Ok so the usual recommendation is to dance and Kino. I am pretty shitty at dancing but anyhow.

What if there are a lot of girls off the dance-floor, just standing around or sitting/standing at tables. But its still way too loud to talk to them.

What the hell should I do then?

That was my situation yesterday. What I tried doing is just Kino and a short question every now and then. eg.

I approach say how are you, and put my arm on her lower back or hip.

Then I might say where you from and continue to escalate kino. Lock eyes when I can.

At this point some girls might resist and take my hands away and/or turn away.

Sometimes they allow me to continue more.

The girl I went furthest with I was touching her progressively more on and off for about 20 min. I stood next to her and did not really say much as I cant really keep conversation in such loud environment. She seemed to like me at first.

After about 15 min she put a bit of resistance to my touching. Maybe she got bored and moved away after another 5 min.

I asked her if she wants to go outside with me to talk. She said she is about to leave club, and told me to go outside now and she will go out with her friends after me.

I did not do that as I think she was just trying to brush me off at that point and I have no idea how long and what for I would wait outside for. I wanted to talk to her alone.

I did not interact with her further and saw her leave club about 30 min after.


What should I have done?


P.s. I was soloing at the club. I think that makes it harder as I am often loner and cant establish much social proof.

Next time convince yourself mentally that your friends are in another area of the club. It will aid greatly in your social calibration.

With or without dance floor, if it's too loud, the same rules apply.

Make eye contact, meet, escalate - you can always take her ON to the dance floor ' Let's dance' (lead) and then eventually disappear into the crowd away from her friends.

It seems you didn't do much wrong, you just tried with girls that were not sexually available. Just keep doing what you're doing

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If you're solo gaming at a night club you're already steps above many.

It would be wise to learn to bounce energy off of the other guys at the club for a little boost as needed. For example; tap the guy next to you and say " I bet you five bucks I can get that girls number over there". Most guys will do it, just because, and from there you can either make a new friend, or five bucks. It will also give you a boost of social energy to go accomplish your task. That in itself can warm you up enough to fuel you through the night.


Don't invite girls outside until its time to take them home. The simplest thing to do is pass them your phone with the screen at the "enter number" section. Don't say a word, they'll know what to do. From there take it, move on to the next one, and text her while you're there.

You can even open her with "Vodka Cran or Long island? " when she picks one, you reply " Alright meet me at the bar on the left hand corner". When she arrives just be drinking the drink and offer her a sip. Take it from there.

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