I've been hanging out with some twins I work with. I wasn't particularly interested in either at the beginning, as they weren't really my preference, as far as looks go. There aren't bad, just not what I usually go after. After talking with them for some time I become interested in one of their personalities. I put forth the initiative and we started hanging out often. I used the typical PUA methods, mainly because that is just how I act.

We were in the middle stage of comfort, with kino escalation happening. One morning, after work, I was driving myself home in their car, with both of them in there, and her twin asked me if she could ask me a personal question. I didn't miss a beat and said "sure". She asked if I liked her sister. I replied with an "Of course." She quickly added "Do you like her as more than a friend?". I didn't expect such a straight forward question and showed my surprise. I paused and let out a "uhh..."

The twin quickly responded, in an excited tone, "What happened to Asians? Did she change your mind?" (A little pretext on that. I had, since the first few times I had talked with them, expressed how I preferred Asians.) Still unsure what the best thing to do was. I conceded and replied, "Yeah." with a slight smirk. At this point the target, for lack of a better term, was getting obviously uncomfortable and was trying to get her sister to stop talking about it. I was looking at her and she was telling me to stop looking at her, in an embarrassed tone.

The twin explained what things made her notice. All of which were valid reasons. They then changed the subject and were talking about other people at work's relationships. After I got to my house, we all kept talking for a little bit. We usually talk for a long time, but we were all aware that each other was busy that morning, so it was kept short. As I was walking away, the "target" asked if she was still my friend. I responded with a smile and said "Why wouldn't you be?" She said "Yay!" and I went into my place with a "See you." and a wave.

Alright. I feel like I dropped the ball with the direct question, but even looking back at it, I'm unsure how I should have responded. Just looking for insight on this particular situation and also on how I should handle similar situations in the future. Thank you in advance.

Define "kino" here. Kissing, fingering, etc.

_________________
RSDTyler

I thought it would be obvious by saying the middle stage of comfort. Nothing that far on the list. The kino I define as middle is hugging, hair touching, contact while talking, etc. Most of the recent times we have been hanging out has been during breaks at work. I know I should progress faster, but I rarely find a chance for more private interaction. Did I mess it up because of that? If so, any damage control suggestions?

I think this is more of a misunderstanding of sexual attraction. I'm guessing you're fresh off Mystery Method?

The thing is, they do a poor job of explaining the difference between normal friendly touching and sexual touching. If you're touching her in a way her dad would, you are not in a sexual situation. "Kino" should really be thought of as "sexual touching". It's true that you generally need to do friendly touching before you move on to sexual touching, but a girl letting you touch her the way her brother does, isn't a sign that she's into you, you know?

The cat's out of the bag at this point. You should go for it now if you're wanting to ask her out.

If you want to play games/buy time, the best thing you could probably do is apologize and tell her you do like her, but you met a new girl and you're going on a date tomorrow night. If anything knocks a girl off the fence, it's thinking you're about to be off the market.

_________________
RSDTyler

Alright. Just a couple more questions then. As far as asking her out, do you mean asking for an exclusive relationship or as in calling it a date? Because we have went out already, but nothing that black and white.

Also, is it better to do the other option? Which would you recommend based on what you know. Really, I wouldn't want to lie, but if I put a couple of hours in I could probably get a date tomorrow night.

Asking her on a date, where you have sexual contact. Hanging out with a girl, where you don't even kiss her, is not a date. It's hanging out with a buddy. If you go on a "date" with a girl, where she could claim to be a %100 lesbian afterwards, and you'd have to agree it's possible, it's not really a date.

I don't really like games, because I don't think they work that often. But I don't know if you just want to go for it or not.

_________________
RSDTyler

What the hell bro?

I'm not even sure why this deserves a post. You're clearly in from this story. Your responses were cool and everything leading up to them was solid. It wasn't perfect. But when is it ever? She even submitted herself to your judgment at the end which was a clear sign that she'll go whereever you decide to take her.

And sisters aren't embarrassing each other. If she brought that up, its been talked about before. Women talk about EVERYTHING. If you've ever sat around 2-3 women and stayed quiet and listened. They bring up details that we as men would never even get into. It doesn't even cross our minds. So they've talked about you while you weren't around for sure. This was the moment and she made this best of it. Salute to her.

You're fine man.

The way I see it you, you'll be getting whatever you want to come out of this very shortly.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

I think you did only one small mistake. You allowed the situation to get awkward in the car. In the future try to keep your calm and relaxed state and if a girl asks you that just answer as it would be a normal question. In any case, it's not a big problem, just try to not do the same mistake again.

I agree with eddie fews: if the sister brought it up it means it has been discussed before. I think she tested you, but i would say that you passed it. Well done.

Let us know how it proceeds!

The main reason I posted this was due to the awkward situation. I guess I let it get to me, since I don't often let that happen. I was wanting pointers on how to handle it. I'll keep in mind to treat all questions as normal questions.
Thanks to both of you for your posts. They both boosted my confidence even more. I will be advancing this to the next stage very soon. I'll keep you posted. I'm glad I decided to post on here about it.

I figured I'd post an update, although not much has happened. I have seen them both at work, as usual, and they even came over to my house on lunch break to eat. I was able to escalate into a little more touching. (She asked me to massage her back) However, it is very difficult to get any alone time, as the sisters stick right next to each other. As such, I figured the best thing would be to plan an event with just me and the target.

As far as plans go, all three of us had plans to hang out and then go eat today. After work, they told me they had to go change and would be back. After they got home I got a message saying that they couldn't make it in time. I replied that we weren't eating until 12, it was a little after 9 at the time, and asked if they couldn't make that. The target replied that actually her and her sister were having a disagreement, but not to let the other sister know she told me.

