I'll try and make this short and sweet. Met up with a girl at a bar - absolutely one of the smokingest hot girls around - so much so that a guy came up to me and said I was with the hottest girl he'd ever seen. Things went great, I was being cocky, confident, funny. She even said, "you're so confident," and was amazed that I wasn't giving her compliments etc. She couldn't take it anymore and kissed me first, then told me how good of a kisser I was. I said, "ya, I know, you on the other hand are about a 6.5 - but with some work we could get you up to a 7.5 or 8 in no time." Of course it was all in a joking manner but I could tell she was shocked that I would even joke about it. (in reality, her beauty and then her kissing was dizzyfying lol)

Anyway, bill time comes and I say, "well you lost that bet earlier for a drink but I'll still split the bill with you." She said, "guys pay on the first date" to which I said I didn't agree. I caved anyway, figured in all honesty, I don't really care about $50, but I only had $49 in cash and she ended up putting $3 on her credit card and $7 tip. In retrospect, I know I should have just paid with my card since she was pretty much all over me at the bar but that's too late to change. I probably showed a little too much interest towards the end of the date too, but the fact that she texted me last night (read on ) shows there is at least some interest

She's a flight attendant and was out of town, I called her on Thursday night (we went out on Monday) and said I was going to a party on Saturday if she wanted to go she could call. She didn't.

Then yesterday, here is the text exchange:

(On the first date there was a chick who I was joking looked like a man and another I joked looked like an alien, and it was a running joke between us almost the whole night...when I didn't pay the whole bill I told her she should just invite me over and I'll cook dinner and provide everything) to give some background.

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"You missed a great party! When am I coming over to cook dinner? Hope all is well wherever you are and no girls who look like men or aliens are bothering you"

She responded with "? who is this" within 2 minutes (we had called and texted before so she had my number)

me: lol there weren't enough clues in that last message? mark

(no answer)

me 30 minutes later: "best first date ever to blowoff? How are we going to improve your 6.5 kissing score? Your loss, that dinner was gonna be awesome!"

then like three hours later she sent me this: "why don't you say for the first date"

I think that it was a typo, and she was asking me "why don't you PAY for the first date" but it's still a weird message and she's being a flaky hot girl. She's only 23, and I'm 37 so it was never going to be anything more than a fling...

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so I really want to text something back to her that kids her for being a flake, but is also firm in telling her that she's lame without being mean - she was certainly responding to the cocky comedy the first night, but her attraction levels dropped at some point.

First thought: "you know what would be awesome? If your last message made any sense and if you weren't such a flake "

Would love to hear some feedback on this one - my other thought is to just let it go - she's too much trouble and move on to the next one. And tho her interest obviously waned, it seems that there must be some since she did text back.

a little background:
I met her on match.com, she is 23, I'm 37. My first message to her was: "physically, I'm sure that we are a good match. Were we to approach the subject of intellectual compatibility, you might fall short however. I'll settle for the former and hope for the latter, that doesn't make me shallow, does it?" Her answer was "hey" that's it but I remained cool and collected and eventually got her on a date...

sorry it was so long...

"I'll try keep this short and sweet"....


....."sorry it was so long".

Funny.

OK, I was thinking this:

"If only an sms was big enough to explain my methods of madness, I can only assure you they exist - u r silly cause we were fun and you were going to get a free dinner "

It sounds like a bit of a beg to me, its like saying to her that you would pay for dinner just to get the chance to be with her again, you shouldn't have to quality yourself to her.

- SC

I just briefly looked at your post cause it was crazy long, but you're having some issues based upon things being confusing and long winded. Stop making such intricate, convoluted messages and just be up front and straight with the girl. Hell, I have a hard time sorting out what you say in some of those messages and trust me when I say I'm far from a stranger to prose. K.I.S.S > Keep It Simple Stupid.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

in my opinion....you sounded too needy with your texts. I understand that you were probably thinking "wow she's so fucking hot and it would suck if i never saw her again"....but even the line saying "you were going to get a free dinner" sounds like a bribe to me. It should be about YOUR company that she should want, not a free meal. In all honesty....i haven't had much direct experience with the situation of "who pays for dinner", but when it comes to drinks, pot, movies, i don't ever do it. When i first came into the PUA community i read once "you should never have to pay for your company", i truly believe that. I don't care if it's "traditional" to pay for girls....i know well enough that girls are always looking for a free SOMETHING, and unless it's someone i care about.....my money is for myself. She has a job....let her put it to good use.

