We all had flakes, some of them will just never meet you, some you just have to work on a little bit harder. But what if you can see the flake coming, before it even occured? It has happened to me a couple of times, that the date was set (in most cases a couple of days in advance) and the closer it came the more the interest on her part seemed to dropp off. I usually try to keep the convo to a minimum a couple of days before the actual date, so as to not seem to eager, but you kind of have to check in the day before or day of. Usually, if she doesn't reply to that or gives you a vague, one not answer you can already smell the flake. But in alot of cases she doesn't cancel until a couple of hours before the date.
I feel like that period is kind of like schroedingers cat. Dead, but not dead until you opened the door. So my question, has anybody a solid way to get the whole thing back on track before the cancellation, or do you have to wait it out and use post-flake stuff and set up another date? I feel like those couple of hours are kind of like a shittest, like she's waiting for you to give her a reason to not change her mind about meeting her. But I've yet to figure out how to best handle the situation.

The key to prevent a flake is by being a person that she wants to be around. I'm not saying that as an inspirational type of statement, instead it's meant as how is she going to know that she wants to be around you? It's the initial meet that determines that. Avoid being the guy that gets a girls number and onto the next girl in a few minutes. Have a quality conversation when you meet her. If you can, an instant date not only gives you some quality time and it is a great way to test her compliance. The last piece of advice that I can think of is the sooner you can have your day 2 will work better for you. Attraction can fade so if you can schedule your day 2 for within 1-3 days, your odds of flaking will go down significantly.

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One solid phone call. 30-60 mins..

Any girl flaking is usually a result of you not having built up a strong enough emotional connection with the girl prior to the setting up of the date.

Never under estimate a woman fear of rejection; its way greater than yours because she's most likely been rejected less in her life. Especially cause of her level of attraction. She naturally gets more yes's.

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My personal view on flakes : Irrelevant.

As a true "player" you should be having more than one girl in your rotation if you're playing the field.

So if one flakes, you dont care, you got another on the loop and so on.

This also adds the benefit of not giving a fuck.

Hot girls have busy lives as well so it all makes sense in the end.

On top of that if you're abundant girls sense it and become more attracted.

I garantee you if you have a good flow of girls in your life, nice source of girls coming in and out, you will get results more often than not. No point trying to decipher a riddle about a girl who's playing games.

My philosophy and i'm quoting "Mark Mansons" book here "models" is that "DONT PLAY GAMES"

Be streight forward with girls, get em out, give em chances if they seem genuine and if not REPLACE THEM, you dont want to spend time and energy on girls who want to play games. Even if you lay them is still a mind fuck.

I garantee you theres a girl out there ready for whatever it is you want. And much easier. Who wont play games.

But nooooo we want "THAT ONE" ....thats not how life works.

And for those of you who are NOT abundant, and DONT have a constant flow of girls. Either move to another city. Deal with it. Or just be AWARE of the fact that that ONE girl You like so much and is playing games is JUST NOT WORTH IT. Either cut her off, give her one last chance, and move on to having an attractive balanced life that draws more girls in.

I been with amazing women that havent really worked out with me and after moving on i've found even more amazing ones. Life has a way of giving you great things.

The key is to go out and get it. Make it happen. Grow. Dont settle for less.

The thing is alot of guys want a magic pill
how do i preventtt flakesss and so on, truth is some girls will flake. Thats life. Give em 2-3 shots. Then replace. No need for explanations, an attractive man doesnt give a fuck, he's busy.

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Disagree to the point of, if you are not doing what YOU need to do to make a girl not want to flake you need to fix that because it's something that's partially in your control. Will you prevent all girls from flaking? Absolutely not, but if you are operating above a numbers game level you you'll be happier with the women you get.

I understand this abundance mentality that is a good approach to women that reject you but this thinking is creating guys that aren't as good with women as they can potentially be. Why not take some time to learn to get the women you want with a higher success rate rather than just trying to be happy getting the women who accept mediocre game?

