My life is stuck, no facebook, no friends, no gf basically



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2016 12:58 pm 
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I don't have and never had facebook, just have one picture and zero friends, I neither have social life, I had friends but they have a life and they stopped contacting me about 6 years ago. My life has been stuck in the same circle, college and home, can't find a job, unemployment. I have a gf and we have been together for 7 years. She works every single day and we only see each other once a week. Her communication with me has decreased in the last few years. She has told me more than 10 times during the last 4 years that she wants time and that she wants to stop our relationship. She fucked another guy 2 years ago and I continued with her, not because her asking me for giving another opportunity, but because I didn't have another option, I don't have skills to go right now and fuck a girl so easily, I don't have money for prostitutes either. Recently, I met a girl in college, and she showed interest every time we talked, I tough she was going to act positively, but when I asked to go out she just gave me excuses(first headache once, next: have to study, "yes we will go out soon" next after I told her that I wanted to learn more about her, without thinking about what was going to happen next, then she didn't answer my texts anymore). I stopped seeing her because classes are about 3-4 months in duration only and I never got to the "friend zone". I have tried several times to get a gf, but I keep getting rejected, I live in Miami, and the "game" here is difficult for me, I just see many drug addicts and men that believe they are the only ones in the world with high arrogance fucking beautiful girls every time. Another girl recently was talking with me, she knows me from previous classes, and she is asking for a friend request in the unused facebook account that I have with 1 picture and zero friends. I know this girl is attracted until this moment. But what if she asks me about my facebook and I say that I don't have? how can I get out from this?


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2016 3:50 pm 
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It sounds like a bit of a vicious cycle, where your lack of friends/job/closeness with gf/whatever is hurting your self esteem, and that lowered self esteem is causing you to become needy with friends/gf for validation which drives them off and lowers your self esteem further (my pseudo-psychology analysis)

Back in my teenage days I had no social life whatsoever whereas it seemed everyone else had an abundance of friends/party invites. These days I am much happier, partly because I have more friends and things like that and partly because I don't feel bad about myself for not going to parties, not having a girlfriend and not always being out with friends. I'm more comfortable with myself

Anyway, my point is, I think once you start the climb out of this bad situation, you'll find it picks up momentum and things will get better and better. Me getting a job (and interacting with people 35 hours a week) was what helped me become more confident, develop socially and make more friends. My suggestion would be to do what it takes to get a job. I don't know what type of job you're after or if you're happy taking anything but get yourself a job, interact with people regularly and build your confidence. You'll naturally stop being so dependent on your girlfriend/friends for validation (become less needy) and people will want to be around you more


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2016 4:04 pm 
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At least it's not this bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvExPAHT_TM


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:23 am 
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I agree with Clocks. You need to see yourself as valuable, because you are. You are in college, you have been with one girl for 7 years, you have admirable qualities right there alone.
Quote:
men that believe they are the only ones in the world with high arrogance fucking beautiful girls every time.
You're fooling yourself with this one. Do you actually follow them back to their condos and watch them fuck? A lot of the world is an illusion. While it may seem like every guy is getting laid like a rock star, the reality is that 10% of the men get with 80% of the women and that may be a conservative estimate. The vast, vast, vast majority of men simply do not have the skills to meet multiple women. And make no mistake, it is a skill set.

Your brain is using your Facebook status to try to stop you from doing what you really want to do and that is to improve some aspects of your life. I get the feeling you would like to move on from the relationship and explore the world. The fact that you do not have a FB profile or whatever is completely irrelevant. If a woman asks for your "social media" platter of sites, tell her you don't bother with that stuff because it is too time consuming.

Remember, there was a 1 in a billion chance that you would be you. If your parents had not conceived that particular night at that exact time, you wouldn't be you. Look around, look at all of the colors, enjoy the gorgeous sunshine, appreciate what you have, and by and by you will find that more to appreciate will come in to your life. My advice to you: Gratitude.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:18 pm 
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GOOD JOB!


You've made a first step in recovering, and that's recognizing the problem. Start reading other posts from other guys you'll see your life ain't that bad as you probably think. Oceanx said it, start enjoying life.


Start developing your hobbies, start going to gym, start running, start reading books about self-help (there IS NO SHAME in that, I read them all the time), start making parties and start participating more often in parties (I'm in college and there is a party 5 times a week), get drunk, get new haircut... ETC.. ETC.. My point is = start socializing.

And then, stop bitching about your life, bitching never helped anyone. If you have a problem, get used to actively searching for solution every time you are in doubt or down. Wish you the best of luck.

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 11:44 pm 
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Thanks to the contributors of my topic. She again told me to end our relationship, this time she is not answering my calls, and complete rejection from her part. She told me she loved me 2 weeks before. It has always happened like that, she tells me she loves me during the relationship, but then just any day without apparent reason she just tell me to end telling me that she doesn't feel anything for me. Referring to the job, it is just a job with low pay until I get graduated from college (in about 3 years), but unemployment is high in my city.


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