Hey guys, just wanted a bit of advice about how to handle the following situation.
I’ve been seeing/sleeping with this woman for a few months (just dating, nothing exclusive). I felt like I’ve been a bit AFC on some of our dates and was prepared to move on so I stopped pursuing her. Ever since then she has been really hot and cold. We didn’t talk for a week until she contacted me and asked why I stopped messaging her and told me she liked me and wanted to see me again. I also felt like she was beginning to hint at wanting something more serious, she asked me to come over on the weekend and we kept on chatting until she suddenly ignored one of my messages mid conversation so I didn’t see her and we didn’t talk again until a week later when I messaged her and ignored the fact that she had ignored me. When I messaged her she told me she missed me and wants to see me again so we stayed together again that weekend. I thought I was a bit AFC again but she continued pursuing me until about 10 days ago when she was feeling a bit stressed and upset and wanted a break from everything and wanted to see me again so I suggested we go away for a weekend next month when we have time. She thought it was good idea and seemed keen and then she suddenly began ignoring me again. Since then I think she got drunk and slept with someone else and has started seeing other people (doesn't bother me much) and I’ve being meeting new women and haven’t bothered contacting her. I’d like to continue seeing her but I’m not sure how to go about contacting her again and how to avoid just communicating on her terms. Any ideas? I don’t understand why she’s being so hot and cold either? Is it even possible to win someone over again if they begin to move on and see other people? How?

It sounds like she is not what you are looking for so why the fuck even bother?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Really? Wouldn't have asked for advice if I didn't want to continue seeing her. I'd actually prefer to continue seeing her than the other women I've met recently. Do you think she might have wanted something serious and I didn't pursue her enough?

Sup dude,

Too me it just sound like you're playing one too many games and not just clearly communicating what you want and why you want it.

Your english was a bit difficult to interpret, but if you want the girl, pick up the phone, call her and let her know. If she responds negatively, but your losses and move on with your life.

_________________
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Pardon me, if you want a chick that blows you off, flakes on you, and fucks other dudes, hey I'm cool.

But like Eddie says, it's not very clear what you want.

I would just keep her as a FWB til you sort yourself out.

It seem you want her when she's unavailable. That's how she should feel about YOU.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Ideally I'd like to continue seeing her, she is much more attractive than anyone else I've met recently. I didn't intend on playing games I originally stopped pursuing her because I felt that the first couple of times we met I was behaving too much like an AFC and she wouldn't be interested in seeing me again but this wasn't the case.
Sorry, it wasn't the best written post. I was just trying to include plenty of detail so maybe someone could figure out why she was so hot and cold. I thought maybe she was testing me to see how interested I am?

We don't really speak on the phone, unless it's something urgent or important not many people my age do. I'm thinking about messaging her but what‘s the best course of action for the ignored text? It’s the second time now she’s ignored a text and stopped responding randomly in the middle of the convo. How is that best dealt with? Do I carry on like normal again and show that I’m not affected and basically don't even remember being ignored so I don’t look needy and too affected by her behavior? I’m in two minds. On one hand, mentioning it makes me sound too needy; but on the other hand, carrying on without ever mentioning it (A) makes me seem like a doormat (B) yields no info as to why it happened.

If you keep hanging out with the guy that smacks you every time he sees you he will naturally assume that you like getting smacked.

Honestly bro, you're going to have to move on. I know you don't usually make phone calls - one of the reasons you're asking for this kind of advice, but its all you have. All you have is one phone call, or one video chat to fully express yourself. Chasing up behind ignored text and ain't the way to go. You're implying that she gets rewarded with more attention for ignoring you.

I'd suggest moving on, because no girl that i've come across yet is worth this much trouble, and from what you've already stated about her she DEFINITELY isn't. But if you must try something, make the phone call.

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Maybe there's a reason she ignored me? She wasn't fucking other dudes while I was seeing her but I wouldn't have had a problem with it if she were, we weren't in a relationship and if it's okay for me to fuck other women why shouldn't it be okay for her to fuck whoever she wants?