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You are all making valid points, but most of you kind of ignored the specific point I was raising, and mostly talked about general flake stuff. Not that I disagree with all you guys, alot said here is true and should be incorporated into everyones game.
But I'm talking about a very specific thing, namely that period between a flake becoming likely and the actual cancellation. I mean sure, just not giving a fuck is one way to deal with it, but kind of a destructive way. You most likely have alread spent time on that girl and more or less lost an evening, you had set aside for her. I'm pretty confident there should be an easy way to avoid that. Calling is probably not the worst idea. But I gotta admit, recently, especially with girls under 20 I'm starting to feel like calling is kind of becoming obsolet. I don't feel like too many girls are still into that, but maybe I'm wrong. May also be a cultural thing, since I'm not from the US.
I absolutely 100% agree. I've got a very very specific type and I noticed that I'm just not very excited by laying girls that don't fit that. Don't really see any point in pursuing girls im not particularly into.

I think Eddie and I were both trying to tell you the same thing. You build an attraction that makes her not want to flake on you. If she thinks she'll be missing out, she won't flake unless there is really good reason.

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Again, while your point is absolutely true and valid, that's pretty basic anti-flake knowledge. Useful and important but also something that's been talked about for a decade and doesn't need another thread. I was talking about a very specific thing.

Is this a problem that's normal for you? In your OP, you state it's only happened a couple of times and the setup that you are using as an example is not ideal. If you are creating situations that are not ideal then maybe dtrak is offering the best advice for you when this problem presents itself.

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Well I haven't been flaked on for a first date in a few years.. So.. I think don't think its any deeper than the advice I gave. I think you're over complicating things in your head. A solid emotional connection established almost guarantees you no flake unless its 100% legitimate.

What girl wants to miss out on the opportunity to get swept off their feet by an amazing guy? None that I know.

Most things are a lot more "basic" and "simple" than they are made out to seem. There are very few "special" situations, and if this is a problem you're running into multiple times, I think the very basic decade old information is exactly what you continue to over look.

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If you think shes not into you enough why not just call her and build some interest?

I think calling is mostly kind of weird, if you haven't spend time with her in person. For example, if you talked to her only for a couple of minutes (maybe you met her on the bus or smth like that) or you only met her online. There's alot of circumstances where it's not really possible to build to much (maybe you are working, maybe she's working, and so on). Thats why I reject that premise that it's about deeper levels. I mean sure, at some level, it's about that too, but there is just loads of circmustances where you don't get a chance to build a solid connection.

It's pretty obvious, surely?

Think about why you would not want to meet up with a girl...

For me, if there was not enough attraction & I didn't feel the urge to go
and meet someone, or have enough interest, then I wouldn't waste my time.
I know a lot of people on this forum would say you should go and meet them anyway (more girls etc) but for me I don't waste my time on girls I'm not into (emotionally or physically)

Would I miss out on a date with a girl who I have a good connection with and am
attracted to/interested in? No, I would not.

The same is true for women, if you don't have that "spark" or you haven't built up enough
attraction/interest then she is liable to flake (and who can blame her?)

Obviously sometimes things DO come up and it can be legitimate.

Also I agree on the phone call part, completely different to just texting and for me I can really
build a lot of comfort over the telephone. It really is a good tool to use.

Lol. Cold approaching is kinda weird. Meeting a stranger off the internet is kinda weird. Taking that stranger to your place after a couple hours of meeting them is kinda weird.

The reason you call is BECAUSE of those reasons you listed. You didnt have a chance to connect in person or online. So you call to see if it's worth going out with her. Look at it this way, if you only spoke to her for a couple mins on a bus, why WOULD you give her a date? I communicate that I'm calling them because I want to see if theres more to them to give them the chance to date. When we're laughing or having a good time on the phone, thats when I suggest a date. Because she's cool to talk to and I think we'd have a good time.
Not only am I communicating I have standards, she sees that we can have fun over the phone and she feels like we're going out for another reason besides shes hot.

Text them "I'll call you around 7 before I run to the gym" or something, just make it known it'll be a quick thing. As Eddie said, a solid emotional connection is needed, and if that wasnt in the initital meet or she's showing signs it's dying, then call and spark it.

+1

I FaceTime a lot of chicks now too. ESPECIALLY if i meet them online.

Also to the OP, a great phone call is almost equivalent to a great first date. Many times you can go straight from the phone call to inviting the girl over to your house.

Once the comfort, attraction, and sexual tension is built; whats the point in going out? Why not just come on over? Why get dressed up and spend money (especially during the winter), when we could just cuddle up, with hot chocolate and watch orange is the new black on netflix?

Almost anything you ask for with confidence with usually be given to you from a woman you have established, chemistry, comfort, and attraction with.

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