| “Patrick! When I’m with a pretty girl, I always seem to run out of things to say! How do I not run out of things to say??”
If I had a dollar for every time I was asked that question…
Relax And Make Art
Have you ever watched someone play the guitar?
Does said guitarist ever run out of notes to play?
With only 6 strings, the artist is able to decorate the air with beautiful music… And you’re worried about what to say?
I want to throw a concept your way: Every second of your life, you have the option to play it small, be mediocre, be average – or, you could create art from the depth of your heart.
That is the way you have to go about speaking with women.
When playing guitar, you are not trying to get to the end of the song as fast as humanly possible.
When dancing, you are not trying to get to a certain tile on the floor.
The only reason you are worried about running out of things to say is because you are trying to get somewhere.
Show Up Fully or Go Home
If you are trying to get somewhere, you are NOT showing up fully.
You see, most men, including you for most of your life, are speaking at women.
They don’t truly connect with women, and said women don’t go to sleep fantasizing about them, for the simple reason that most men could be talking to a blowup doll in the same way that they speak to a human being – they just don’t give a shit who is on the receiving end.
The basic fact is that you direct a conversation based on how good it makes you seem in her eyes, and her contributions are merely vehicles to further your own agenda – you don’t really care what she has to say.
In short; you run out of things to say because you are not truly curious about her, you’re more concerned with how you appear to her, with what she can do for your ego, with how she may or may not validate you.
That’s the bottom truth, and if that’s where you’re coming from, then you are not truly there with her. You are not showing up fully.
How can you be when you’re too busy thinking up your own response while she’s talking to you, finding ways to one up her story as she tells it?
Communicate From Your Depth
Understand: Women want a man who is so fiercely present, without recoil, completely unwavering in his love. That is what she falls in love with.
Someone who is completely conscious, fully there, with her, free of judgment, not trying to conquer or retreat but just there, loving, alive and present.
Practically speaking (and this is the funny part), the second you stop to think about what to say next, your consciousness is bifurcated – you are no longer fully there with her, and she will not trust or even care about what you have to say next.
So no, I will not give you ‘the next line’, or tips on how to keep talking because it’s all a waste of time.
Honor your truth!
Relax into who you truly are, and then give her the gift of your unwavering, undivided and unrepentant presence. Ask questions out of curiosity, listen to what she has to say with no judgment and no thought, and if you don’t feel the need to speak, don’t speak – just enjoy being there, with her.
Like playing the guitar… Be so immersed in your love that every word is unthought, every action spontaneously blooms from your depth.
Try it out and let me know how it goes.
Truly your biggest fan,
Pat Ananda _________________ DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE  --> http://centeredmanproject.com/
|