Overly Shy at Parties - What to do?



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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 1:38 pm 
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So I went to a house party a few nights ago, and I realized I'm very very shy, even around people I know from school. I don't sit in any corners, but I'm quiet and keep to myself.

How do I flip the switch to make me more of a....party animal, especially if my personality tends to be shy and keep me in a shell?

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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 1:48 pm 
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i have a friend who has the same problem
i tend to make him get involved in what ever is being said by aiming questions at him
at first he wasnt too happy for putiting him on the spot like that, but after he got comfortable talking and getting involved i just sat back a little and watched a happier mor engaging person

my advice , if it means anything at all, would be to just try and get more einvovled and once you start you'll realise it isnt hard to keep goin

hope that helped


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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 2:14 pm 
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Are there any CDs or books to read on this?

Does anyone know about Hypnotica's CDs, and do they work?

Red, that's helpful, but honestly, I'd be uncomfortable asking that from my friends.

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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 3:41 pm 
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Ok so last night I go out to a club with a friend of mine, complete AFC and kinda lacking in wit. Great guy, friendly personality...but can't wing for me at all. I pretty much felt like I was a loner in the club, I pulled the AFC for a little bit which was pissing me off until finally I said screw it. I grabbed a couple glow sticks and started raving just to get myself moving and out on the floor. A few minutes after I start a HB8 bumps into me by mistake apologizes and we start grinding. From there I went up to as many groups of girls just to dance and work on getting rid of my AA. Even if girls gave me the cold shoulder or blew me out of the set I didn't car, I took everything as a learning experience with a smile. So that's what you have to do, think of fight club..."it's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything". Get rid of your cares, realize that the very worst that could happen in my case anyway, is that a girl would laugh and give me the cold shoulder. Keep a smile on your face and understand that you do not have to live with these people or see them every day of your life. LOSE YOUR FEAR AND LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOURSELF....DON'T LET FEAR LIVE IT FOR YOU.

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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 5:36 pm 
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Um, GO talk to people. Tell jokes. Tease people/ bust on guys. PLay games. Play Drinking games (watch out if you're a lightweight).

I'm being very generic, cause at a good party it's very easy not to be shy. At a sucky as party even I keep to myself sometimes cause it's just lame, lol.

The main thing is to just have fun, do whatever pleases you. I like playing beer pong or asshole or whatever.

Just do it. ;) mentality

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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 5:39 pm 
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Shadow, something that would probably help huge is getting over your AA (approach anxiety).
Cause if you didnt have any, you would have no problem mingling with ppl at the party if you know them or dont.
The ppl that stand out at parties are the ones that are having a good time, girls like guys that are having fun.

Go to a mall, or downtown, and every person listening to there ipod, stop them and ask them what type of music they are listening too.

That'll be a good start at getting more comfortable in potentially awkward situations.

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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 7:53 pm 
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Smile!!!
If you look like your having fun then you'll eventually have fun, using positive body language.
And if you gonna play drinking games (like flip cup or something) some how find a way to be the leader. Count down, make everybody concentrate and get into he game.
Smile. Be a Leader.

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PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2008 8:13 pm 
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ECSTAZY :).. you will be the king of any party... well maybe not... but at least you will feel like that.


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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2008 5:55 am 
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Live by the three second rule. When you first go into a party you MUST open a set. It sets a good mood for the night. If you see people you;d like to talk to but think about it and hold your tounge, you will be regretting it for the rest of the night. Just force yourself to talk, even if its awkward, because you are smart enough to overcome your instinct and realize that it is the best thing to do and even a failed set isn't the end of the world.


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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2008 12:39 pm 
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Quote:
ECSTAZY :).. you will be the king of any party... well maybe not... but at least you will feel like that.
lol. I don't recommend that. Just suck it up and go in. It'll suck at first but gets easier after a few attempts.


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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2008 11:29 pm 
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vocal projection

if you say ANYTHING, say it fuckin LOUD

...and i mean LOUD, so like everyone in the room can hear u

it'll put u in the right headspace


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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2008 1:41 am 
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Ok here's a different one.
Be the crazy drunk guy of the party for a night. Take ya mate dave who is alittle less energy than you, and drink some before you go. I did this at one house party and without even having to do much i became the party, i did'nt even feel that drunk, i remember i even fell on a guy.
Anyway just an idea.
If they're on or below the poverty line, its best to be sober guy.
Oh also try goin on little missions & see where you end up, and get one of those little girlys that opens for you.

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PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 3:47 am 
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Quote:
vocal projection

if you say ANYTHING, say it fuckin LOUD

...and i mean LOUD, so like everyone in the room can hear u

it'll put u in the right headspace
Believe me, this helps so much. You basically force yourself into being the center of attention and you realize it's NOT so bad.


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 Post subject: go for it
PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 4:10 am 
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the way i look at a party is everyone is there to have fun you just need to take a deep breath when u get there and have fun with your friends. when u act yourself the women will come to you. Just have fun if u r not having fun they change something u can do it :lol:


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