F_closed, Power Struggles, She's Confused. Need GREAT advice



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2015 3:20 pm 
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Just had a f-closed a couple of days ago, sex was so good she cried (maybe it's 'cus I didn't wear a condom :P ) Anyway I have told her I can't meet up with her during the weekend 'cus I am gona be busy ( I have another girl that I talk to throughout the weekend.) So on Saturday she texted me this,

Her: Oh, just curious. You planning on keeping what's going on between us in your bedroom, or you could take it outside your bedroom?
Her: If you wanna keep it inside your room, then I just won't ask to you hang
Me: I don't feel any shame holding your hands outside the streets, so what do you think?
Me: That was a silly one, of course we can expand it beyond my bedroom
Me: Towards your bedroom.
Her: Ok
Her: But no one invades my bedroom though.
Me: Ok doesn't really convey a mesage here, how do you feel about that?
Me: wanna elaborate on "you just wont ask me to hang" as well?

5 hours later at 12 AM
Her: *Sent a beautiful pic of her*

The next day 12 noon
Me: That picture didn't solve my confusion about your questions, nonetheless it's still a good picture to look at when I'm alone at night.
Me: Although it would've been a better pic if there's more cleavage showing.
Her: Hmmm. You mean something like this?
Her *Sent another picture of her with more cleavage showing*
Me: Yes. Much better, although there's always space to improve. :)
Her: Lol. Talk like you're validating me
Her: Watch out with how you play with that dominance game.
Her: Just 'cus I'm giving you the power doesn't mean you can abuse it.
Her: What are you doing tonight
Me: Dominance game? What are you talking about lol
Me: I'm not the one dodging questions like it's plague over here.
Her: What questions are you talking about
Her: So busy tonight?
Me: Yes, now i rather have this discussion when we see each other next time.
Her: Ok
Me: Btw I don't play that game, but if you want me to dominate you I can most definitely give you a life experience you can ever ask for.
Her: Lol. Sounds like I really misunderstood you.
Her: Oh, incase you haven't noticed, u didn't come out when I said I wanted to see you last time, and you're busy today. So technically you rejected me twice in a row.

Me: Misunderstood me for?
Me: Why would you perceive it as rejection? I make time just to see your smile whenever I can.
Her: I miss you now so wanna see you today. If i can never see you when I miss you, then I'll just won't miss you.
Me: Let's get together soon, I wanna see how much you miss me.
Her: Soon? If you soon is today. I'm busy. If you soon is another day, gotta see how I feel then.
Me: I would love to, but not today.
Me: well you have got to feel food on Monday 'cuz I will see you then!
Her: Sweetie. I don't like the fact that you are the one keep making the calls.
3 Hours later..
Her: Alright. My patience is wearing out. I hate it when I feel like I'm only there for convenience and I don't have any control over anything.
Her: So you keep having women who would listen to you all the time, leave me out of it.

I haven't replied since, but I do get a feeling this girl is breaking down just 'cus she probably thought I'm with another girl out during the weekend and I'm not telling her anything. So I will need all your input and good advice on how should I reply to the last text to reassure her or at least to make her feel like I do care about her and it wasn't like the way she's been picturing the stuff.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2015 4:29 pm 
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Posts: 5689
To be honest. You sure seem to treat her like shit.

She just wants clarification if she is a fuck buddy or a potential girlfriend. Tell her your intentions and tell her that you won't be texting/seeing her everyday.

If she is a fuck buddy. Try to keep it to once/twice a week. She is very keen and a little unstable. You should predict that she won't be able to stay a fuck buddy for long so make sure your game is still sharp for new ladies.

Be normal. Tell her she is cool and you will be honest with her. But she won't make a boyfriend of you.

Lay your cards on the table and tell her of the situation. Ditch the douche bravado.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2015 4:39 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:17 pm
Posts: 3427
Location: Toronto, Canada
She clearly wants you. She clearly wants you to be publicly involved.

If that's not something you want, why not be straight with her?

I'm also feeling like you need to take this off txt messaging too. You two are just getting pissed off at each other for dodging questions and that is a lot harder to do in person or on the phone.

Text is hurting you, here.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 31, 2015 2:39 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2015 3:28 am
Posts: 2
Quote:
To be honest. You sure seem to treat her like shit.

She just wants clarification if she is a fuck buddy or a potential girlfriend. Tell her your intentions and tell her that you won't be texting/seeing her everyday.

If she is a fuck buddy. Try to keep it to once/twice a week. She is very keen and a little unstable. You should predict that she won't be able to stay a fuck buddy for long so make sure your game is still sharp for new ladies.

Be normal. Tell her she is cool and you will be honest with her. But she won't make a boyfriend of you.

Lay your cards on the table and tell her of the situation. Ditch the douche bravado.
I thought I've already given her the answer stating I don't mind holding her hand outside the streets, I'm sure she already understood where are we going about. She didn't really say how she feel about that statement I made, so I guess she doesn't really want to discuss about it any further. When we hanged out for the past I've told her I'm probably gonna be busy throughout the weekend, and we can mostly chill on the weekdays as well. To summarize it I don't think me becoming her BF is what she's emphasizing about, this is where the real problem is from what I believe:

"Her: Sweetie. I don't like the fact that you are the one keep making the calls.
3 Hours later..
Her: Alright. My patience is wearing out. I hate it when I feel like I'm only there for convenience and I don't have any control over anything.
Her: So you keep having women who would listen to you all the time, leave me out of it."

When she claimed she doesn't have control over anything, is she referring to the fact that she can't see me during the weekend and only I get to choose when to hang out with her? Also she did mention she feel like she's here for convenience, just 'cus she didn't see me this weekend and she's thinking about I'm only using her for my pleasure? (Assuming she missed me too much and how do I change her way of perceiving this the wrong way because I don't want her to feel like a tool.)
Now she also said, "So you keep having woman who would listen to you all the time, leave me out of it." Does that mean she want to be unique compared to the other women I previously slept with?

At the meantime, I also had advices from another PUA on this forum he advices me to say this:
I see you're feeling left out for who makes the plan, you can just make the plans then next time, I'm free mon-thurs.
After I said that she still hasn't gotten back to me yet, did I approach this correctly or I shouldn't have said that? Hope to get some good responses and advice from you guys soon, thanks a lot everyone.


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