Ideally I'd just like the continue seeing her and see what happens from there. How do I go about keeping her as a FWB after she's ignored me though?
I think this was how she felt about me, when I originally stopped messaging her she told me she liked me and when I contacted her again after being ignored the first time she told me she missed me (which was I found a bit strange, if she missed me why would she ignore me?) but maybe now she thinks I'm too available because 10 days is the longest I've gone without hearing from her? So I'm thinking she either lost interest, became more interested in someone else or got sick of doing all the chasing. I wasn’t going to send another text until she messaged me again but I feel like this might backfire. If she stopped messaging me because she lost interest and met other people do I basically have to restart and spark her interest again?

But why do they smack you? Maybe there's a reason. Is there a way to stop them from smacking you and continue hanging out? Should I ask her what happened? You said 'if you want the girl, pick up the phone, call her and let her know.' How should I let her know?

I've seen this advice on here a bit and I don't agree it's always the best option. There's nothing wrong with messages and I think it's actually better in some ways. Phone calls require more time and effort which doesn't fit the whole 'alpha, pua abundance mentality' thing. A guy with lots of options wouldn't have time to call all of them. I think unnecessarily calling women is a DLV. I prefer messages and think phone calls can be a bit needy and creepy, especially after you've been ignored and when that person prefers messages and you've rarely called in the past. They would just find it weird. Calling might work in some situations but I don't feel like it would here.

'

Well you know what bro?

I call women every single day.. And you know what? I never run into issues like the issue you are running into now. So you do want to listen to me? Or your own rationale which has led you to asking for help on a forum about some girl who is more than likely a waste of time?

I'll never under guys arguing with guys who have what they want while the guy is telling them how to get it.

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So how exactly would you go about calling someone who you haven't heard from or contacted in almost two weeks, someone who might possibly have lost interest and let them know you want them? (I'm not sure I want her but I'd like to continue seeing her). Given that we only really stay in contact with messages calling her would be very unusual and if I even got an answer I'm certain it would be "Why are you calling?" I think she would either be too uncomfortable to answer or a call would make her feel uncomfortable so I wouldn't really get a chance to 'fully express myself' anyway. I'm not sure what that means either?
I'm happy to listen and I appreciate your time and advice. So thanks! But if you never run into these issues maybe you're advice will be as helpful as my rationale? I'm not arguing I just disagreed and figured there's nothing I can say to her that can't be said with a message. I thought in this situation a call would kind of make it seem like I'm pressuring her into a response and thus I'd be less likely to get one but if you can give me a bit more advice I might give it a go.

A text message doesn't have a voice tone. A masculine voice makes women emotional and horny. I have gotten several f-closes this way.

Eddie gave you advice because it works (at least for him and several other guys like me).

You only have three choices here:

1. Follow Eddie's advice that works for a bunch of guys.

2. Follow your own which clearly isn't working for you.

3. Follow Heywood's advice which works even better.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

This sounds a bit ridiculous. For a start I don't think my voice is attractive and secondly women hear male voices all the time and they're not constantly emotional and horny, most male voices would turn them off, especially one who might be making an unwanted call and trying to 'fully express himself'. I think it's more important to gauge her level of interest before I try making her emotional and horny. I'm not saying Eddie's advice doesn't work for a bunch of guys I was just saying in some situations like this it would only come across as needy and creepy and DLV.
Eddie's advice was basically, "pick up the phone, call her and tell her I want her." I don't think this would work and I'm not sure how to tell her/what to say. I don't know if I even like her I'd just like to get back in contact and keep her as a FWB. Any suggestions would be great.
Normally I'd be confident enough to follow my own instincts but it's hard to know what I was doing right to make her pursue me as I thought I behaved like an AFC and she still chased me until now. And I don't know if I did anything wrong to make her ignore me?
What's Heywood's advice?

You haven't called her yet so you really don't know how she'll react to your voice. You're a guy who's still a virgin so you really don't know what type of masculine voice makes women horny.

Unless you try, you'll never know if Eddie's advice will work for you. There's really nothing to lose by calling her. I'm wondering what you're so afraid of. It's just a voice call. You won't die by calling her.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

What does that even mean? Clearly I'm not a virgin, I've slept with her and plenty of other women.
But sure I'll just call her and let her know I want her and ask her what's up and why she ignored me and fully express myself. She'll probably be wet within seconds. Women never hear masculine voices!

In all seriousness women hear masculine voices all the time, I think what you say is more important than how you sound and my point is I don't really know what to say. I'm not afraid, there might be nothing to lose but I also think there's nothing to gain so I don't see the point.