Let’s start by making one thing clear, if you are looking for an answer to the "how to find a girlfriend" question, you should probably be addressing deeper issues within your life…

Now, I understand this is not the greatest answer to the commonly asked question: how to find a girlfriend.

You were looking for that one hidden garden where all the girlfriends are hiding. You know, the paradise island with fantastically attractive well-behaved women waiting for their dream guy to show up in their sailing boat to take them away

But I don’t blame you…

I used to be on a quest to exactly the same place, however, I didn’t manage to find it…

In fact, I was just trying to find the matching piece of the puzzle, like I was incomplete…

And I would hazard to suggest that by asking the question: “how to find a girlfriend” that you are in exactly the same place. You feel your life would be much more enjoyable or even “complete” with the addition of a mildly attractive female?

However, I am here to tell you that you are most likely trying to fill the void inside of yourself with the nectar extracted from the image you have of this one great female.

To make it worse, all the songs they sing on the radio trick you to think that the bullseye is right there, in the heart/legs of your supposed “true love”.

“Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you”
– Adele, from her best-selling single “Someone Like You“

Yes people are made to fit into each-others holes quite well…

But before you put it into someones else hole you need to find your own WHOLE.

So, with this in mind, the one place you should be looking when asking how to find a girlfriend is…

Within YOURSELF

If you enter a relationship with this same famine mentality, then yeah, it’s great at first. Like a heroin addict juicing right into the blasting sore on his arm… yet it is just the cycle that produces more hunger.

Yes, what I am trying to say is that you cannot find the answer to the question “how to find a girlfriend”, without (running the risk of becoming to philosophical) first finding yourself.

Before entering into a relationship with another person, you must be completely happy with being alone.

Yes, and the problem being that there is no quick fix, $29.99 product for this issue. You have to read, play, run, socialise and work your way to happiness and fulfilment that is not tied to the actions of a person of the opposite sex.

You need to build a life that you are excited to wake up to, that includes activities, foods, work, people, places that you love. Your life must be filled full of things that offer a greater alternative to “finding a girlfriend”.

And what’s funny is that once you do achieve this and do fine whole, aren’t that bothered about the “how to find a girlfriend” question anymore.

It’s a paradox, just like eating before you go to the grocery store, the shopping trip is much less exciting.

Drop your thoughts below…

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Its kinda hard to find a "girl friend" if you're an introvert, and very small social nextwork with really no women to meet in. With me, I like my alone time, but I would also like to spend time with someone as well.. plus I have sexual needs and desirse that a bottle of KY Jelly and a Flesh light won't fullife What do you do if your a lone wolf... you just throw your self into the chaos, you have to adapt to the sitution, like you've done before.