So I'm hoping I can get a bit of advice from people far more advanced than myself! Heres the situation
Met a girl on Tinder about 5 weeks ago. Got the first date no problem. I'm a very exciting, high energy guy and I've never had problems with the opener or keeping her attention and she had an amazing time. I turned what she thought would be a 2 hour meeting into a 9 hour date. After this she was totally into it, initiating text conversations and we were both having a great time chatting. We both have relatively busy schedules and were only meeting once a week for dinner or drinks or even a coffee. Going great.
Then on New Years (4 weeks after meeting) I thought I would be a bit direct and sent her a text saying "I would be having a much better time if you were here with me!" (We had both been invited to different parties and after only 3 dates we didn't cancel plans to spend the time together.) She replied "whoa slow down there" But not in a flirty type of way. So I managed to explain it away as me just having too much to drink and doing something "movie cheesy" which she bought.
At this point we are still only seeing each other once a week. I would try to invite her out more often during the week for a quick coffee or lunch and she would decline saying lots to do or university or whatever excuse. But she feels bad because she's always turning me down even though I ask alot. And we would then make plans for the weekend or on a holiday and do something.
Last week we decided on a movie night at her place. I go, bring the wine and everything is going great, clothes coming off then she stops and says not only is she on the rag but that she isn't sure if she wants to have sex with me yet but I'm more than welcome to stay over. This is the first girl that I've spent more than a couple weeks with and I could see this being more than just a hookup so I agree that we can take it slow. I stay overnight (In hindsight this was probably the start of my problems)
So I leave the next day and we chat a little later in the afternoon. I mention that her birthday is coming up and that we should go somewhere (to this really quaint, romantic little village) and she doesn't seem receptive at all so I drop it. Now I suppose the blue balls from the other night clouded my judgement because this is where I think I really fuck it up I think to myself, we've been seeing each other for 5 weeks now maybe I should be more direct... I text her
Me: Let's meet up today. It doesn't have to be another movie night but it would be nice to see you more than once a week
Her: Lol how often would be ideal for you then?
Me: See I can't answer that right now! Because I only have the experience of once a week. I would recommend we gradually increase the time spent together until we find the ideal balance! You know, collect some empirical data! (Empirical data is an inside joke between us)
Her: Ahahaha very...ambitious of you
Me: What can I say, I'm a scientist first and foremost (another inside joke)
Then no message until later the next day when she comments on how cute a picture of me is. The texting has become a bit shorter and less fun since then despite me trying to keep it lively. I feel like from that exchange I came off way too needy and pushy. At the same time we just made another date (for this weekend) I'm going to her house and we are cooking dinner together. I'm getting some mixed signals now and am thinking I need to step way back. At the same time I know shes getting a ton of other messages from other guys and if I pull away too much she's going to quickly move on.
It's a long one guys, thanks for those who took the time to read and I'm hoping to hear any thoughts and feedback. I do like this girl and can definitely see the relationship going somewhere. I feel like I'm tightrope walking at the moment trying not to fuck up.
CHAT
