im still on this journey to be a better social self and talking to anyone be it male or female. i approach women free of any out come and having fun even if i am flirting with them. i have this one friend who says i come across too flirty and creepy and that know one knows how to handle being around me like the group of friends i already have.

it feels like this friend is trying to pull me back down to being the chode or chump im trying not to be.

has this happened to any one else?

Strangely, yea this happened to me recently, he said that i should take it slow and conventional, hell we were arguing because i text "hi ms wannabe dentist, i have an oral situation, can i have appointment the day after tmw" to a girl I just knew. Well to me it feels like dragging you down like in your case, you need not listen to them, but be objective if he say something like "bro i think your opening line lame" maybe you could take a hint. Other than that do your naturally do. That's just my suggestion however, good luck.

i think my friend is trying to be the comfort nice guy that is the friend and ends up in the friend zone. ive been that guy for a long time and hasn't worked for me. my friend is wanting to be the comforting friend that takes care of the girl and save her from asholes. im just wanting to have fun and if i befriend a girl, i think thats good and if shes not into me then ill just befriend her and posibly use her as a wing. i dont see why i cant have female friends, i dont see it as being in the friendzone if im just being friends with the girl and treating her like any other friend of mine.

People are afraid of changes, people are going to pull you back - ignore them. For example: when I started to work out all of my friends were pulling me back saying "no, it's dangerous, why do you need it? let's go to bar instead" - but I just ignored it.

Hell yeah.

Anytime you make a change there are going to be people around you who aren't comfortable with your change and/or like you just the way you were and don't know what this change means for the friendship.

Explain to whoever it is that this is who you are going to be, and that you enjoy being there friend, but if they aren't comfortable with it then maybe its best you guys don't hang out. Don't let anyone stop your from elevating.

My friend would ALWAYS get uncomfortable. Even when they see you clearly being successful. They think " Well the types I'm girls I'm interested wouldn't go for a guy running up behind them on the street" - hell yeah they would.

Those very same friends that would get uncomfortable with me approaching years ago are not just starting to feel comfortable approaching women. Acting as if it was there own idea. lol Its life man.. Keep going.

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So are you actually having success doing it this way either? I'm not telling you to follow his advice, but his warnings may be valid. He used the word "creepy" and said people don't know how to handle being around you.
That sure sounds like you're acting in an odd manner. Hitting on girls doesn't make you creepy. I'm just wondering what you're doing.

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RSDTyler

I have recently experienced similar things myself. People get angry when I try to have fun around them, people get angry when I flirt with girls, and people question me when I feel good, as if there's something wrong with me. They have never seen my old self though, and no change, so it's not the change itself they are scared of, it's the fact that you are DIFFERENT.

People don't like differences, hence racism, homofobia, bullying and stuff like that. The optimum (in their opinion) would be if everyone were clones, exactly identical. Biologically this behavior can be explained as "the survival of the genes". If someone is different he doesn't have your genes and is a threat. Funny enough, there are rapport building techniques where you should try to mirror the other person, because it is flattering and seductive.

So, who should you listen to? The girls who shine up when you talk to them and greet you with " I have missed you!", or your friends who can't identify themselves with you? The answer is rather obvious, don't your you think?

thanks this is true, ive always been the different one and being bullied. i guess i need to be put back down before i can step up further. and im guessing the best people ican seek advice is the people i interact with, always calibrating. ive had some good interaction and bad once.

i try not to follow routines, i try to think up something that feels genuine and not some made up ruitenes, though the whole derren brown thing was mostly made up but still a part of a conversation ive had someone before.

the same night i had that conversation i had another fun interaction with an Irish student and her telling me she wanted to fight me and started playfully fighting. later on in the night she turned round to say she hated me and that my friend was hotter than me which didn't bother me. at the end of the night i wasn't afraid to give her a hug good bye which did to everyone of her friends and i do it to everyone of my friends so i though why treat them any different. i come to the assumption that they like me and im free from any out come and having a good time

so is there any advice or anything that could help with building comfort? because i feel i tend to freeze after a while and run out of things to say and become quiet and thats when it tens to get awkward and i want to be less awkward.

thanks

Pretty much what I thought. Your friends aren't trying to keep you down. You're behaving like an oddball and he's legitimately trying to warn you.
That doesn't mean "Stop talking to girls", it means "Stop being weird when you hit on girls".

It's hard for me to diagnose what you're doing over text, but it sounds like you're running "game" rather than being normal. Avoid "game". Just use the useful bits of knowledge like needing to approach strangers, vibing with her, isolating her, always be escalating, even 'good girls' will fuck on the first night if you get them horny enough.
I notice your language is peppered with RSD cult speak.

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RSDTyler