Now that i think about it, if that situation comes up again i will always say "i know girls are always trying to score a free something, and i'm not one to to be taken advantage of." I'm sure that a quality girl would understand this(b/c she knows it's true) and show that she's not one of those girls. If she is.....she'll be pissed that you called her for what she is, so fuck her(not literally).

well the "free dinner" was me cooking it at her house - far from a steep price to get invited to her house

But thanks for the replies.

how about these two:

well, generally, I'm 100% against paying for company but you made a fuss, so I paid and let you leave a tip, normal for the 1st or 5th date - too bad cause we had fun


or


well, generally I'm 100% against paying for company that doesn't take up their clothes or dance on a pole, but I thought you were different so I paid and let you leave a tip.

or

my rhyme and reason is to complicated for a text - if it keeps you up at night, you know how to reach me.

The last is the best of those three, but you're still qualifying to her too much. Why not just tell her that since she flaked it's her turn to cook dinner.

You're thinking about this too much and making too many games and such, just be straight forward and you won't have so many complications.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

as per advice, this was my text:

It's standard policy. Being a cool and handsome guy, girls are always trying to take advantage. But since I did pay, you should cook dinner

she responded right away saying:

Ha, I would happy to, I love to cook. What would you like sweetie

to which I responded, "As I do when I'm in Italy, I'll defer to the chef"

we'll see what happens.

Not bad. Much more straight forward and you see how well it got results.

The thing about women though, is they generally don't like to make the plans, they have all this superfluous stuff running around in their heads all the time, they can't make a bloody decision. When they are able to make one, they are afraid it's gonna be the wrong one. Instead, they generally prefer that the man take the lead and that he tells them at least the direction that things will be proceeding.

When a girl asks what I want her to make me for dinner, I won't say, "It's up to you," or "I defer to the chef," because that puts it on them and she isn't gonna know what to do, or she'll have to put too much effort into figuring out what to do. I'd either ask her what her specialties are, thus giving you a list to choose from, as well as her (I've had girls veto my choice once they started thinking about what they do really well). Once you have a list, you can say, "Haven't had that before, let's see if it's as good as you make it sound." or something like that that will make her want to prove herself and her skills to you. Failing that, say something straight forward that she hopefully takes some creative license with, such as, "How about some pasta and chicken?" or "Do you do good BBQ? Perhaps some steak?" or "I love a good stirfry." Now she'll have a basis to get started on and she'll end up doing something a little different and interesting in order to get your attention.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

rye you're good -

more updates:

her next text: "what was the question for"

me: "are you a psychic, I hadn't asked anything yet"

she calls: "hello" "where are you (bar noise)" "in bed" phone cuts out, she doesn't call back.

my text 20 minutes later: you once assured me you weren't crazy, now I'm not so sure
txt#2: This is still Alisterio, btw, you are obviously confused

she calls immediately, twice, one minute apart. I'm way over answering.

my text: "everything ends with 'ever' with you. best date. weirdest messages. randomest phone calls."

and now two hours later, at 1:50 a.m. she called again (I drank caffeine after 2pm which is a big no-no, tomorrow is going to suck)

Pretty much ready to chalk this one up after this - she is obviously mental. Of course, I'll gladly accept a dinner invitation

You know, girls do absolutely ridiculous things when they like a guy. Guys do the same thing, they leave flowers for her, they buy her things, they pay for dinner, BUT when SHE does it, suddenly she's crazy. She wants to talk to you, so that's a good thing, what's the problem?

You were at a bar, so it was loud and the phone cut out, but she ends up calling to talk to you AGAIN?! Obviously she's interested. This is what you wanted....

This would be like me saying, "Fuck, I got this girl's number and then after I called her back and got her really interested, she keeps bloody calling and wanting to do stuff! That's so silly. She wants to cook for me and then probably have sex. Why do women do these things?" I mean yeah, it may be a little weird, but they put up with it from guys and we say the guy is just really interested, so why not just put up with it from them and take it as flattery? It means you're doing good.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Actually, she called me from the bar, I was in bed, after sending a message that probably wasn't meant for me.

I told her she might be crazy and she was def confused.

Then she called three more times with one text from me in between.

Now what? Should I call her today, wait a day? This is the point where I usually get lost lol

How about this:

Well that was awful late to call me on a school night, luckily you didn't wake me...digging yourself quite a hole for dinner, hope you are a good cook. what are your specialties?