i had a huge crush on this girl back in 2010 at my workplace and we were very close friends

i left my workplace in 2011... but somehow while i was doing my best to keep in touch, she found new friends at work n replaced me...i became like the lapdog... joining gatherings she has with her new friends just to keep in touch with her .. while they kept talking about what's going on in the company while i felt left out.

she showed a massive amount of disrespect to me... once in awhile she will become nice n within a short time she changes back to her disrespectful cant be bothered self.. she also stopped messaging me etc...this went on for about 2 years before i decided enough was enough

so have not been in touch for over 2 years

this year i joined a new company n shes working there now... initial catchup over coffee was very pleasant.... massive respect from her.. maybe cause 2 years had wiped off everything.. and this time i had gotten over my crush on her and wasnt giving out the lapdog vibes.. it felt like a fresh start

within 2 weeks she started being not so respectful... replies 1 word replies occasionally when chatting over messenger... no longer gives the respectful vibe

but the thing which is annoying me is... shes been asking me out to lunch for quite a number of times (in the past, she just went lunch gatherings n din even call me along... that was how bad her image of me was)... but it always involves 2/3/4 ppl from my ex-company who are her good friends.... the same ones who i tried to mix around with in the past just so that i could spent time with her.. i have not been in touch with them either.. sometimes it feels like she showing off that she's still in touch with friends from ex-company while im not.. i have absolutely 0 interest in connecting with them cause its just gonna be them catching up n me feeling left out like a fool.. she thinks just cause i "know"them i should be interested

so far i have kept using the excuse that i already made plans or something came up at the last min... used this abt 3 or 4 timrs so far

this week she msges me saying shes meeting A/B/C for for drinks and asks if im interested.. i know who are A & B from the past... i asked her who is C? she says... "i dunno if u know him or not... or if he joined after u left.. hes from the excompany.."

i replied back "haha ya i have no idea who he is.. he should have joined after i left".. i was expecting her to reply back something but she never responded after tt.. never talked to me the next day either

i'm left thinking was i rude cause i did not give a clear yes/no reply about whether i wanted to join... sort of like a rude rejection

anyway i have a feeling after 5 times i did not join in, shes prob never going to ask me anymore cause frankly how many NOs can someone take before thinking FXXX it

anyway my question is... how do i handle this situation without appearing rude or that im still hung up about the past

what do i do the next time she asks if i wanna join her and person A/B from my ex-company for lunch? how to make it known that i have moved on from the dark lapdog days of the past n im not interested in going back to the past and entertaining her friends just cause she thinks they are important ... i wanna do this in a way that i dun appear like an AFC.

some of you all might be wondering why dun i ask her out instead... the past memories are not good... She's always flaked or gotten other friends along. so I'm trying to pre-empt this by not asking at all

and if you are curious : yes i wouldn't mind banging her still