I then asked what the target had planned the next day, which is our day off work. She told me nothing, so I told her to join me, by herself, at the zoo, with humor and an inside joke included in the message. She text me a lol and told me I should go with my other friends so they don't get "jelly". Then she said "I'll stop texting you so I don't take over your day lol I hope you have a good one!" I ignored it and teased her about being afraid of the zoo, because she had cancelled a trip to the zoo before. She replied that she loved animals and sent me a picture of her at the zoo from the past. I offered lighter plans instead and received a "Eeeeeeeeeee" reply. I didn't know what she was meaning by that, so I messaged back "Eeeeeeeeeee?" It then went on a couple of more messages and I text her "What was the tone of the Eeeeeeeee? You sure are being complicated ". She didn't respond.

To summarize, the recent correspondence doesn't feel right. I understand she could have something going on and after typing this I feel much better actually. I'm mainly just using this post as a way to get my mind off of it and not overreact. Any thoughts? How about suggestions on getting her alone to progress further? I see her all the time at work and I feel like I'm taking too long to progress, but I'm not finding any chances.

I never saw any signs of sexual attraction to start with. You went for it, she said no.
I believe this is a dead end.

It's not because you did something wrong. It's because there was no sexual attraction there. You did what you should have, which is go for it. That's %90 of what you'd ever need to do.

_________________
RSDTyler

I only agree partly with versalis. There might not have been sexual attraction (thing i'm not that sure about), but i think there was at least interest.
In any case I think she is kind of regretting letting you so near to her now that you are making real, obvious advances. She and her sister surely noticed the change.

I wouldn't say it's a dead end, but i would maybe slow down and wait a bit.

Well, I wanted to post an update. Nothing major has happened, but still more than I'll be able to fully describe.
Firstly the "target" told me that the argument was partially over the fact that her sister thought I was cute and felt the target was lucky to have me like her. That was a confidence boost. The target told me she ended the fight by telling the other sister that I thought she was cute and would date her if she didn't have a boyfriend.

The target came over because she had mentioned wanting to clean my house and I brought it up after work. She came alone, and after she had cleaned, I hugged her while she was standing next to me and she sat down in my lap. I embraced her for a bit, but made sure to end it first.

During that time, and even more the next few days, she started talking about the guy she is currently "involved with". I put involved with because I'm not sure what else to call it. According to her, it's her ex which has cheated on her around 10 times in the past. She called him in the car with me and asked me to crank the car and stay quite for a minute. I asked her later why she wanted me to crank the car and she said she had told him that she wasn't home yet and wanted him to think she was driving. This really struck me the wrong way. It's a major drop in my attraction scale for a woman to be hiding our time together from another guy. She said he only called her twice a day to check up on her and was always lying to her.

Later in the week, me and both of them went to their place for a bit and then went to eat. While hanging out, the target started talking about a guy she likes from work, who she previously had told me liked her, but she had no interest in him. I just ignored it and treated it as a normal conversation. She suddenly started hugging me and pressing close to me a lot after that, but her sister was there. I mentioned that she was awfully huggy in a playful tone and she said it's because she was tired. I had put on a pair of the sister's glasses and they both kept mentioning how I looked really good in them. Her sister also wanted a hug, which I allowed.
At the end of that day, the target mentioned that she was actually going to miss me today. Her sister said we do hang out a lot, but the target said, but I usually don't miss him. I told them to park because I wanted a hug. I expected a group hug or something, but they said they wanted their own hugs.

I had mentioned plans that same day for today. I text the target and she said her sister was busy and that she didn't want to hang out with me alone anymore because of her sister thinking that I wasn't her friend and constantly talking about how I like the target. She text me a little later and said if that is okay. I replied that it wasn't okay. I said I don't model my behavior based upon other people. We talked about that for a little and her sister was supposed to be going out with friends, so I told the target she is going out with friends, so no hard feelings if you join me. She said she had to fix her hair for work tomorrow with a frowny face. A little while later she text me saying that I must hate her now. I then proceeded to post this message.

I had pretty much dismissed this as a matter of no attraction due to her constant talking about her ex and the other guy from work. She also mentions that she only likes older guys, which I am not. I feel like she would have given me a LJBF speech by now, though. Thoughts? I think I'll keep an eye on the waters, but move along at the same time. Thanks again for all of you guys time reading and responding to my posts.

A girl would only give you a LJBFs speech, if she thinks you're trying to be her boyfriend. I don't think she even views you as a sexual threat. What you describe, sounds like she basically thinks of you as a little boy/woman.

Sounds like you'd have much better odds with her sister.

_________________
RSDTyler

Well, we went out yesterday and after she came back to my house the mood changed dramatically. I was aiming for a K-Close, but it resulted in a full close. She called the other guy her boyfriend when talking with me. She asked me if I would act differently now, but I said I was consistent. She asked even if she was still with the other guy. I didn't know what to say, so I just ignored it and moved on with another conversation. She told me that I couldn't kiss her at work or if her sister was around, because she knew she has a boyfriend. This sort of makes me feel like a douche. She was insinuating heavily before that she wasn't really involved with him anymore and was wanting to break it off completely, but it seems the further I get, the more involved she is with him as well. She told me before she left that we wouldn't be able to hang out for around a week, because she didn't want it to be weird. I text her later and she responded normally.
Now my question is what should I do with the current situation? I'd like to develop this into a normal relationship. My current plan is to give her around a week to think things through, while I still hang out with her, but ease back a bit. See what she decides to do with the other guy and if things don't change tell her I'm not willing to continue this in secret. Thoughts?