lately I seem to be getting solid numbers from 5 minute interactions then spending an hour with a girl just for her to flake. So I am thinking my time and money would be spent better if I just got more numbers and didn't bother with the instant date until I know she is dtf. what do people think?

Too vague of a description on what's happening. Are those solid numbers within 5 minutes leading to meeting up with the girl? Do you get less interesting over the hour instadate? How is a number less solid after going on an instadate?

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An instadate can immediately lead to a single day lay. If you want us to help you, provide more details on your instadates.

A girl with you alone who's having fun has better odds of giving you pussy versus five girls on the phone who live several dozen blocks away from your apartment whom you cannot touch nor see face-to-face. Besides, rubbing your cock on your iPhone is never a better alternative compared with leading a girl's hand on your crotch and rubbing it on your cock during an instadate.

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the solid numbers I get do leed to me meeting up with the girl. I guess I must become less interesting after an hour lol. but the last two instadates that I went on, I never heard from them again. and each time its some quick number that i got that day that I end up seeing again. It might just be luck.

for my instadate I usualy take them for cofee, then a pub then try and fail to take them home lol. from your replies it sounds like instadates are still the way forward so I will continue always trying for the same day lay (which I haven't managed yet). thanks

Seems a little backwards.

If your only goal is to get laid you would be better off taking no phone numbers. Making it your standard that if a girl doesn't sleep with you, you don't want her number. Thats if your goal is to just get laid.

Racking up on a bunch of phone numbers can be time consuming.

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This doesn't mean much when you are using numbers as high as two. You may be overthinking this a bit.

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How do you escalate OP? I want to assess if your fundamentals are good.

Of course, she won't suck your cock in Starbucks during an instadate but personally, I don't get the girl drunk after coffee. Firstly, the coffee's aroma is great for sharpening her memory. So if you failed the same day lay attempt, she'll remember you in a favorable light for the day 2. Coffee and alcohol counteract each other. The first one will make her remember you while the second drink will make her forget what happened especially when she had too much to drink. Of course, alcohol almost always loosens up a girl's inhibitions. So you need to weigh the pros and cons of your pattern of pulling to your place.

Secondly, I don't go for getting girls drunk for legal reasons. I fuck them sober. In case of any legal issues down the road, there will never be an aggravating circumstance like a drunk girl in my apartment. But of course, it's really up to you to decide on how much risk you can manage.

Here are some pointers on what to do and what not to do during instadates. If you already know these fundamentals, well and good. If not, give them a serious thought and be consciously aware of these.

1. Keep the conversation light and fun. Don't dive too much into personal topics most especially about you. There's a proper time for being 'vulnerable'.

2. Hold the girl's hand early. When she gets the urge to talk, shut up, listen, hold her hand (none of those gay tap her shoulder or arm kinos), and look into her eyes with lust. That's the best escalation you can do. If you can get a girl comfortable with hand holding, then you're golden. It would be so much easier to lead her hand to your cock and rub it when she gets really comfortable.

3. Don't be judgmental. Not only about her but also on other people as well. Focus on positive and fun topics.

And last but not the least, dress good, smell good, fix your fashion sense and live a healthier life. Women can sense it when you're healthy enough to give them a good pussy pounding.

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there is some really good advice here thanks. I am not doing any hand holding at all so I will definitely start working on that. and I will also try to not go for numbers at all so I am forced to try for the lay every time. And about getting them drunk, I don't want to just because I am too frugal to pay lol. I usually get them a coffee then another coffee in the pub but even that I am finding too expensive to keep doing. So if anyone has a cheaper or better idea let, me know

Try the park. "Hey, let's feed the pigeons over there."

Or the beach. "Have you seen the sun set over the ocean on a cold day like this? Come. It'll be fun."

Or the mall. "Let's window shop for some hats."

Or the library. "Let's go over there. I'll tell you about..."

Or the garden. "You remind me of white roses, blue roses and black roses. Have you seen a black rose? Not yet? Come. Let's go to the garden. I'll show you one."

The variations are endless man. With the garden instadate, I isolate girls to the botanical garden at the university. I let them close their eyes and then I doodle a crappy flower with my black pen. This quickly escalates into a lot of teasing and touches from the girl (pinches on your abs, hits on your arm, etc.) It's just that the coffee instadate is more normal and let's you get under the radar.

Find out which one works for you best. The keywords are: fun, memorable, and covertly sexual.

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thanks man I have a botanical garden near where I am. I never thought it would come in handy

Stop making everything so forced. There's no right or wrong. If you're not busy and she's not busy.... Sit down and grab a cup of coffee together. (If it seems natural.)

The same thing goes for her number... If you're just getting her number because she stayed there talking for 3 minutes, you're probably wasting your time. And coming off as a social moron. If she's busy and you're busy, then you get her number... Again, if it seems natural.

What you say or do doesn't really matter. All that matters in this case is whether or not the two of you have some chemistry.