wanted them to at later interactions.

Hope this helps

_________________
Note to self: Reffering to Chief by something other than his name has the knock on effect of strolling into the chat room and being asked; 'Crumpetberry are you a single hippie looking for a man'

dude i appreciate every word, especially since what i wrote was so looong.

in my mind, up until she burst in i was gold. 9/10 performance from me, unfortunately perhaps a little over-negging but that's her issues in play, not something i could have really guessed. [hb8.5 with so many body issues?] i had her, she was talking soo sooo dirty that it was only going one way.

what you've said sounds spot on - i may be in some way anchored to those feelings of negativity towards either that night and the comments, or indeed her ex. i dont know him but now hate him for dicking me over.

again you're right i SHOULD have ejected. my instinct told me to, but the inner afc wanted to be there as an ear and support. hell, maybe i can one day get to ljbf! i sure am trying!

she fell asleep on my chest but i shifted during the night cos i got too hot and moved away. i figure this wasnt too smart either...?, no matter how uncomfortable i should have maintained the alpha body positioning for when she woke up

all the points you raised [#1, 2, 3 and 3 ] are what i wish i'd been thinking at those times. too late now but great things to remember.

i was most concerned at what i'd said, thinking i gave away a lot of my power as it was less of a compliment than it was showing my attraction [for want of better words]

Would like a pointer on how to re-initiate this as i have said i'll pick her up 8 tuesday and take her somewhere. im thinking i just need to build and maintain seduction, not re-establish comfort or attraction, and push on.

This is the first time since running game that i've gotten to such a sticking point, certainly first time i've gotten k and not led to f that night, and i'm taking it really hard - blaming myself and feeling like i failed myself. i think i'm so keen to make this work out as i know this one will erase my one-itis from my mind [but not replace it]

TheAce, really appreciate it all! maybe one day i can get to a stage where i can help the new guys too!

Teaser

No problem
The attraction should still be there but the comfort would need to be maintained and topped up. Think of comfort like a balloon if you leave it for a while it starts to deflate and needs a top up. Then just do what you were trying to before, when your in a seduction location, go in with confidence and conviction on this date.

_________________
Note to self: Reffering to Chief by something other than his name has the knock on effect of strolling into the chat room and being asked; 'Crumpetberry are you a single hippie looking for a man'